#TRYHARDSZN2024: All hail the queen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I don’t think anyone’s beating this: Hinesville, Georgia high school senior accepted into approximately 231 schools, amassing approximately $14,790,695 in cumulative scholarship offers

Welp, I think we’ve found our alpha #TRYHARD for the 2024 season, at least for the category of kids who apply to every single college under the fucking sun, because I can’t imagine that there’s anyone out there that’s going to surpass 231 acceptances at this stage of the season where most selections have to be made, like last week.

What’s amusing to me from this article is the approximation as far as the number of acceptances and the cumulative scholarship dollars are concerned.  Usually I feel like lots of these #TRYHARD stories just kind of round to a nice round number, usually 50+ unless it’s really high, to which approximation comes into play, and I suppose when you’ve got 231 fucking college acceptances, you really want to shout that from the rooftops.

I mean earlier in the year we had like 60+ and 80+, but this girl right here is the true queen, who clearly has been applying to colleges since 2022, because I remember how long a single college application takes, but to repeat the entire exercise over 231 times because I don’t believe that it’s possible for her to have batted a perfect 1.000 here, she clearly has been copy and pasting her credentials, or she’s getting some sort of advantageous means to apply to all these schools on a fast track. 

Either way, it does seem kind of fucked up, and really makes me wonder what the quality of life this girl has been living over the last few years, or wondering where she’s had time to apply to all these schools on top of the supposed extracurriculars, volunteer work and workload commitments she must’ve had.

Imagine if she had to pay for all these applications because I don’t imagine she had to pay a cent if she’s applying to over 231 schools.  Google says the average is around $75-90 which is bullshit because I remember it being way higher when I was applying to schools, but even still, multiplying that to just 231 is still $17,325 on the low end, not including the schools applied to that she didn’t get into, let’s round up, and since all these #TRYHARDs love to spout numbers, let’s estimate that she should’ve been billed about $20,000 just to apply to all these schools but more than likely didn’t have to pay.

But in true #TRYHARD fashion, as mind-blowing as 231 acceptances is, the lack of clarity on any notable acceptances, the rush to boast numbers and aggregate scholarship dollars, still indicates that the quality of the #TRYHARDING is on the low-end, especially considering her end result is selecting High Point University, in North Carolina.

I know where High Point is, since it’s in that space between Charlotte and Greensboro, and I know if it as a place that signifies that the boring-ass stretch of nothing in between the two is coming to an end when going northbound.  I also work a lot with a studio out there that did photography for my old company, and knew some nice folks there, but still by and large, High Point is a place where most people don’t really know where it is and probably have to Google it in order to find out where it is, and the fact that out of 231 schools, High Point University is the one that wins out means that the pool probably wasn’t populated by any heavy-hitters.

I mean, a free ride is a free ride, but High Point’s average tuition is allegedly $42K a year for an out-of-state student, and if she’s getting a free ride, we’re looking at like $170K give or take.  That being said, considering she amassed just under $15M in scholarships, I can’t help but be curious to know what kind of underwhelming offers there were from the 230 other schools that don’t have the dubious distinction of being selected by the 2024 queen of #TRYHARDs.

Whatever though, good on this #TRYHARD for getting a free ride.  I’m sure her parents are proud and relieved to know they won’t have to pay for schooling, and that they’ve got a child that will finagle an expensive piece of paper for free, and has demonstrated the ability to do a repetitive, monotonous task over and over again, like applying to mediocre colleges.  Can’t imagine the much more sky being the limit for these underwhelming expectations, but then again I also never finished college either, so I guess I should take my own advice and bow down to the queen (of #TRYHARDs).

Dad Brog (#132): Book title says it all

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Today, I sent my kids to bed without having eaten anything.  I gave them dinner and they flat out refused to even try a single bite of it, despite having tried it the night prior and finding it somewhat satisfactory to where I didn’t feel like a complete failure of a parent.  But today, they took one look at the food presented to them, voiced their displeasure, and refused to eat it.

So I cleaned it up, and they didn’t eat a thing for the remainder of their day.  #1 started trolling around in the kitchen phishing for something to eat, and told me she was hungry, but I calmly explained to her that she did not eat dinner when it was presented to her, that this was a tough lesson to not disrespect the food that I do present to her, even with possible incentives of dessert if they eat well enough.

It kills my soul to deny them food when they’re hungry, but at the same time, I think about the maddening frustration I feel when they turn their noses up at the meals I make for them like defiant little shits.  So today I decided to stay strong and stick with my decision, and they went to bed, probably hungry.

