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I know just about all of it has to do with the fact that I can be a cheap motherfucker from time to time.\u00a0 Often times I feel like I have to tell myself that it\u2019s okay to spend money that I\u2019ve saved up for the occasional splurge, vacation, emergency or rainy day.\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty sure I get my reluctance to drop large sums of money from my own fairly financially conservative family, and it doesn\u2019t help that given some of the circumstances of my parents\u2019 divorce, there\u2019s an expectation of my sister and I that we\u2019re going to have to help financially support both of them at some point, when I\u2019m struggling on a fairly consistent basis to keep my own head above water.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n If I could deliberately side-track for a second, I have to kind of think that it sucks more to be in my kind of situation when dealing with divorcing parents as opposed to young children having their parents split up.\u00a0 At least with young kids, their parents are typically somewhat proportionately younger as well, and might not have given up on life yet and could realistically have a second shot at settling down, or at least getting their shit together since their kids are too young to support themselves.\u00a0 In my case, I\u2019ve got two parents that have kind of begun winding down, don\u2019t really have any aspirations as they feel that they are too old for any substantial aspirations, and really aren\u2019t going to get their shit together considering they\u2019ve been in\u00a0 United States for over 35 years and still haven\u2019t got their shit together.\u00a0 They will eventually need financial support, and I don\u2019t think I\u2019m really ready to support anyone other than myself, let alone a future ex-wife\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0parents.\u00a0 My salary is okay, but let\u2019s face it, when you factor in inflation and the shit value of today\u2019s dollar, I feel as if I may as well be back earning sub-$30k salaries again sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n But back to the original impetus of this post, using money always puts me in a funk, even when I know that it\u2019s going towards something good, like a vacation or sometime I really wanted.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really know why this is, other than the fact that I was brought up to be financially conservative, but it just does.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t even matter if it\u2019s a situation where I\u2019m taking the hit and other people are paying me portions, the fact that a massive sum is coming out of my resources, even if for just temporary, is capable of putting me in a funk.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s so stupid too, this constant concern about money.\u00a0 I kind of hate having it, but at the same time, I feel like if I didn\u2019t have it, I\u2019d put myself into a situation where I got into a massive pile of debt that would ultimately be worse off.\u00a0 But I really dislike the feeling of having to wait until the 15th<\/sup>\u00a0and the ends of the month for paydays sometimes, and that my emotions are sometimes proportionate to what I\u2019ve got in my bank accounts.<\/span><\/p>\n What sucks the most is that I\u2019m completely aware of this stigma, but I can\u2019t always help it.\u00a0 I can tell myself all the time that letting money dictate my emotions is stupid and pointless, but it\u2019s not necessarily always something that can be controlled.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really want to be perceived as a cheapskate, but at the same time, I don\u2019t want to be driven broke from a desire to defy it.<\/span><\/p>\n I guess now would be a good time to re-watch some of those old episodes of\u00a0Extreme Cheapskates<\/em>\u00a0I still have DVR\u2019d, so I can feel better about myself.<\/span><\/p>\n The bright side to shelling out a lot of money in advance is when said paid-for events actually take place, I\u2019m usually back on the stable side of my finances again, and then things feel really awesome when they\u2019re already paid for and then you just go and enjoy the ride.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ll hang my hat on that mentality to help alleviate the funk.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I know just about all of it has to do with the fact that I can be a cheap motherfucker from time to time.\u00a0 Often times I feel like I have to tell myself that it\u2019s okay to spend money that I\u2019ve saved up for the occasional splurge, vacation, emergency or rainy day.\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty … Continue reading Using money depresses me<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[79,71,83,15],"class_list":["post-36806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-cashmoney","tag-famiry","tag-observations","tag-og"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36806","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36806"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36806\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36808,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36806\/revisions\/36808"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}