{"id":38040,"date":"2013-12-20T22:24:44","date_gmt":"2013-12-21T02:24:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=38040"},"modified":"2020-07-09T22:27:24","modified_gmt":"2020-07-10T02:27:24","slug":"oh-atlanta-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=38040","title":{"rendered":"Oh Atlanta"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/fave.api.cnn.io\/v1\/fav\/?video=us\/2013\/12\/19\/ga-elevator-urine-detection-system.wsb&amp;customer=cnn&amp;edition=domestic&amp;env=prod\" width=\"416\" height=\"234\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">I\u2019m fairly certain that this isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve used this headline before. I\u2019m too lazy to cross-check though, but the context is probably the same \u2013 shame. There\u2019s also a high probability that if I <em>have<\/em> used it before, it too was probably related to one of Atlanta\u2019s biggest embarrassments: MARTA.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.wsbtv.com\/news\/news\/marta-installs-urine-detection-systems-elevator\/ncPgH\/\">Long story short<\/a>: Due to the overwhelming problem of people urinating in MARTA elevators, MARTA will be wasting even more money to install \u201cUrine Detection Devices\u201d (UDDs) to attempt to deter people from peeing in the elevators.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">Obviously, MARTA is one gigantic joke to the world, especially those of us that live in Atlanta, but honestly, I had no idea that this was even an issue. Being physically capable of using my legs, I have always utilized the stairs or the escalators, and I can honestly say that I\u2019ve never once been inside of a MARTA elevator. But apparently, it\u2019s among the worst experiences on the planet due to the fact that people have a tendency to use them as public urinals.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">Thank goodness for physical competence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\"><!--more--><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">Anyway, the geniuses at MARTA are going to install UDD devices with hopes that it\u2019s going to deter and ultimately prevent people from pissing in the elevators moving forward. That\u2019s great and all, but I see one major flaw in their proposed plan of action: upon detection of someone peeing in the elevator, it supposedly triggers an alarm, to where \u201cMARTA police will be there in seconds to catch the offender in the act.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">Is this proposal talking about the same MARTA police officers that MARTA riders see? Or, for lack of a better term, don\u2019t see? Seriously, I\u2019m not exaggerating when I say that I\u2019ve seen actual MARTA police officers like twice. I\u2019m not a regular MARTA rider (thank god) but I oftentimes do take MARTA straight from the office to the airport. In the station, or on an actual train, I can honestly say that I\u2019ve only twice seen an actual MARTA police officer. MARTA police <em>cars<\/em> is a different story, and the bicycle cops that occasionally ride laps around the Midtown station sure, but never an on-foot officer present, much less in any proximity remotely close to an elevator, capable of responding to a piss-alarm if were to theoretically occur.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"border-image alignnone wp-image-38041 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/MARTAPOLOLICE.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"436\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/MARTAPOLOLICE.jpg 436w, https:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/MARTAPOLOLICE-300x165.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 436px) 100vw, 436px\" \/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-9422\" title=\"MARTAPOLOLICE\" src=\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/MARTAPOLOLICE.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"436\" height=\"240\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">Seriously, I\u2019m confident that I could outrun at least five of these guys. I could probably outrun all eight of them, if I ignore the belief that just because they\u2019re not fat or old doesn\u2019t mean they can run.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">So sure, install UDDs in all 111 public MARTA elevators, at $10,000 a pop. Sounds like a great idea, but as long as Atlanta Police Department rejects and duty-incapable people are the ones representing the vaunted MARTA police force, and they\u2019re never around to react to any UDD alarms, people are still going to be pissing in the elevators until their bladders are all relieved.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Lora; font-size: 12pt;\">GG, MARTA. GG, Atlanta.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m fairly certain that this isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve used this headline before. I\u2019m too lazy to cross-check though, but the context is probably the same \u2013 shame. There\u2019s also a high probability that if I have used it before, it too was probably related to one of Atlanta\u2019s biggest embarrassments: MARTA. Long story &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=38040\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Oh Atlanta<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[98,118,15,143,49],"class_list":["post-38040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-bathroom","tag-marta","tag-og","tag-ohatlanta","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38040","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38040"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38042,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38040\/revisions\/38042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}