{"id":35133,"date":"2013-02-08T22:33:36","date_gmt":"2013-02-09T02:33:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=35133"},"modified":"2020-07-04T22:33:46","modified_gmt":"2020-07-05T02:33:46","slug":"the-homeless-co-worker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=35133","title":{"rendered":"The homeless co-worker"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretty sure that he\u2019s not actually homeless, but honestly there is reason for me to joke about making this claim.\u00a0 But I work with a guy that if he weren\u2019t such a blabbermouth at times talking about his living situation, there would likely be legitimate reason to believe that he might actually be homeless.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not uncommon for people who work in offices to bring a sweatshirt, a hoodie, or some sort of house coat to wear while in an office environment, because everyone\u2019s temperature gauge is different, but there can typically only be one temperature for an office.\u00a0 That being said, Mr. Homeless in my office has this sweatshirt that he hasn\u2019t taken off since his second day of starting here.\u00a0 I wish I were kidding too; the day he was introduced into the office, he was wearing a typically office-complaint dress shirt, but I guess it was decided that the office was far too cold for his internal thermometer, and the sweatshirt was brought in and there hasn\u2019t been a single minute since that I had no seen him in it since.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m really curious to see what happens once the weather warms up, and it gets to a point where a sweatshirt isn\u2019t going to be necessary.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to tell because the sweatshirt obscures 95% of whatever he\u2019s wearing underneath, but I get the impression that he has less than five collared shirts that he cycles through, and capitalizes fully on the fact that the sweatshirt hides them.<\/span><\/p>\n

The same goes for his pants.\u00a0 I\u2019ve only noticed that he only wears two different pairs of pants.\u00a0 One is khaki colored, the other brown; both are cargo.\u00a0 He\u2019s probably somewhere around early 60\u2019s in age.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the real kicker is the fact that regularly, he works way more hours than just about anyone else.\u00a0 I get to the office fairly early on a regular basis, but on a regular basis, Mr. Homeless is here before I am.\u00a0 I have\u00a0literally<\/a>\u00a0seen him actually leave the office once.\u00a0 Otherwise, every single day, he\u2019s still at his machine when I\u2019m packing up and heading out the door.\u00a0 No, he\u2019s not the InDesign wizard that I am, but I know with certainty that his workload is typically less than my own, so it\u2019s hard to imagine that he still has work to do in the same work hours that I accomplish everything I\u2019m tasked with.\u00a0 Sure, I\u2019ve seen him surfing the web as just about everyone here does during downtime, but I can\u2019t imagine staying past 5:00 p.m. here on any given day when half the office walks out the door at anywhere from 3:45 \u2013 4:30.<\/span><\/p>\n

Based on the information above, it really does sound like he lives in the office and does not actually have a place of residence.\u00a0 Sure, it raises the questions about his hygiene, but he wasn\u2019t exactly the bastion of dapper the day he arrived either.<\/span><\/p>\n

As fun as it is to imagine actually having a homeless co-worker, I know he really isn\u2019t, however.\u00a0 There are times during the day when he eavesdrops on enough conversations, to where he\u2019ll eventually hop up onto a soapbox, and begin blathering for 15 minutes.\u00a0 He\u2019s a nice enough guy, but man does he find ways to inject himself as the subject matter, and then it only becomes a matter of time before it\u2019s about his ex-wife or military service.<\/span><\/p>\n

And more than once has the subject of his supposed home and the mortgage he\u2019s aggressively attacking come up, which concludes with the confirmation that he supposedly does indeed have a place of residence somewhere.\u00a0 But at the same time, I\u2019m led to speculate that in his attempts to aggressively rid himself of his mortgage, he\u2019s probably also living to the extreme when it comes to cutting corners everywhere else.\u00a0 I\u2019m guessing he probably rarely uses any utilities, he\u2019s clearly not buying any clothing, and the self-imposed longer hours are probably his attempt to stay at a place where the temperature is regulated, the internet is included, and when he arrives and leaves at odd hours, he\u2019s also avoiding traffic, and conserving fuel.<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless, none of the above mentioned facts really help his case in possibly believing that he\u2019s homeless.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ironically, this is not the first time I\u2019ve suspected someone I\u2019ve worked with being homeless.\u00a0 When I was still living in Virginia, one of the proofreaders at the print shop I worked at I thought could possibly have been homeless.\u00a0 She had a Ford Fiesta that was packed to the gills with personal effects which leads to the theory that she might be living out of her car.\u00a0 But now that I think about it, and having seen so many episodes of\u00a0Animal Hoarders<\/em>, it\u2019s probably to safer to assume that she was \u201cjust\u201d an animal hoarder whose actual home was probably overrun by fucking cats, because there was no denying the fact that she\u00a0literally<\/a>\u00a0smelled like piss all the time.\u00a0 And her car was the only safe haven for her personal effects while her house was probably a decaying plot of land reeking of fucking cat piss.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m pretty sure that he\u2019s not actually homeless, but honestly there is reason for me to joke about making this claim.\u00a0 But I work with a guy that if he weren\u2019t such a blabbermouth at times talking about his living situation, there would likely be legitimate reason to believe that he might actually be homeless. … Continue reading The homeless co-worker<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[72,37,15,49],"class_list":["post-35133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-government","tag-job","tag-og","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35133"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35133\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35135,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35133\/revisions\/35135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}