{"id":48662,"date":"2022-03-18T22:04:29","date_gmt":"2022-03-19T03:04:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=48662"},"modified":"2022-03-18T22:04:29","modified_gmt":"2022-03-19T03:04:29","slug":"star-wars-galaxys-edge-fails-at-first-impression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=48662","title":{"rendered":"Star Wars: Galaxy\u2019s Edge fails at first impression"},"content":{"rendered":"

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While mythical wife and I were down at Disney for #1\u2019s birthday, we earmarked one evening to go see Star Wars: Galaxy\u2019s Edge<\/em> at Hollywood Studios.\u00a0 Paid for the lightning lanes, made reservations at Oga\u2019s, etc.\u00a0 Capitalize on one evening away from parenting to see something with a monumental amount of hype behind it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I like Star Wars just fine.\u00a0 I\u2019ll admit I\u2019ve soured over the last few years because the fandom of the property has become insufferable and taints everything the IP produces, and I\u2019m over other fans and the property itself at invalidating my fandom because I happened to really like all of the novella in the past, like Timothy Zahn and Kevin J. Anderson\u2019s respective trilogies.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I like Star Wars enough to watch all the movies and Disney+ originals with expediency, and enjoy them as is without even trying to entertain the idea of seeing what others have to think on the internet.\u00a0 It works out best that way.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I was looking forward to visiting Galaxy\u2019s Edge, mostly to ride the new rides, as well as hoping I could maybe find some place that might sell reprints of the storyboard sketches from The Mandalorian<\/em> or Book of Boba Fett<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Conditions were great to have a good first impression; the Florida evening was not hot and not was rather pleasant. The lightning lane mythical wife paid for would help us avoid oppressive lines, and the park itself wasn\u2019t stupid crowded, going right at closing.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sure, there were like 97 Star Wars Kids<\/a> all flailing their egregiously priced custom lightsabers all over the place but that was almost to be expected when I learned that there was a place that people could build custom lightsabers.<\/span><\/p>\n

That practically had a velvet rope in front of, that required reservations for the honor to blow your money, and I guess I don\u2019t like Star Wars that<\/em> much at this juncture in my life to want one myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, the first ride which I don\u2019t remember off the top of my head and I don\u2019t feel like interrupting my writing flow to look up, but the one where a bunch of people play different roles in flying a ship, that was alright. It felt like a modernized, Star Wars skinned version of that one ride that used to be at Epcot where you drove a tank and it pushed you into your seats with sheer g-force.\u00a0 I got to be the Y-axis pilot, and I think I did a fairly okay job of not letting the ship crashing too many times.\u00a0 I bet it would be fun to be the weapons people, because all you do is spam unlimited ammo and try to shoot things.<\/span><\/p>\n

Walking around the \u201cscene\u201d was very cool, in the sense that a great amount of effort was made in set design to make it feel like you were like in Tattooine or something, I have no fuckin clue to what the actual setting is supposed to be.\u00a0 I wish we were there a little bit earlier in the day so that the stores would actually have remained open for us to have actually bought any souvenirs, but we\u2019ll get back to that in a sec.<\/span><\/p>\n

So Rise of the Resistance, which is supposedly the main attraction of the whole thing, mythical wife and I had our lightning lane pass, which probably saved us around 60 minutes wait time, and we beelined far ahead of everyone else.\u00a0 It starts off really cool and immersive, and I can feel the potential of the story of the ride as it starts off.\u00a0 And then we\u2019re captured, and an Imperial officer comes on and tells everyone to get off the ship, and you\u2019re looking at a hangar full of storm troopers, and I\u2019m thinking whoa, this is pretty fuckin cool.<\/span><\/p>\n

But then the line ceases to move, and unlike when it\u2019s just a clog of humanity and it\u2019s just a queue that needs to move, it turns out that the ride basically broke down.\u00a0 We actually became literal prisoners in the scenario, because it took 45 minutes for the operations crew to declare it a wash and to send people on their way, pissed off and with there likely being no way to get any sort of adequate compensation because Disney doesn\u2019t have to give anyone compensation because we\u2019re all fucking sheep whom if we don\u2019t come, then a ka-billion other people will in our place.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mind you it\u2019s regular park closing time when this occurs, so by the time we\u2019re back outside, everything in the entire park is closed, including any of the shops we were hoping to maybe get some souvenirs for our kids for.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Needless to say, I\u2019m very disappointed in the whole situation, because this was literally our final night on the trip, and we would be up less than six hours later to make our morning flight.\u00a0 We went to Oga\u2019s Cantina despite the fact that I probably would\u2019ve preferred not going, but we had reservations and had made it this far, might as well go.<\/span><\/p>\n

To its credit, it\u2019s a really cool setting, although I have no idea who Oga or the general narrative of this cantina is supposed to be and why it\u2019s so popular among Star Wars tryhards.\u00a0 All I know is that cool setting aside, it cost me $13 for what was basically a Killian\u2019s Irish Red, but that\u2019s Disney for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Overall, my first impression of Star Wars: Galaxy\u2019s Edge was shit.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t get to ride the main attraction, drinks at Oga\u2019s were overpriced, even for Disney standards, and unsurprising, it\u2019s not even close to delivering on the hype that people have blown into it since it was announced.<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, something else will emerge that will supplant Galaxy\u2019s Edge, and if I had to guess, it\u2019ll probably be related to Marvel, and then soon, Star Wars will be like the new Avatar, which everyone has apparently already forgotten about, despite it still being a tremendously beautiful experience over at Animal Kingdom.\u00a0 Maybe when that happens, I\u2019ll appreciate going over to Galaxy\u2019s Edge a little bit more, but until then, the first impression is a great big fucking meh-burger.<\/span><\/p>\n

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