{"id":38305,"date":"2014-02-18T21:44:40","date_gmt":"2014-02-19T01:44:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=38305"},"modified":"2020-07-10T21:44:52","modified_gmt":"2020-07-11T01:44:52","slug":"negativity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=38305","title":{"rendered":"Negativity"},"content":{"rendered":"

I hate my life right now, and I don\u2019t know what to do about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel so utterly alone these days, and I don\u2019t even know where to go where to find people I trust to discuss my problems. Family is out of the question because I cannot discuss anything with them without the underlying judgment for my life\u2019s decisions. I don\u2019t want to burden others with my mental weight, or I don\u2019t frankly feel comfortable enough attempting to unload my problems with just any people.<\/span><\/p>\n

Any attempts I make at trying to do something good, something fun, or anything that might bring me back to a happier place are constantly derailed. Be it the weather, conflicting schedules, things I perceive as inconsideration or selfishness of others, or just apathy on account of being depressed, I just am having a real difficult time in shaking this funk.<\/span><\/p>\n

The worst part is that I\u2019m fully aware that the trapped feeling I feel is imposed upon me by nobody but myself, and there\u2019s the chance that I\u2019m being too cautious about being too careful with those around me. I feel like I\u2019m always in a state of walking on egg shells, and that everyone is tippy toeing around egg shells around me themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to scream and yell out all my problems and hope that someone hears me and can be a stereotypical pillar of a personal support structure, but at the same time I don\u2019t want to clarify issues and drop names, because I don\u2019t necessarily think that solves anything either. So I remain quiet and stewing, which I know isn\u2019t healthy either, but it seems like the safest bet until a better solution arises.<\/span><\/p>\n

Underlying all these issues is the inherent fear that I\u2019m turning into my dad; a miserable, solitary island of a man who may have felt all these things at some point in his life, but like me might constantly feel that bottling it up is better.<\/span><\/p>\n

Life is not good right now. I am unhappy and I don\u2019t know what do to about it.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hate my life right now, and I don\u2019t know what to do about it. I feel so utterly alone these days, and I don\u2019t even know where to go where to find people I trust to discuss my problems. Family is out of the question because I cannot discuss anything with them without the … