{"id":35428,"date":"2013-03-14T01:18:54","date_gmt":"2013-03-14T05:18:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=35428"},"modified":"2020-07-05T01:19:07","modified_gmt":"2020-07-05T05:19:07","slug":"ive-been-in-a-funk-lately","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=35428","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019ve been in a funk lately"},"content":{"rendered":"

And I\u2019ve got a pretty short fuse, and just about everything in the world is agitating me lately.<\/span><\/p>\n

I could go into further detail, but the effort required to formulate my thoughts into words to describe how much work is sucking lately, and how much it sucks to think about what it\u2019s going to be like the next time go up to Virginia to visit family just seems so exasperating.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s also one of those periods of time when I feel kind of isolated from the world, and that there\u2019s really nobody around that I feel comfortable speaking with who\u2019s remotely available to speak with when I need it.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I think I surprise myself at how much duress I\u2019m putting myself under over the impending divorce of my parents, and that despite the fact that I rationally know it\u2019s none of the circumstances that turn teenagers into inexcusable fuckwads, it still perturbs me that my family is on the verge of becoming a broken one.\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to distract myself by planning baseball trips and things that should be fun, but so often times my plans route through Virginia, and with my parents split up, it\u2019s like I don\u2019t really have a reliable place to crash when I\u2019m up there.\u00a0 Stay at my old home with my shut-in dad, or stay with my mom who is likely being babysat by my nosy and lecturing aunts who will probably slander my dad in front of me and say a whole lot of things that I really don\u2019t want to listen to.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s also a part of me that is afraid that I could possibly end up like my dad at some point in my life.\u00a0 Now I know the likelihood of that is less with the friendships and relationships that I\u2019ve cultivated throughout my life, but I have to admit that when I\u2019m by myself, bored and left to my own thoughts, it\u2019s not always the best thing.\u00a0 The same could probably be said about my dad, who took those circumstances to extremes to which is why we\u2019re in the situation we\u2019re in right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

Either way, all of the above lately has apparently taken a bigger toll on me than I thought it could.\u00a0 I feel a little emotionally downtrodden lately, and I think there\u2019ve been some cracks in my armor lately that has led to some irrational behavior out of me.\u00a0 Things that wouldn\u2019t upset me have been upsetting me, and I\u2019ve strayed from lines of thinking that had been pretty good at keeping me grounded over the last few years.<\/span><\/p>\n

I look forward to nothing, and very little uplifts me beyond brief moments at a time lately.\u00a0 I understand that I\u2019m depressed, and it doesn\u2019t really feel like anything is in my control right now.\u00a0 That part is what really sucks.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And I\u2019ve got a pretty short fuse, and just about everything in the world is agitating me lately. I could go into further detail, but the effort required to formulate my thoughts into words to describe how much work is sucking lately, and how much it sucks to think about what it\u2019s going to be … Continue reading I\u2019ve been in a funk lately<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,71,15,65,27],"class_list":["post-35428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-famiry","tag-og","tag-travel","tag-virginia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35428"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35429,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35428\/revisions\/35429"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}