Despite the fact that mythical wife told me to not get so stressed about food refusal, it’s easy for her to say considering I do the vast majority of cooking for the kids, and it’s hard to not take it personally being someone who puts a lot of effort into trying to provide homemade meals for my children, and also abhors the idea of wasting food.  It frustrates me tremendously, and I know this is something that many parents go through otherwise there wouldn’t be books like the above, but it still climbs the ranks of shit my kids do to drive me crazy.

But it’s not just food defiance lately that’s been frustrating daily, it’s just the defiance in general that sometimes gets me upset when it compounds repeatedly throughout a day.  I’m already overworked and handle the lion’s share of parenting, and when things get to a point where I could really use a timeout but can’t because I’m on double duty because I don’t have enough help, my days tend to go to ruin and my head goes into some dark places sometimes.

It goes without saying that I could use a break, but circumstances haven’t necessarily made such a possibility, so I just exist here festering and getting worse when things go poorly.  My fuses get shorter, and I lose my cool faster and I just want a break but it feels like everyone else around me seems to get them except for me, and I feel like I’m taken for granted again and feeling shitty about it.

Like I’m so locked into being in dad mode, that I feel like the me that existed before kids is completely dead, or at least dormant to the point of not knowing how to bring it back.  Whenever I do have a little bit of time to not be a dad, it’s always not enough time to where I can deprogram myself from being concerned about doing dad things, and I just end up squandering it and know I squandered it, which propagates the downward spiral of falling back into states of depression.

But seriously, if I were suddenly able to have a stretch where I didn’t have to worry about my kids, worry about my house descending further into chaos, worry about their meals, their care or anything else, I don’t know the fuck I’d do.  I have no hobbies anymore, I have no interest in video games, reading books is harder for me to do these days because I’m in such a general sleep deficit that no matter how interesting a book is, I still get tired by the act of it that I can’t really accomplish any productive reading anymore. 

Traveling is expensive and I’m always too cognizant of bills and expenses that I just don’t want to go into debt for just my own indulgences.  I don’t want to pretend to be a foodie again because I’m well past 40 now, and eating anything makes me feel like I’m gaining 8 lbs a meal and that I’ll look bad in my clothes.

So basically all I ever do with any free time is watch television or write in a brog nobody on earth reads because I don’t have the time to do anything more substantial in my life right now, and I’m basically in the mother of hold patterns until my kids are old enough to be self-sufficient and I’m trying my hardest on a regular basis to not keep falling into pits of despair.

Or maybe I’ve just had a bad day.  Either way, I could use a break, a real one, but I don’t see that happening any time soon, either.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Just 17??

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Sós: Westlake High senior accepted into 17 colleges, amassing over $1M in combined scholarship offers

I’m convinced the only thing students are taught at Westlake High is how to apply to colleges, and once they become proficient at it, it’s all they do every day at school.  Because this is the third time this #TRYHARDSZN that I’m dipping into a story about students at Westlake High who have been accepted into a large number of colleges; all of which have made sure to mention the aggregate dollar amount of scholarships they’ve been offered, which is typically the tell-tale sign that most of the schools they were accepted to aren’t really that prestigious.

But to review, we’ve had students that cleared 63 and 50 acceptances, and then one who cleared 50+, so a student “only” being accepted into 17 schools seems kind of booty in comparison, especially seeing as how in their insufferably terrible senior wall where all students humblebrag or be ashamed of how many or how little schools they’ve been accepted into, there were more than just a few that probably had 17+ acceptances posted on the wall.

However, doing the math, and clearing $1M in combined scholarships out of just 17 acceptances blows the fuck out of water compared to the other TRYHARDs of the SZN who needed 50+ schools to clear the $1M mark.  Which means that she’s gotten some substantially heavier ride offers from fewer schools than her peers at CollegeApp High.

One thing that is a little different about this #TRYHARD’s story is that she actually has a pick named, and isn’t just being mum about where she’s going to go because they’re still phishing out a free ride from somewhere; and it’s of all the schools in the country, she’s picking Notre Dame.

I respect the ambition and the absolute get-the-fuck-out-of-the-hood mentality she’s taking, but I have to imagine it’s going to be a tremendous amount of culture shock going up to South Bend.  Especially from southwest Atlanta, going to lily-white Indiana where the winters are going to be brutal and the number of black people is going to feel like she’s going to Norway.

But considering her successes with #TRYHARDing, she’ll probably be alright in the end.  Good on this one for actually stating intent to go somewhere remotely prestigious, and not just doing it for humblebragging attention.

