What the fuck is wrong with the Japanese?

A French restaurant in Tokyo is essentially serving dirt. And charging upwards of the equivalent of $110 to do so!  What the fuck is wrong with Japanese people?

Seriously, it’s hard to imagine that this is like one of those situations like lobsters, where lobsters were once the food of the poor, but then was turned into the epitome of high-class dining by some talented chefs.  It’s fucking dirt.  You know what people eat in North Korea because their dictatorship hoards all the edible food for the regime?  DIRT.  It doesn’t matter how much they describe it as “natural and pure,” it’s still shit from the ground that’s part volcanic ash, part excrement, part decayed organic matter, and all well, DIRT.  There’s no lower denigrating terms to describe than what it already is, it’s fucking dirt.

I get that foodies and snobs want unique and exclusive, but you really have to ask yourself if the pursuit of such exclusivity is worth getting to the point of where you’re eating dirt.  It doesn’t matter how you spin it, as long as dirt is being spooned or forked into your mouth, YOU ARE EATING DIRT.  The stuff that dogs bury their shit in.  The stuff that humans bury dead humans in.  The stuff that people put great efforts into removing from your homes, your clothing and your skin.  Lobster sprinkled with dirt from the Kanto region?  You’re still eating dirt.  Filet mignon with a touch of herbs, seasonings and dirt from the Kansai district?  You’re still eating dirt.

Know what?  There’s really nothing more I can say on the matter, because this really is kind of one of those bottomed-out situations that can’t be beaten into the ground much further.  The Japanese and all their mindless Weeaboo sheep can enjoy eating their fucking dirt along with their tentacle porn, human-sized anime body pillows and used panty vending machines, I’m just going hang out here in the United States and eat some, y’know, food.

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