In the absence of god

I was raised Catholic, and I went to church every Sunday for pretty much most of my entire childhood. Naturally, as most things we’re forced to do as children, I disliked it, and resented it.

When I turned sixteen, and had my drivers license, my parents gave me the freedom to drive myself to church on Sundays.  That lasted all about maybe three weeks before I realized that I could very easily skip church, and go be a rebellious teenager instead.

Aside from a few weddings, and special occasions, I haven’t set foot in church since.

But lately, the thought of sitting somewhere quiet and seemingly holy for just a few minutes doesn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

I think I have a better understanding of why people do the whole religion thing.  And unfortunately, it takes monumental woes and hardships for us non-believers to see it too.

Not that I’m going to drop everything and start going back to church every Sunday, but I guess what I’m saying is that I can see why people worship, just  a little bit.

When people no longer have the answers, nor can they actually find anyone who does, an alternative means of having hope, is to turn to religion.

How this relates to me, is that obviously, something difficult is going on in my life right now.  No, this isn’t the typical garbage I’ve been dealing with in the past year, that the Braves suck, my job sucks, I don’t have enough money, I’m ronery, etc.

It’s much worse, much bigger, and vastly more important than everything else I can possibly complain about. And it creates questions and scenarios that I have no idea how to deal with.  And in times like this, honestly, I don’t know where else to turn to.  I can’t say that I can envision myself going back to church; I know they’re all about being the place of forgiveness and such, but it’s just not my place to seek out selfish agenda.

But a prayer for my hopes and wishes doesn’t sound like a bad idea, and those in my life could use some good thoughts as well.

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