{"id":37403,"date":"2013-09-19T18:59:18","date_gmt":"2013-09-19T22:59:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=37403"},"modified":"2020-07-08T18:59:29","modified_gmt":"2020-07-08T22:59:29","slug":"i-dont-have-enough-pictures-of-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=37403","title":{"rendered":"I don\u2019t have enough pictures of myself"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes, I stare at myself in the mirror.\u00a0 There\u2019s a small percentage of that time when I\u2019m carefully inspecting my face, because I\u2019m paranoid that there\u2019s a blemish that I\u2019m unaware of, or trying to see if there\u2019s like an unruly nose hair or something that\u2019s been agitating the shit out of me for the last random denomination of time that needs to be plucked.\u00a0 But the vast majority of the time, I\u2019m looking, with a combination of disdain, acceptance and sadness, and the ever-growing number of white hairs that are sprouting all over my head.<\/span><\/p>\n

Especially at the very front of the sides, like right above my temples.\u00a0 They\u2019re particularly going white right around there, and I\u2019m beginning to feel like I\u2019m turning into an Asian\u00a0Reed Richards from the Fantastic Four<\/a>\u00a0except I\u2019m not a super genius, nor can my entire anatomy including my clothing stretch like impervious rubber.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it\u2019s times like this when I kind of wish I could look back to as early as just like two years ago when I didn\u2019t have so much white hair to see what I looked like.\u00a0 Sure, my weight has fluctuated over the last 5-6 years due to not having a gym to go to on account of inconsistent finances, but at least my hair was almost entire still black, and not full of wispy defiant white hairs as it is now.<\/span><\/p>\n

The thing is, it\u2019s difficult to do that, because as it turns out, I don\u2019t really have a whole lot of pictures of myself, and in a way that kind of makes me a little bit sad.\u00a0 Often times I\u2019m the guy taking the pictures, and that\u2019s somewhat of a reputation I\u2019ve developed, so whenever I\u2019m around in occasions where a camera might be nice to have, it\u2019s often me the guy with it, and nobody else.\u00a0 Sure I could always have people take the occasional picture for me, but frankly it always seems a little awkward to me, and I find that social occasion photos feel the most genuine when they kind of happen organically, instead of carefully planned.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don’t even have a decent picture of myself to use in conjunction with this post.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I actually have some vanity, in spite of all the self-deprecating remarks I make about myself.\u00a0 Frankly, it\u2019s my belief that everyone really should have\u00a0some<\/em>\u00a0vanity in their psyche, or else they might be satisfied to never bathe, or feel the want and desire to look nice and dapper occasionally.\u00a0 Despite the things I might say about myself, when the day is over, I have a fairly comfortable self-image that doesn\u2019t think I\u2019m the worst-looking guy on the planet and sure I could probably stand to shed a pound or twenty but I\u2019m confident in my physical condition mostly, and how I\u2019m capable of presenting myself aesthetically.<\/span><\/p>\n

But back to the point, I don\u2019t feel that I have enough pictures of myself, which kind of sucks.\u00a0 There have been times where I\u2019ve felt like I\u2019ve looked good or there have been group photos, or people I haven\u2019t seen in long times, where it might be nice to have photographic evidence that I was there.\u00a0 But as I said, often times I\u2019m the one with the camera taking pictures, so unless I have create overkill rig to take photos for me, or I can actually trust someone to shoot for me,* most of the time, I\u2019m not in as many photos as I might like.<\/span><\/p>\n

*speaking of which, I know I\u2019m hardly qualified to declare myself a photographer, so I don\u2019t, but compared to the hundreds of people I\u2019ve encountered in my life I\u2019ve asked to snap a quick photo (<\/em>just push this button until it goes click), I\u2019m fucking Ansel Adams.\u00a0 Seriously, is it really that difficult to frame a shot or utilize a half-press to let things come into focus?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Honestly, it kind of stinks, at least in my current frame of writing\u2019s mind.\u00a0 I can recall all sorts of memories of people, places and things, but sometimes there isn\u2019t a whole lot of photographic proof that I might\u2019ve been a part of it.\u00a0 Aside from that, it\u2019s like I have little visual evidence of myself, rapidly aging at the stage of my life where my aging is apparently catching up with me on visual and physical\u00a0 manners.<\/span><\/p>\n

I like when I\u2019m in the photos too.\u00a0 Especially when I get all dapper and feel like I look nice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like during Dragon*Con, when I was decently dressed on Sunday night and wandering about, some girl came out of the blue and asked if I would take a picture with her.\u00a0 Naturally I was puzzled, because I wasn\u2019t in some costume and just minding my own business, and my confusion was clearly obvious, because she felt to explain that the rationale was because \u201cshe loved Asians.\u201d\u00a0 Hey, I can accept that.\u00a0 I put my arm around her and smiled for the camera, which was being shot by what I had to assume was her actual boyfriend (owned).<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a photo I\u2019m fairly certain I\u2019ll never see because they ran off afterward, and my badge was flipped behind me for the photo so she doesn\u2019t even have a way to see if my name were visible to track me down.\u00a0 But it\u2019s a moment that made me feel confident about myself and a small boost to my ego, because I thought I looked good that night.<\/span><\/p>\n

But that\u2019s the thing.\u00a0 Much like how I think I\u2019m justified in being able to boast about being the best damn brogger on the planet that actually dedicates to his brog obsessively, I think I\u2019ve always been very reliable when it comes to posting the photos I take.\u00a0 Like if you see me take a picture with an actual camera, there\u2019s pretty much a 100% chance it ends up on my site at some point, unless personally requested that it not be, or I use my discretion and not posting something that could be detrimentally unflattering.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be it friends, acquaintances, strangers, people at conventions, people at sporting events, people at social events, there are often times lot of people who take photos; some I know, most I don\u2019t, but the fact of the matter is that when people take these photos, what happens with them?\u00a0 It\u2019s not that I expect everyone in the world to post 90% of the shots they take, but damn wouldn\u2019t it be nice to see visual evidence of events, gatherings or moments in life spent with others in various places?<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter though.\u00a0 This is not a poorly veiled calling out to all my friends and seven readers that they need to take more photographs themselves, and include me in them, because it most certainly isn\u2019t.\u00a0 It probably means I should become better at utilizing the timer and the focus on timer, on my camera so that if I really wanted a picture of myself, I\u2019d be a little more competent at doing such.\u00a0 Or, I should get a decent quality webcam, and start doing one of those \u201cpicture-a-day\u201d things so I can really capture my rapid aging at 31 years.<\/span><\/p>\n

But contrary to a lot of the swill I write about myself, I really wouldn\u2019t mind seeing more photos of myself when the day is over.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes, I stare at myself in the mirror.\u00a0 There\u2019s a small percentage of that time when I\u2019m carefully inspecting my face, because I\u2019m paranoid that there\u2019s a blemish that I\u2019m unaware of, or trying to see if there\u2019s like an unruly nose hair or something that\u2019s been agitating the shit out of me for the … Continue reading I don\u2019t have enough pictures of myself<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[128,15,18],"class_list":["post-37403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-conventions","tag-og","tag-photos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37403","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37403"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37403\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37404,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37403\/revisions\/37404"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}