{"id":37378,"date":"2013-09-15T17:58:30","date_gmt":"2013-09-15T21:58:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=37378"},"modified":"2020-07-08T17:58:41","modified_gmt":"2020-07-08T21:58:41","slug":"a-late-night-urge-to-write","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=37378","title":{"rendered":"A late night urge to write"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oddly to say it, but it\u2019s been a while since I made a post like this.\u00a0 If it\u2019s not obvious, I tend to do a lot of my writing well in advance, and post them on a daily basis, to give off the impression that I\u2019m churning out brog posts on a daily basis.\u00a0 I hate to kill the reality, but that\u2019s not always entirely true.\u00a0 I still contend that I\u2019m the most dedicated blogger I know as well as out there, since I\u2019ve been doing this regularly for over twelve years now, but this is a little glimpse into the reality that is my own.\u00a0 I write pretty consistently on a daily basis, but there are stretches of time where I actually don\u2019t have the time to write something, every single day.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, this is something I haven\u2019t done in a while; a post where I\u2019ve started writing with little or no real objective, and where I\u2019ll actually hit \u201cpost\u201d upon completion or when I don\u2019t feel like writing anymore, and it will go up in at real of time as there ever is, instead of hitting \u201csave as draft,\u201d and saving it until Monday, because I tend to not really do much, if any, writing over the weekends, because I\u2019m lazy like that, and frankly people don\u2019t really use the internet on weekends aside from needs, sports scores, or Facebook; along those monotonous ways.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But since my weekend\u2019s been derailed by a series of unfortunate circumstances, I\u2019ve found myself at home this weekend, which I was hoping wasn\u2019t going to happen.\u00a0 In a perfect world, I would have spent Saturday down in Savannah, a town I\u2019m quite partial to despite not having gone to school down there (although I was accepted in high school), and caught the fifth and deciding game of the Sally League Championship, which of course is minor league baseball.\u00a0 But unfortunately, I was relying on a Washington Nationals affiliate to not be like their parent club, to not fuck it up, which they did, losing in Game 4 and thus negating the need for the fifth game.\u00a0 No fifth game, no real reason to go down to Savannah.<\/span><\/p>\n

Plan B, which was originally Plan A until I had prioritized getting hammered while watching a minor league championship game over it, was a day trip out to Phoenix, Arizona, where I would visit Chase Field, where the Diamondbacks play, and cross off #25 out of the 30 Major League Baseball parks.\u00a0 This was a very appealing plan B, because of course, it\u2019s #25, but there was also a bobblehead being given out, as well as the prospect of visiting Chompie\u2019s, where I had one of the greatest foods I\u2019d ever had in my life, in their Jewish Sliders.\u00a0 Unfortunately for me, which is so often the case with any sort of traveling how I travel, getting to my destination would not really be an issue, but coming back most definitely would.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because Atlanta is the hub, 70% of the time, people end up in Atlanta regardless of where their final destination is.\u00a0 Getting to Phoenix would have been a breeze, but the red-eye flight I had envisioned being my fairly simple route back home\u2019s passenger list kept creeping with additional passengers one at a time, to a point where it wouldn\u2019t be realistically safe for me to attempt.\u00a0 Even if I missed out on the red-eye flight, the subsequent flights on Sunday all didn\u2019t look so great either.\u00a0 Sure, I could have just embarked on somewhat of an adventure, but the last thing I really needed was to get stranded in Phoenix for multiple days.<\/span><\/p>\n

So home I remain this weekend.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the end of the world by any means, but I really had my hopes set on some sort of travel.\u00a0 I made another\u00a0ridiculous salad<\/a>, making sure to avoid the things I did the first time around that I didn\u2019t like, or made it not so great, and I have thus far enjoyed it greatly.\u00a0 I watched a few college football games, which weren\u2019t bad, and I caught up with some of the things on my DVR box, like\u00a0Taken 2<\/em>.\u00a0 And I did a few actual productive things, like trimming the bushes in front of my house, as well as ironed the litany of shirts that I had been avoiding, because I actually fucking hate ironing shirts.<\/span><\/p>\n

So the weekend has actually been more productive than if I had jetsetted off to somewhere else to have fun.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s really late right now, but I don\u2019t feel like sleeping just yet.\u00a0 I have a lot of little things swirling around in my head lately, which either means two things \u2013 I\u2019m hinging on the edge of depression, or I\u2019m feeling kind of ronery again.<\/span><\/p>\n

The good news is that I\u2019m not depressed right now.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really have much reason to be depressed at the moment, although that\u2019s always really a phone call away from a family member to remind me of just how tumultuous the relationships within my immediately family are currently, but I\u2019m trying not to think about any of that so much lately.<\/span><\/p>\n

