Sometimes I wonder if people look at me, and my ambivalent nature towards relationships and pursuing a girlfriend, and see a hopeless person, condemned towards permanent solitude until I get off my e-feet and start doing everything online, like the vast majority of society has apparently deemed socially acceptable.\u00a0 Wanting to say the words \u201cpathetic,\u201d and\/or \u201cparanoid,\u201d but won\u2019t dare, at least to me, out of respect, or apprehension that I might go apeshit in retribution.\u00a0 Not that any of it really matters, otherwise I may have already jumped off the bridge by at least now, but it does cross my mind from time to time, most especially when I\u2019m alone at home and bored.<\/p>\n
Regardless of my old-fashioned, dated mentality, I still hold on to the belief that someday, I\u2019ll come across someone the \u201cold-fashioned way,\u201d as in, in person, and a spark will ignite from there.\u00a0 I may be dated, but Googling a stranger is still fair game, but that\u2019s typically the extent of the cyber-snooping I\u2019d pursue if any at all, because one, I don\u2019t Facebook\/Twitter, and two, I\u2019m too broke to go the route of investing in online background checks.<\/p>\n
But really, as was a perfect example in my D*C missed connection girl, it was an innocuous encounter sparked by circumstance, spontaneity, and completely out of the blue, slightly nudging me out of my comfort zone, that may have possibly taken a few steps forward had I not been such a slow-witted dork at the time.\u00a0 Regardless of the no-result outcome, the simple interaction was still a fond moment of that weekend to me, because it\u2019s a glimpse of proof that it could still happen.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There\u2019s nothing at all wrong with internet match-making sites.\u00a0 I know lots of people who have taken the dive and successfully had dates, met interesting people, and even gotten their current spouses, through such means.\u00a0 Society has pretty much turned it into the norm nowadays, but I just don\u2019t want to take that path.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to say I met my wife or girlfriend through a URL.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go through the courting process over emails and text.<\/p>\n
I enjoy the intimate nature of actual in-person conversation, the subtle game of reading body language and trying to gauge every fidget, movement, and what the eyes and mouth are saying without words.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to feel and sense a relationship budding or inevitably not going anywhere, without there being an e-paper trail.\u00a0 I like those speechless moments between people, where both parties have momentarily run out of things to say, and there\u2019s curious, lingering eye contact of deliberation, prompting someone to inevitably say \u201cwhat?\u201d\u00a0 Casual dates, and the feeling-out process.\u00a0 Finding out what we like and dislike about a person\u2019s personality or interests, based on experiencing it, not discovering it in an online bio and deciding to avoid or pursue it before the fact.<\/p>\n
The biggest excuse to justify the online means is time, and that there\u2019s not enough of it. \u00a0And I find that to be bullshit, and that it\u2019s not so much a lack of time as much as it is a lack of effort, and that nobody wants to exert the effort necessary to be disconnected human beings.\u00a0 People have plenty of time to date and engage in the human act of communication, but the difference today is that people have a greater fear that other people are weirdoes not worth their time in the first place, and choose to either avoid communication outright, or outsource their effort to the internet.<\/p>\n
As most of us who have ever called a company for any sort of support have experienced, outsourcing doesn\u2019t always result in the greatest of results, so does it really make that much of a difference than braving it alone?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll stick to my guns and march to my particular choice of drum beat as long as I can, but I\u2019d be lying if I weren\u2019t at least a little bit concerned about my general future.\u00a0 Long ago, I told myself that I\u2019d want to get married young at 24, but that didn\u2019t happen.\u00a0 My parents have this belief that I\u2019ll pursue marriage when I turn 30, which will be next year, and although I doubt that will happen too, I\u2019m sure it would relieve all parties involved if I were at least making some headway in that year.<\/p>\n
But most of all, I\u2019m bored.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that I\u2019m terribly ronery, miserable and sex-starved or anything, but mostly just bored.\u00a0 Some things I like to do, like going to Braves games, have become less enjoyable, because I\u2019m getting bored sometimes, sitting by myself.\u00a0 Video games are more fun when played with others.\u00a0 I have tremendous friends who are awesome at entertaining me while we\u2019re together, but the reality is that we\u2019re all not getting any younger, and so many of them are in relationships or are already married.\u00a0 Some with kids, for that matter.\u00a0 The feeling of being the odd-numbered wheel when in certain groups sometimes grates at me.\u00a0 Okay, it grates at me a little more than that.<\/p>\n
The point remains, I\u2019m not getting any younger, and my hair\u2019s not staying any blacker.\u00a0 In one hand, I don\u2019t want to be yet another person who has to turn to the internet to find a relationship, but in the other, I don\u2019t want to end up like some of my cousins, whom, as it appears to me, felt some sense of urgency in their upper-quartile 30\u2019s, and married like-scurred females, and have popped out a bunch of kids immediately.<\/p>\n
But at this point, I\u2019d really just like to have some alleviation from some of this life\u2019s boredom, and nothing really else, I think.\u00a0 Preferably under my own terms.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sometimes I wonder if people look at me, and my ambivalent nature towards relationships and pursuing a girlfriend, and see a hopeless person, condemned towards permanent solitude until I get off my e-feet and start doing everything online, like the vast majority of society has apparently deemed socially acceptable.\u00a0 Wanting to say the words \u201cpathetic,\u201d … Continue reading The pursuit of a disconnected relationship<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[81,15,91,14,77],"class_list":["post-30775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-girls","tag-og","tag-pf","tag-romance","tag-ronery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30775","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30775"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30775\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30776,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30775\/revisions\/30776"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}