{"id":33661,"date":"2012-07-26T23:22:57","date_gmt":"2012-07-27T03:22:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=33661"},"modified":"2020-07-01T23:23:08","modified_gmt":"2020-07-02T03:23:08","slug":"if-this-is-what-i-think-it-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=33661","title":{"rendered":"If this is what I think it is"},"content":{"rendered":"

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I don’t think I’m going to come to parents’ house, like ever again. I don’t even think I’m going to be sleeping in my old bedroom tonight, for that matter. Jesus Christ ain’t got nothing on this demon from hell.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whether or not it was a brown recluse or not is irrelevant. I actually think it was one. Regardless, I still beat it to death from a safe distance, with a baseball bat. A metal one. Silverfish, deer crickets, spider-crickets, I can deal with those things. But brown recluses? With their poison that dissolves\u00a0canyons<\/em>\u00a0into human flesh??? No way, no fucking way. I love my old bedroom and my old bed, but I’m having some\u00a0serious<\/strong>\u00a0second thoughts about sleeping in that potential death trap now.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t think I’m going to come to parents’ house, like ever again. I don’t even think I’m going to be sleeping in my old bedroom tonight, for that matter. Jesus Christ ain’t got nothing on this demon from hell. Whether or not it was a brown recluse or not is irrelevant. I actually think … Continue reading If this is what I think it is<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[15,65,27,49],"class_list":["post-33661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-og","tag-travel","tag-virginia","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=33661"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33663,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33661\/revisions\/33663"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=33661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=33661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=33661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}