{"id":30772,"date":"2011-09-14T15:28:55","date_gmt":"2011-09-14T19:28:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=30772"},"modified":"2020-06-27T15:29:09","modified_gmt":"2020-06-27T19:29:09","slug":"strange-bathroom-antics-of-pre-wash-piss-jew-fro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=30772","title":{"rendered":"Strange Bathroom Antics of Pre-Wash Piss Jew-Fro"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s this guy on my floor that I occasionally see in the men\u2019s room. Normally, such encounters are negligible, and certainly not worth posting about, but this guy, I find quite puzzling.\u00a0 Obviously by the way he dresses and presents himself, and the fact that he doesn\u2019t look that old, I have to assume he\u2019s a college student, doing whatever college students are often doing in this building.\u00a0 He also has a big, exaggerated Jew-fro, and wears goofy lily white Forrest Gump-like sneakers, and the combination of such an appearance kind of sticks.\u00a0 He kind of looks like a thinner, younger version of the Jewish professor member of Team USA in\u00a0Beerfest<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

So in spite of such an identifiable appearance, the last thing a guy like him needs is idiocentric behavior that makes him arouse the suspicion of others, or maybe it\u2019s just me, or maybe I just feel like I need to have something to write about in order to pass the time.\u00a0 But as mentioned, I\u2019ve seen him in the men\u2019s room a few times, as it\u2019s one of the few common places that one might randomly encounter others.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll cut to the chase \u2013 this guy washes his hands first, and then proceeds to do his business.\u00a0 Cue me tilting my head ever-so slightly, like a dog when it hears something piercing and unusual.\u00a0 That\u2019s fine and all, if he wants to have his hands nice and pristine before handling his junk, but on more than one instance, I\u2019ve noticed that he doesn\u2019t wash his hands afterward.\u00a0 He may have the cleanest private parts on the face of the planet, but for the sake of social acceptance, at least pretend to wash your fucking hands after defecating, for god\u2019s sake.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Now despite the fact that such behavior is sort of odd and gross at the same time, Pre-Wash Piss Jew-Fro has another odd bathroom idiosyncrasy, that I wish my powers of observation never noticed: he\u00a0always<\/em>\u00a0uses a stall; which is fine, because some urinals are poorly made and lead to higher chances of the dreaded spatter, or there\u2019s an insecurity that someone may be deliberately trying to get a look at your junk.\u00a0 Using the stall is pretty normal, but I can\u2019t help but notice that he is audibly taking a great deal of effort to utilize the courtesy paper seat covers to cover the toilet seat \u2026 before he urinates standing up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Look, the men\u2019s room at this place is pretty quiet, there\u2019s no ambient muzak or classic music playing permanently on a PA system here, so when another man is taking care of business, it\u2019s for the entire present company to be able to hear it happening.\u00a0 It happens.\u00a0 But Pre-Wash Piss Jew-Fro here, let\u2019s get the facts straight:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. He goes into the stall to urinate<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. He applies a paper seat cover onto the toilet seat<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Which means he\u2019s not lifting the toilet seat before he urinates<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. And then he proceeds to urinate, and I know he\u2019s urinating because his feet are facing forward, and the unmistakable sound of urination is audible<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. Conclusively, he does all of this\u00a0after\u00a0<\/em>he washes his hands, and then exits the restroom outright\u00a0without<\/em>\u00a0re-washing his soiled hands.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The forward-facing feet are kind of the giveaway that Pre-Wash Piss Jew-Fro is pissing, that, or he\u2019s taking some of the most epic A.C. Slater-style dumps in the world.\u00a0 Either way, he fucking weirds me out, and there\u2019s a reason I practice the hypochondriac-like behavior of opening doors while holding paper towels.<\/span><\/p>\n

    *the above picture is not one that I took. But in search for a good photograph, I came across the creepiest Flickr site in the entire world:\u00a0<\/em>Under the Stall<\/em><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    There\u2019s this guy on my floor that I occasionally see in the men\u2019s room. Normally, such encounters are negligible, and certainly not worth posting about, but this guy, I find quite puzzling.\u00a0 Obviously by the way he dresses and presents himself, and the fact that he doesn\u2019t look that old, I have to assume he\u2019s … Continue reading Strange Bathroom Antics of Pre-Wash Piss Jew-Fro<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[98,37,15,49],"class_list":["post-30772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-bathroom","tag-job","tag-og","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30772"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30772\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30774,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30772\/revisions\/30774"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}