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Normally, I don\u2019t often state my travel plans, fearing for jinxes or security vulnerabilities involving my home or belongings.\u00a0 But lack of brog, etc, etc, no worries about anyone reading this until way after the fact.<\/span><\/p>\n But I\u2019m going to Korea in a few days, and I\u2019m undoubtedly excited to visit the Motherland, but at the same time I feel a tremendous amount of anxiety and concern for the home I\u2019m leaving behind while I\u2019m on travel.\u00a0 Some of them are valid things to worry about while I\u2019m away like my outstanding assignments are in good places for my co-workers, the health and well-being of those I care about, the safety of my home and my dog.\u00a0 Or the perpetually escalating tensions between North and South Korea and the United States\u2019 involvement, leading to some military firepower demonstrations from all sides this fucking week of all times, seem like something to fret a little bit about.<\/span><\/p>\n Some are less valid, like that I\u2019m perpetually forgetting something, and no matter if I make lists, check and recheck the things I\u2019m packing, I always feel like I\u2019m forgetting something.\u00a0 I mean, all I really need is clothes, toiletries, my passport, comfortable footwear, cell phone and my camera, and I should be mostly all set.\u00a0 But I stare into my suitcase, and I\u2019m 100% convinced that something critical and important is being forgotten, and it\u2019s going to drive me nuts until I\u2019m at the point where it would be too late anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n But the most irrational of anxieties I feel, is the feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out) of all the things that will inevitably be happening in the States while I\u2019m away.\u00a0 Like, I\u2019m going to Korea, and visiting the country where my parents are from; I\u2019m going to see all sorts of new and amazing things, historical, cultural and whatnot, and there\u2019s a part of me that\u2019s butthurt because I won\u2019t be able to indulge in television shows like American Horror Story<\/em> or Luke Cage<\/em> when they\u2019re fresh and new, and I\u2019ll be two weeks behind when I get the opportunity to indulge.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n However, I can\u2019t really help it.\u00a0 Being abroad is undoubtedly an amazing experience that I\u2019m sure I will not regret one bit, but at the same time, it gives me a feeling of being away from my people<\/em>, unable to indulge in the same things, current and fresh, as all my peers.<\/span><\/p>\n Like, I\u2019ll be missing out on watching the start of Worlds with mythical gf; but I will be in Korea<\/em>, where League of Legends <\/em>is pretty much one of the nation\u2019s primary sports.\u00a0 Speaking of sports, I\u2019ll be missing out on the Braves\u2019 last games at Turner Field, and most of the baseball playoffs while I\u2019m still abroad, which isn\u2019t that <\/em>important to me considering the Braves have already failed to lose 100 games, but not having the option, is not appealing.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s stupid and irrational, I\u2019m very much aware, but it\u2019s something I can\u2019t deny that I feel.\u00a0 It\u2019s somewhat nice to enjoy similar things as those around me, when they are, and when I put myself into a position where I don\u2019t even have the option, it kind of irks at me.\u00a0 Like the packing, this is inevitably a concern that vanishes once I\u2019m on the vacation, but whenever I do look at stuff on like Facebook, then it\u2019s a reminder of the things I\u2019m missing back home.<\/span><\/p>\n Whatever though, this isn\u2019t to say that I\u2019m not excited about Korea.\u00a0 I am enthralled with the idea of seeing Seoul, and it\u2019s blend of historical monuments as well as their obsession with shopping centers.\u00a0 I want to go to places that look like I\u2019m in another country.\u00a0 I want to find nationalistic clothing that I can obnoxiously brandish back in the States that have shit like \u201cKOREA\u201d in big blocky letters or some shit.\u00a0 And as silly as it sounds, I\u2019m actually really curious to see if I can play League on the Korean server, to see just how badly I\u2019d get shit on by actual Koreans playing in Korea.<\/span><\/p>\n And food, I want to eat all the Korean food.\u00a0 I know Seoul has a shit ton of food not foreign to Korea like TGI Fridays and other shitty chains from other countries.\u00a0 I want none of that shit.\u00a0 I want orange-hued jigaes from dirt-floor wooden shacks that look like the poverty dramas that my grandma used to watch for endless hours on stacks of VHS tapes, that pissed me off that I couldn\u2019t play Nintendo while she watched.<\/span><\/p>\n Ultimately though, this is a trip that I\u2019m making with my mother that is long overdue, and one of those things that I\u2019m grateful for the opportunity to do, before it can\u2019t be done.\u00a0 All anxieties aside, this is something that I will have no regrets about, and that I\u2019m glad that I\u2019m going to be able to get to do, regardless of whatever stresses and concerns I have on the home front.\u00a0 I will miss everyone that matters something to me while I\u2019m away, but I\u2019m going to do my best to not worry about them while I\u2019m away.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Normally, I don\u2019t often state my travel plans, fearing for jinxes or security vulnerabilities involving my home or belongings.\u00a0 But lack of brog, etc, etc, no worries about anyone reading this until way after the fact. But I\u2019m going to Korea in a few days, and I\u2019m undoubtedly excited to visit the Motherland, but at … Continue reading Irrational anxieties<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,71,103,65,166],"class_list":["post-43270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-famiry","tag-motherland","tag-travel","tag-vacation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=43270"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43270\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43272,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43270\/revisions\/43272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=43270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=43270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=43270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}