![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vainkoreanchick.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
My mom\u2019s convinced that at some point, I promised her that I would marry a Korean girl by the age of 30.\u00a0 I can\u2019t really say I recollect making such a ludicrous promise, but regardless my mom badgers me about it just about every time we speak on the phone.\u00a0 She knows that I\u2019m not really into Korean chicks let alone Asian chicks in general; all jokes aside about me being Korean as burritos are, and being an mega-Twinkie\/banana, I\u2019m just not.\u00a0 Maybe the right one(s) has never come along to spark any interest, and break the walls, or maybe it\u2019s the fact that I grew up surrounded by Korean women, so it\u2019s like this awkward family complex I have towards other Korean girls in general.<\/span><\/p>\n No matter, she gives me the old-world spiel about how she wants to see me get married to a Korean girl before, of course, she dies.\u00a0 Obviously no good son really wants to see his mother die at any point at all, but we\u2019ve had discussions before on the importance of her happiness for her, and my happiness for myself.\u00a0 Clearly, there\u2019s a conflict of interest here.\u00a0 She wants a Korean daughter-in-law that will birth my heir and give her yet more grandchildren, and then become a subservient caregiver while she lives out the rest of her lives in my home, or something along those lines, right out a circa-1990s Korean drama VHS tape that Korean moms and grandmas would trade and rent and watch for endless hours.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n During one of our more recent conversations, I asked my mom how she\u2019d feel if I found a Korean girl I could trust to not bleed me, or probably, necessitate signing a pre-nuptial, and went all Britney Spears, and had a farce of a marriage that lasted like two days, but most importantly, my mom could witness what she wanted; me getting married to a Korean girl.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember the exact words, but it went kind of along the lines of \u201cas long as you get married to a Korean girl and I see it happen,\u201d so as far as I\u2019m concerned, the idea is green-lit.<\/span><\/p>\n I \u201cjoke\u201d about this, but this idea actually kind of kills two birds with one stone, as far as I\u2019m concerned.\u00a0 One, it fulfills the expectations thrust upon me by my mom.\u00a0 And two, I occasionally \u201cjoke\u201d about how I should seek and pursue a starter wife in general, because I\u2019m jaded and I think that so many peoples\u2019 first marriages seem to end up in shambles and ultimately divorce, because frankly the divorce rate in the country is around 40-50% depending on whom you ask.\u00a0 Getting that first marriage out of the way early; well, relatively speaking, since I\u2019m not getting any younger, but knocking it out sooner, rather than later, leaves the door open in life, to pursue the second, and hopefully last marriage that is also hopefully, more successful.\u00a0 And why wouldn\u2019t it be?\u00a0 I could always use the comparisons to \u201cthe ex-wife\u201d to satiate the newer, more appealing wife\u2019s ego, and make me seem like some sort of monumental catch in the process.\u00a0 \u201cOh ___, you\u2019re way hotter than my ex-wife.\u00a0 It\u2019s no comparison.\u00a0 She was such a prude\/bitch\/high-maintenance.\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe I was married to her.\u00a0 Thank god I met you<\/em>.\u201d Etcetera, etcetera.<\/span><\/p>\n So there we have it.\u00a0 My brilliant plan.\u00a0 Now I suppose I should start putting the wheels in motion, and start putting a call out to the world that I need a Korean starter wife.\u00a0 No legitimate feelings, actions, or emotions necessary, just someone I can trust for a week, someone willing to sign a pre-nup to not screw me out of my scant assets afterwards, and someone who can kiss up to my mom for a week and make her feel like I made the best decision of my life.\u00a0 I\u2019d return the favor in all aspects, naturally.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My mom\u2019s convinced that at some point, I promised her that I would marry a Korean girl by the age of 30.\u00a0 I can\u2019t really say I recollect making such a ludicrous promise, but regardless my mom badgers me about it just about every time we speak on the phone.\u00a0 She knows that I\u2019m not … Continue reading Seeking a Korean starter wife<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[71,103,15,91,138],"class_list":["post-34190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-famiry","tag-motherland","tag-og","tag-pf","tag-wedding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34190"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34193,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34190\/revisions\/34193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}