Who needs Vegas when you can just go to Kroger?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I wish I had the imagination to make this shit up: South Fulton Kroger under scrutiny for basically opening a slot machine area inside of the store

I don’t even know where to begin with this.  It’s like a hungry lion jumping into a herd of gazelle but there are so many intriguing options that it’s hard to focus on just one, and they all get away and they go hungry, but in this case I don’t know what angle to start blabbing on about and this post is going to (already) turn into shit.

It’s funny though; I like Kroger as a company.  They used to be 24 hr. mostly until the pandemic so it was convenient to go whenever, and the bottom line was always that my dollars always stretched a little further at Kroger than say, Publix.  But ask anyone I know around here, and the general consensus is that Publix is a preferable grocer, because it feels cleaner and safer and more upscale in general, none of which I necessarily disagree with, but when I’m trying to stretch dollars, Kroger is still superior in that regard.

Granted, I still do the majority of my shopping at Publix, because there are literally two of them equidistant from my home and closer than the nearest Kroger and for daily needs and quick gets, time is money and distance wins out, but sometimes when I know I need to make a big trip, I’ll go out of my way and hit up Kroger, because at least where I am, they’re not as scuzzy as say, the ones in South Fulton are, which I am all too familiar with, seeing as how I lived there for 13 years.

But over the last few years, Kroger hasn’t done themselves any favors in the public eye, especially that of the one that resides over the Metro Atlanta area.  I mean, prior to getting hit with the Gentrification Bomb, we had Murder Kroger in the middle of the city, where at least three murders had occurred.  Then we had the Kroger in College Park that was accused of being racist for implementing a series of security vestibules that basically enclosed shoppers inside aisles to help deter theft.

And now we have a Kroger in South Fulton County that for some reason, has decided to put a miniature slot casino inside their store.  Prizes are not monetary, but they’re still slot machines all the same.  Like, my knee-jerk reaction is just to laugh at the sheer absurdity of such a wild idea, and just how flagrantly targeted it is at feeding into racial stereotypes and not even trying to hide it.

Like really, what the fuck business do slot machines have inside of a grocery store?  Even Las Vegas has steered away from the days of having rando slot machines in every gas station, CVS and restaurant, and you can go into a Smith’s or an Albertsons to get just your groceries and not be tempted to dump the remainder of your paycheck in some crappy Wild Cherry or Double Diamond machine.

But not this Kroger, who set up a loosely partitioned-off area with a few slot machines and some sad stools for people to really post up and get comfortable for a wallet-draining slot session.  And it’s at the front of the store, where it’s easy for people to come inside with the sole express of gambling away their money, instead of like Costco where they make you march all the way to the back of the store in order to get a $5 rotisserie chicken. 

Kroger Casino’s spot is where you’d see some other Kroger or Kroger-affiliated stores set up like a Subway, a Starbucks, or like eye glass repair or a tax prep kiosk; random conveniences meant to make you want to spend a little more time in the store to sway you to shop more on actual profit-making products.  But instead, it’s just a literal hole in the wall guarded solely by some portable plexiglass partitions with a sign on it that states one must be 18+ in order to play.

I’ve been to Krogers in the hood; maybe not this specific one, but I’ve been to some rough Krogers in South Fulton.  Usually against my better judgment, but the desire to save a buck or two, or sometimes they’re just conveniently on my route.  I don’t think for a minute that by the time I post this, there probably have already been at least 100 minors who have meandered into this section of the store without repercussion and drained at least $2,000 by now.  The store is definitely not going to spring extra for some fat slob with a fake badge and can of pepper spray to run security for this section, and it’s clear that the intent of Kroger is knowing that they will help create young gambling addicts, and by being in existence, help pad their own bottom lines at the expense of the poor and vulnerable.

As sad as this all is, and the painfully obvious message that it’s sending, all I can do is laugh about it.  It’s fucked up, but I still find it absolutely hilarious.  Kroger is in the making money businesses, and there clearly no moral or ethical boundaries in place if they have an idea that can make them some, and they’re absolutely not at all concerned over the optics of choosing stores in the hood of hoods to pilot such an idea out.

Next thing we know, there will be some form of legalized prostitution brought to you by Kroger, where customers can walk up to a different loosely partitioned section of the store, scan your Kroger Plus Card, and then chat with some store employee in a blue Kroger polo shirt about wanting to get 30 minutes with Kayla, before going into a makeshift brothel like in Taken to get your jollies off.

And of course, this would pilot in Forest Park, or Covington, Georgia, because the seedier the idea, the deeper into the hood they need to be piloted in.  Fresh for everyone!™

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Why no Harvard or Yale??

