This is not how business is conducted

There is this guy at my office that doesn’t like me.  Now I’m not saying that in that teenage kind of way in which I’m just speculating, because I have every reason to believe that this guy just does not like me.  He’s significantly older than I am, and kind of symbolizes the old world.  He was once in a position of managerial power, but was demoted at some point.  My peers here who remember his regime of management cite that he was the utmost of micro-managers, and describe the kind of authority that would have made me quit, had I been present during that time.

But anyway, it’s very obvious he doesn’t care much for me.  On the hierarchy of the office, he and I are essentially on the same plateau, and that has to bother him a great deal.  He has his own office solely based on tenure, but the truth of the matter is that doesn’t really do much different work than I do; if anything at all, he gets more shit work than I do.  But if that’s not enough justification, the fact that he won’t ever look me in the eye, and on several instances, in the office and at the one out-of-town work conference I attended, he flat out refused to get on the same elevator as I was on.  As in, he is waiting for an elevator, but when he sees me show up, he will not board the elevator if it means having to share it with me alone, and will blatantly stand put and wait for the next one.

No matter, I don’t particularly care for him either.  I think he’s a petty, meddling, obsolete, micro-managing, corporate stooge, but I don’t really care of him enough to warrant any ill-will.  I just think he’s kind of an old nobody, but who has tenure with this company, so I shouldn’t expect to see him go away any time soon.

Anyway, it was an interesting occurrence recently that has forced him to have to communicate with me, and I realize that aside from being the stooge he is, he’s also kind of a Jew.

A few months ago, we got this brand new printer in the office.  It’s fast, does all sorts of cool things that nobody has really retained the knowledge to use, but the nicest thing is that it’s fast.  It’ll spit out my 74 page documents in under a minute, full color, double-sided.  However, there’s been one problem about the printer that not just me, but several other people have noted, and has caused some people to straight up avoid it outright: it prints too dark.

Recently, I had a project where my proofs were noticeably unsightly compared to how they were supposed to turn out by virtue of the new printer.  My boss noticed this, and informed the micro-managing Jew to come speak to me about it, and to order a technician to come out and re-calibrate the printer so that it printed, well, accurately.  An entire day went by where micro-managing Jew didn’t come speak to me.  The next day, my boss came to my desk with micro-managing Jew in tow, and basically handed him off to me, to which was the first time in my 18 months here he has directly engaged me in discussion.

Micro-managing Jew’s solution?  Instead of ordering a tech to come and calibrate the printer, he suggested it would be best if I basically accepted the printer and its current performance for what it is, and to use a swatch book to retroactively seek out an alternate color to replace in my native files, so that it looks more accurate to source when we print it.  Never mind the fact that I’m dealing with reputable companies with very established, strict and unbendable identities, colors, guidelines and standards that I’m supposed to adhere to.

Hmm, that’s an interesting way of getting around that,” was my only response, mostly to get him out of my presence.  Somewhere along the line he forgot that what I do on is strictly front-end work; anything finalized is printed externally, and from printers that are typically calibrated and accurate.

Altering colors for the sake of accurate proofs at the expense of inaccurate final products is not how we do business.  Needless to say, I have not changed any of my native files, and he has not called anyone to come and calibrate an inaccurate printer. To no surprise, he has not followed up in any fashion, because that would require engaging me in interaction again.  In the end, the printer issue has not been solved, and I have even less regard for this micro-managing, petty-minded Jew.

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