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Guys who drive BMW motorcycles.\u00a0 There\u2019s a guy in the office that needs to let everyone know that he drives a BMW motorcycle, indicative by the way he\u2019s always wearing his fluorescent green BMW \u201cair shell\u201d jacket in the office, despite the fact that it\u2019s 87 degrees in the City of Atlanta right now.\u00a0 And the way he perches his fluorescent green BMW helmet on the edge of his desk, so that everyone who walks by or looks down the corridor can see it, like a beacon of douchiness in the office.\u00a0 I have to imagine that when he\u2019s in his full autocross get-up, he looks like a fucking lightning bug humping a football, or at least, like someone who ate something radioactive.<\/span><\/p>\n Needless to say, having been here for the last two months, I\u2019ve got a fairly good grasp of the people who work here, and most importantly for the sake of conversation, the people I don\u2019t really care for, and are capable of griping about in brog format.\u00a0 Furthermore, I\u2019ve been here long enough to where I now feel entitled to gripe about my job, more so than when I was here, greener than Lex Luger.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n For like the second time in as many weeks, I wouldn’t say \u201creprimanded<\/em>,\u201d but I\u2019ve been \u201cinformed<\/em>,\u201d that me having a Gmail window open is frowned upon by the higher ups.\u00a0 But \u201cthey understand<\/em>,\u201d because \u201ceveryone does it anyway<\/em>,\u201d but I should \u201ckeep that in mind<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 As a freelancer, my Gmail account is where I keep communication open through the agency in the first place, for when they have questions or status about my assignment(s), and for all intents and purposes, I have to let them know as well when I\u2019m not working, so there\u2019s no question if there are any gaps in days in my weekly timesheets.\u00a0 But for the most part, I\u2019m being reminded to ease off the web surfing so much\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n So with that in mind, what the fuck pray tell, should I be doing with my downtime?<\/span><\/p>\n Lord knows this place has plenty of work, but most certainly not enough to keep the likes of an efficient work horse like me busy for eight straight hours.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen every single person here on the internet at some point or another, looking at anything from Facebook, news websites, to their own personal emails, so I have to wonder if they\u2019re getting \u201creminders,\u201d as often as I am?\u00a0 I\u2019d be willing to bet that such is not the case, mostly for the fact that I\u2019m a lowly freelancer who lives and dies by the hours, and therefore I should be unlike human beings and be working for eight straight hours a day.\u00a0 With such sentiments in mind, I sit here brogging, because I can do that in the vanilla confines of Word, while Outlook is open, so that when nosy micromanager passerbys shuffle past and look at my screen, it just looks I\u2019m writing out the worlds\u2019 longest emails several times a day.<\/span><\/p>\n Which brings me to yet another office personality that I find quite fascinating, which is the guy I simply like to refer to as \u201cmicromanager.\u201d\u00a0 As I\u2019ve been informed about his status within the company, he\u2019s been demoted from a director\u2019s position, to god knows what, but the bottom line is that he\u2019s still got his own office, and wanders to and from the print room about a hundred times a day, and\u00a0loves<\/em>\u00a0to steal glances in my direction to see what I\u2019m doing.\u00a0 If I\u2019m a betting man, I have this guy pegged as someone who\u2019s mentioned my web surfing tendencies when the company is unable to keep me occupied long enough to where I can\u2019t be doing such.<\/span><\/p>\n He\u2019s such a pathetic guy.\u00a0 Think part Monopoly man, and part Perdue chicken guy, with a perpetually reddish hue to his skin.\u00a0 I can see in my peripheral vision every time he shuffles past me that his head is glancing at what\u2019s on my screen to make sure that I\u2019m working.\u00a0 I\u2019ve gotten to the point where I can fairly successfully predict his patterns of spying, because he\u2019s always printing shit to the color printer, which he has to walk past me in order to get to.\u00a0 I can hear the printer spooling, and then I quickly task out of any browsers, and go back to whatever dummy Illustrator document I have open at the moment to make it look like I\u2019m diligently working hard for when he shuffles by.<\/span><\/p>\n Definition micromanager who feels that I\u2019m an extravagant luxury on the department that the company would be financially better off not having.\u00a0 Never mind the cost of all his fake print jobs he prints just so he has an excuse to come spy on what I\u2019m doing.\u00a0 Never mind the fact that my presence has taken a huge burden off the two other designers here who suddenly have a lot more time on their hands to be more administrative, and actually do their own work, instead of the menial bullshit that this place is so adept at having in order to justify paying me to do it for them instead.<\/span><\/p>\n Overall, I guess if he\u2019s truly the only person here I couldn\u2019t give two shits about, this place isn\u2019t that bad at all.\u00a0 The suspected gay guy that sits behind me and that is always glancing at me with his beady eyes behind his horned-rim glasses is kind of annoying with his constant Jew change-counting habits, and his loud yawns, and as hypocritical of me to say it since I love them too, but he also loves to loudly crunch on Corn Nuts on a fairly regular basis.\u00a0 He\u2019s kind of obnoxious, but I\u2019ve worked with way worse.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s the BMW-biker-tool-guy, who\u2019s more just sad and ironically funny, than worth disliking.<\/span><\/p>\n Now that I think about it, this place is kind of ideal for a place with little distractions; there is not a single person here that I\u2019m aware has anything in common with me, and there is not a single female in this entire company that I find remotely attractive to get that vibe of awkward crush sexual tension with.\u00a0 In fact, there\u2019s really nobody at all that\u2019s really attractive here at all.\u00a0 From a professional standpoint of me coming in here and getting work done, this place really couldn\u2019t be any better.\u00a0 Very little distractions, and a good hourly rate means that I should stay here as long as I can.\u00a0 And from what I can tell, I\u2019m here at least until the start of July.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Guys who drive BMW motorcycles.\u00a0 There\u2019s a guy in the office that needs to let everyone know that he drives a BMW motorcycle, indicative by the way he\u2019s always wearing his fluorescent green BMW \u201cair shell\u201d jacket in the office, despite the fact that it\u2019s 87 degrees in the City of Atlanta right now.\u00a0 And … Continue reading What\u2019s douchier than people who drive BMW cars?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[72,37,83,15],"class_list":["post-29162","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-government","tag-job","tag-observations","tag-og"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29162","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29162"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29162\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29164,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29162\/revisions\/29164"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29162"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29162"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29162"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}