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Nước chấm: Vietnamese teenager accepted into 14 US colleges, including three Ivy Leagues: Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth

My knee-jerk reaction to this story was to channel my inner high-expectation Asian dad voice and exclaim, why not Harvard or Yale??  Penn, Cornell and Dartmouth might be Ivies, but they’re the Ivies that people have to Google to refresh their awareness that they’re also in the Ivy League, along with Brown.  Asian dads only know Harvard, Yale and Princeton, in that order, and a failure to be accepted into any of those schools, with a full ride is nothing short of colossal disappointment.

But in all seriousness, this is a TRYHARD that gives me a happy feeling.  As an actual dad to half-Asian daughters, it brings me joy to read a story about an Asian girl who can TRYHARD with the best of all the TRYHARDs in the world, and get accepted into a fuckton of American schools.

Amused, I am to see that among the Ivies, she was also accepted into Northwestern, North Carolina, and of course, Georgia Tech.  Perhaps there’s more to Georgia Tech’s academic pedigree than I care to give them credit for, behind my shit-colored glasses that I see them for their athletics first.

What I like about Asian news outlets is that they’re not as shy and mum about talking about money, and as a result, it’s impressive to see that among the acceptances, Dartmouth was also willing to pony up $280K for this TRYHARD’s admittance; according to Google, over four years, that could cover at least tuition, leaving her on the hook probably for just housing, food and books, which means she’ll only be responsible for $80 billion.

But in the true spirit of TRYHARD culture, this girl’s resume is pretty damn deep; a 1560 SAT, multitude of awards, accolades, self-taught English, spoken at a gifted level, and multiple independent study/research projects, as well as being a self-taught musician.  This is the kind of daughter that Asian dads probably dream about.

All the same, glad to see some girls of Asian blood finally get on the board in the game of TRYHARDing.  After keeping tabs on the SZN, there’ve been some patterns that seem a little too obvious, and with Ivy Day in play, it’s nice to see the American dream of DEI finally spreading the wealth a little bit in TRYHARDSZN.

A work story that made me happy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Today, I used the above wrestling gif in a work group chat thread, and it was 100% topical and relevant to the conversation that we were having.

I can’t remember the last time I felt more satisfied in my professional life.

Shoutout to the company for not putting a purchase limit on an on-sale item and not anticipating that an ambitious customer would literally purchase 600 of them and completely derail an entire promotion. 

We’ve already found their eBay listing, re-selling them at a profitable price point, but there’s nothing the company can do about it, except marvel at one man’s entrepreneurial spirit.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: No better way to celebrate Ivy Day success with McD’s

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

McSauce: Connecticut teenager accepted into three Ivy League schools, among “other prestigious colleges”

Honestly, the most astounding thing about this story is that this is the first #TRYHARD that I’ve come across that isn’t just white, but is also a white female.  This isn’t meant to be a sexist remark, but for whatever reason, there doesn’t seem to be many stories come TRYHARDSZN that involve white people in general, much less white females.

I guess considering the demographics of the majority of TRYHARDs, we’re hitting a saturation point where suddenly white people are becoming the minority, especially when it comes to acceptances into Ivy League schools.

It’s no more prevalent than when the article tries to extol all the qualifications of why the TRYHARD deserves to get into an egregious amount of schools, there’s practically nothing.  Vague on extracurriculars, no dropping names of activities she’s done, no SAT scores, no GPA listed, and the only tangible thing mentioned are the 11 AP classes she took, which honestly is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to any high schooler wanting to go to college these days.

When it comes the deluge of college applications Ivy League schools receive every applicationSZN, they’re probably all minorities; mostly Asians, no less.  I bet they have people combing through all the applications and looking for obvious Hispanic and black applicants to meet their quotas, and at some point they realize just how few white applicants they’re getting, and start filtering for them in a panic, so they can be true to their claim for having diverse student bodies and populations.

Regardless, I like how this TRYHARD was waiting to get food at McDonald’s when she found out she had been accepted into Harvard, Yale and Columbia.  In various places in America are some really salty Asian parents whose kids with 1500+ SATs, 4.5 GPAs and Honda Odysseys full of extracurriculars and electives whose kids won’t be getting into Harvard or Yale.

I wonder if she proceeded to get her more than likely 10 pc. McBoots and fries after finding out she was accepted into these schools, or if the excitement of acceptance made her forget about her appetite?  If the former, her digestive system probably thanks her, but if not, she and her sister were undoubtedly celebrating her good news with a healthy game of Battle Shits; I hear it’s a popular game amongst white girls at Ivy League schools.