{"id":42602,"date":"2016-08-15T23:45:28","date_gmt":"2016-08-16T03:45:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=42602"},"modified":"2020-07-22T23:45:39","modified_gmt":"2020-07-23T03:45:39","slug":"the-chork-is-chucking-stupid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=42602","title":{"rendered":"The chork is chucking stupid"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Impetus<\/a>: Panda Express considers using chorks at their restaurants; in other news, chorks exist, as a bastardized hybrid between a fork and chopsticks<\/span><\/p>\n

First, chuck Panda Express.\u00a0 They\u2019re the chucking worst.\u00a0 How does one describe being the KFC of Chinese food when they\u2019re already on the same echelon of the genre?\u00a0 I want to say Chinese culinary experts of the past would be rolling in their graves at the idea of fast food Chinese, but there\u2019s a strange cycle of irony that a culture of cheaters, counterfeiters and lacking integrity or respect for copyrights is having their country\u2019s food being bastardized and essentially counterfeited for fat American capitalistic profit.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the creation of the chork?\u00a0 I\u2019m chucking chlabbergasted by such an abomination.\u00a0 They\u2019re basically a shitty fork on one end, and the worst pair of tweezers in the world on the other end, presumably trying poorly to simulate chopsticks.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

If anyone thinks shit like chorks or training chopsticks will actually get people to want to learn how to use actual chopsticks, they\u2019re chucking delusional.\u00a0 Learning how to use chopsticks requires actual chopsticks, and it\u2019s kind of like riding a bike; some practice is required, but once it\u2019s learned, it\u2019s not a capability that just vanishes.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s kind of an insult that shit like the chork was even invented.\u00a0 Imagine if the execution were done in reverse, and chorks were dropped in Asian countries where use of chopsticks was commonplace.\u00a0 Not only would the chopstick portion not work very well, all the chinks would grow frustrated at the fork\u2019s inability to actually pick up things like nuts, hard vegetables, or how they mangle fish.\u00a0 They\u2019d further believe Americans were barbaric eaters with no dexterity in their hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

The bottom line is chuck the chork, and if Panda Express does indeed choose to roll with them, chuck them even more than they already are chucked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be a fork, be chopsticks, or be nothing.\u00a0 Zero stars.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Impetus: Panda Express considers using chorks at their restaurants; in other news, chorks exist, as a bastardized hybrid between a fork and chopsticks First, chuck Panda Express.\u00a0 They\u2019re the chucking worst.\u00a0 How does one describe being the KFC of Chinese food when they\u2019re already on the same echelon of the genre?\u00a0 I want to say … Continue reading The chork is chucking stupid<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[131,45,56,89,49],"class_list":["post-42602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-branding","tag-fail","tag-food","tag-racism","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42602","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=42602"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42602\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42604,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42602\/revisions\/42604"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=42602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=42602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=42602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}