But admittedly, I am feeling that ronery feeling again lately, although it\u2019s not really affecting my mood.\u00a0 It\u2019s just more the fact that I think I get bored easily, which might not be the case if I simply just had someone to do things with, all sex jokes aside.\u00a0 However, that\u2019s not exactly what\u2019s the impetus of me deciding to stay up and write a bunch of fluff in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just, I suppose I think about myself from time to time, and think that I\u2019d be a pretty decent guy to be in a relationship with.\u00a0 I think I treat people well, I\u2019m respectful, and I\u2019m fiercely loyal.\u00a0 I have a stable job, and a strong work ethic, and I\u2019m physically active despite the fact that some might find it hard to tell by looking at me.\u00a0 And despite the fact that I lean hard on the crutch of self-deprecation (see prior sentence), I don\u2019t think I\u2019m really that bad looking of a guy.\u00a0 I know I\u2019m capable of dressing well, and I make efforts to keep well-groomed, and clean on a regular basis.\u00a0 I think I\u2019m thoughtful, and I know that I profile as somewhat of a doting kind of guy when around women, but that\u2019s just my innate preference to always be the consummate gentleman.<\/span><\/p>\n

All that being said, I think I\u2019d be a fantastic catch to any girl who\u2019d be willing to give me a shot.\u00a0 I can\u2019t say all the great things I\u2019d do, but I can say many things I\u00a0wouldn\u2019t<\/em>\u00a0do, like cheat, prioritize seemingly pointless things ahead without justification, or be some sort of a financial leech.<\/span><\/p>\n

I had a conversation with a friend of mine a few weeks ago, who I suppose is in somewhat of the same boat I\u2019m in, which I find surprising given his charming personality, but we talked about the whole \u201cjoke\u201d about how women can smell the desperation on a guy, and how it\u2019s capable of scaring them off.<\/span><\/p>\n

While at Dragon*Con, I remember I was ditched by all the people I was hanging out with, because there was a \u201cprivate party\u201d they all wanted to go.\u00a0 I kind of stood there a little aloof, holding my drink wondering what to do next.\u00a0 I saw this girl who was wandering around, doing the whole \u201cI\u2019m looking for someone\u201d thing, and I had noticed her a few minutes prior, when I was still with my company.\u00a0 I\u2019m not blind, and I did notice her glance at me quite a few times.\u00a0 After I had been ditched, I saw her again, and this time I thought what the hell, and despite how uncharacteristic of me it, just striked up a conversation.\u00a0 She was all smiles and pleasant and she was cute, and I was sticking to the basics like asking for her name, if she were enjoying the convention, etc, etc, but man did that conversation not last long.\u00a0 She eventually re-affirmed the notion that she was \u201clooking for her friends,\u201d and vanished off.\u00a0 Admittedly, I felt a little dejected; I couldn\u2019t even hold the attention of a single girl who was sneaking glances my way just earlier.<\/span><\/p>\n

As much as I tell myself that I\u2019m not desperate, sometimes I think I might be kidding myself.\u00a0 I\u2019d love to have a girlfriend.\u00a0 But at the same time, I\u2019m still unwilling to budge from my platform of not wanting to have to resort to the fucking internet to find a girl, because well I just don\u2019t.\u00a0 That is not how I want the story of my love life to end up.\u00a0 I would rather the story start out with \u201cwe met when I saw her stealing glances at me and I sacked up and spoke to her\u2026 at DRAGON*CON\u201d as opposed to the cyber-stalking nature of online dating.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Speaking of stalking, I\u2019d be fucking ecstatic to know that a girl were cyber-stalking me.\u00a0 Reading years and years of my brog posts, trying to decipher my personality while determining whether or not she could shape and fit into my laundry list of personal preferences. And working on a persona that I wouldn\u2019t be able to resist when we would \u201ccoincidentally\u201d meet one day, and have almost no problems getting into my wheelhouse.<\/em>)<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m kind of losing my train of thought because it\u2019s close to 3 AM right now, so I don\u2019t know how much more I\u2019m really going to write, but one other thought I had is that I simply wish that \u201cthe game\u201d weren\u2019t so difficult for men.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, nothing is more exhilarating to me than the thrill of the hunt, the excitement felt when I\u2019m actively chasing a girl that\u00a0just might<\/em>\u00a0be into me as well, but is playing a little hard to get, but for a guy like me, the game seems to be really difficult.\u00a0 Either my standards are too high, I\u2019m shooting for too high of stars, or I\u2019m really that clueless to the tells and signs from a woman to know whether or not I should give up or solder on.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think I\u2019m a desperate guy, but I still feel like I get the results of a desperate man.\u00a0 I feel that if I were a desperate man, I would be signed up on every single dating website out there, and I wouldn\u2019t be hesitant to be a little too forward and direct with my interests in anonymous women over the internet.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I suppose a lot of these feelings are just what a lot of people who are more or less just kind of lonely feel from time to time.<\/span><\/p>\n

These feelings will obviously pass, likely with a good night\u2019s sleep that the bed behind me is enticing me to have.\u00a0 But let\u2019s not pass up the opportunity to churn out nearly 2,000 words of fluff when the urge strikes, because these feelings existed at some point, may as well get them out to remind myself of what my mind is capable of doing occasionally.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oddly to say it, but it\u2019s been a while since I made a post like this.\u00a0 If it\u2019s not obvious, I tend to do a lot of my writing well in advance, and post them on a daily basis, to give off the impression that I\u2019m churning out brog posts on a daily basis.\u00a0 I … Continue reading A late night urge to write<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[104,45,71,15,77,65],"class_list":["post-37378","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-depression","tag-fail","tag-famiry","tag-og","tag-ronery","tag-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37378","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37378"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37378\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37379,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37378\/revisions\/37379"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}