Acronym fail, among other fails

I’ve noticed this particular billboard on my way to work in the mornings over the last few days.  Initially, I thought about how much of a failure it was that there was absolutely zero explanation to what “YMCMB” stood for, but considering that we’re in Atlanta, the particular location of this billboard often leans towards blatant black-power messages; I figured it was just another poorly-veiled “black people are better than you non-blacks” propaganda message.

But for what it’s worth, I’ve driven past it enough, and it visually stuck enough to the point where has piqued my curiosity to Google it, so in a way they have gotten a tiny measure of victory from their advertisement.  Unfortunately, it also verifies a lot of what I theorized it was and has subsequently become a topic for me to brog about.

So, when I Googled it, YMCMB doesn’t actually bring up any particular page or website on its own.  The first result is actually Urban Dictionary, which I’m willing to believe gives the actual meaning of the acronym (as well as some pretty funny alternates).  But this is what YMCMB stands for:

Young
Money
Cash
Money
Billionaires

I wish I were making this up, but apparently several other sites have this exact definition listed as well.  Yes, the acronym contains “Money” twice.  It’s like no-talent rappers who rhyme a word with itself, and try to play it off as being different by virtue of context.  But really, the acronym contains the word money twice.  That’s fucking hilarious.

And also really sad.  Because they’re supposedly CONTINUING TO TAKE OVER – with their shitty grammar.

So about six links in on the Google search for YMCMB there’s apparently a link from a URL called “ymcmbofficial.com,” which implies to me that they failed to get “ymcmb.com,” which is kind of a surprise because “ymcmb” looks more like a default ASCII-generated file name than an actual acronym, but that just goes to show how low-rent this idea actually is.

The funny part about the page is that it’s an entire website dedicated to solely YMCMB apparel.  That’s it; the website doesn’t actually explain what the acronym stands for, and it LITRALLY has nothing on it but apparel for purchase.  And it’s not even good apparel, because it’s not even a good logo.  Because it’s not really even a logo at all, it’s just LITRALLY the letters YMCMB in Impact font, printed on a litany of generic-colored pieces of sweats.  SWEATS.  As if black folk need to propagate any more stereotypes by having nothing but sweatpants and sweatshirts to wear.

The sad thing is that I actually expunged a few minutes researching beyond the surface of YMCMB, because I like to get a little bit of an understanding of the things I want to rip apart.  So, “Young Money,” which is also visible on the bottom left stands for Young Money Entertainment.  “Cash Money,” is for Cash Money Records, which is the core company which Young Money is actually a part of.  So by this logic, One company is lumped together with its parent company, and the word “Billionaires” is added at the tail end for no apparent reason other than to falsely present the idea that there are actually any billionaires involved in this whole clusterfuck.

What gets me though is the convoluted awareness of the YMCMB identity that there’s absolutely no association differentiation between YM, CM, and YMCMB.  In the grand hierarchy of properties and assets, CM is the only thing that matters, but they’re for whatever reason, muddying things up by throwing everything else into the pot along with it.  This is actually a perfect example of what happens when there are too many cooks in the kitchen.  But this is also what occurs when there’s nobody next to the kitchen doors to actually examine and check the food before it goes out to the public.  Either that, or the person next to the kitchen doors are absolutely fucking retarded.

Back to the billboard, it’s comical to me that it implies that YMCMB is taking over anything at all.  I’ll give them music, despite the fact that today’s rap could hardly be considered music, and is a far, far, faaaaaaaar cry from the stuff that real rappers like Tupac or Public Enemy were capable of.  But with notable names like Lil’ Wayne, Drake and Nicki MiNichaelJackson, it’s debatable that they might actually have some foothold in the “music” aspect of their claim.

But fashion?  Really?  From a convoluted conglomerate of an organization that specializes in putting five letters of Impact font on sweat clothing, they’re championing some sort of victory within the world of fashion?  Has anyone seen what Nicki Minaj looks like?  There’s a reason why I called her “MiNichaelJackson.”  I’ve never seen anyone so blatantly trying to be the black Lady GaGa, and failing so miserably at it.  And Drake?  Is he even black?  It’s like that scene in Harold and Kumar, where Kumar is berating a light-skinned black TSA agent, and claiming to be darker than he is, and calling him Matthew Perry.  I’m pretty sure Kumar is darker than Drake.  Shit, I think I probably have more CMYK pigmentation in my skin than Drake does.  So he might actually be of African descent, but Drake looks like a wigger, sorry it’s true.  And all wiggers fail at fashion, true fact.

Books: Sorry YM, CM, or YMCMB, inserts in CDs don’t really count as books.  A quick Amazon search of the terms “Young Money,” “Cash Money” or “YMCMB” brings up absolutely zero results that pertain to any of these things.  Even if Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Drake or any of their low-rent performers have made any fluff books, it’s YMCMB’s fault for not putting their names actually on it.  Fail.

But my favorite is “THE LIFE,” which is also in red, as if it’s supposed to have any emphasis on it.  What does it even mean?  YMCMB is taking over THE LIFE?  Does that mean that this convoluted conglomerate is taking over the lives of every person?  Or is it just all black people?  I don’t get it!  How does any one thing take over, the life???

So, all in all, the billboard I see every morning is advertising absolutely nothing at all.  Except maybe some non-descript sweats.  YMCMB barely exists at all, due to a convoluted definition and poor execution of attempting to create a global multimedia conglomerate.  Seriously, the fictional name “Prestige Worldwide” from Step Brothers probably carries more weight than YMCMB does.  But in spite of barely existing, YMCMB also manages to falsely champion achievements that it hasn’t accomplished, and for whatever reasons other than false bravado, declare some person(s), place(s) or thing(s) as billionaires.

It’s because I’m not black that I don’t get any of this, right?

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