{"id":33635,"date":"2012-07-16T22:57:20","date_gmt":"2012-07-17T02:57:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=33635"},"modified":"2020-07-01T22:57:43","modified_gmt":"2020-07-02T02:57:43","slug":"if-i-ruled-the-world-5233","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=33635","title":{"rendered":"If I ruled the world #5,233"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"border-image alignnone wp-image-33636 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/stairsyoufatfuck.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"490\" height=\"275\" srcset=\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/stairsyoufatfuck.jpg 490w, http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/stairsyoufatfuck-300x168.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 490px) 100vw, 490px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">Elevators would be prohibited to stop just one floor.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">It agitates me greatly when I\u2019m just trying to get to my floor, and the elevator abruptly stops on floor two, and then an asshole gets on and pushes the button to go to floor three.\u00a0 Or vice-versa, while going down.\u00a0 Actually slightly more, while going down.\u00a0 More than agitation, it\u2019s really sad.\u00a0 The elevator for just one floor?\u00a0 Yeah, that should be illegal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">I have to imagine many people are aware of this too.\u00a0 Otherwise, you wouldn\u2019t get those people who make sheepish remarks and the insincere \u201csorry\u201d with a bashful smirk on their face.\u00a0 Don\u2019t apologize, stop being so lazy and go take the fucking stairs.\u00a0 It\u2019s\u00a0<em>just<\/em>\u00a0one floor.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">Obviously, I would be remiss if I didn\u2019t acknowledge that there\u00a0<em>are<\/em>\u00a0a few people out there that have legitimate excuses, being handicapped, amputees, paraplegics, etc, etc.\u00a0 To these people, I would decree that they would have key cards that allowed the exception of one-floor stoppage, but only them.\u00a0 And those who tried to abuse the privilege and tried to get out with them, I would like to see the super-lasers from the\u00a0<em>Resident Evil<\/em>\u00a0movies engage promptly after the handicapped person got off the elevator to deter any lazy fucks from sneaking through at the risk of unfortunate amputations.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">The saddest thing is that if this shit were true, I\u2019m fairly positive that there would be people who would be degenerate enough to deliberately go up three floors, and then go down two floors, just to get around taking the stairs.\u00a0 At the very first instance of this kind of abuse, I would adjust that elevators automatically return to the ground level after its highest ascent by default, and would-be abusers would have to wait to summon the elevator back up.\u00a0 And then, I\u2019d decree that all elevators only go down to the ground floor, unless coincidentally summoned by someone else who happens to be going down, which provides the only remaining opportunity for a lazy fuck to be a lazy fuck.\u00a0 Because seriously, going\u00a0<em>down<\/em>\u00a0stairs is nothing, and if you have qualms with that, you really shouldn\u2019t deserve to live.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Elevators would be prohibited to stop just one floor. It agitates me greatly when I\u2019m just trying to get to my floor, and the elevator abruptly stops on floor two, and then an asshole gets on and pushes the button to go to floor three.\u00a0 Or vice-versa, while going down.\u00a0 Actually slightly more, while going &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=33635\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">If I ruled the world #5,233<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[45,120,15,25,49],"class_list":["post-33635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-fail","tag-fat-people","tag-og","tag-technology","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=33635"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33637,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33635\/revisions\/33637"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=33635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=33635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=33635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}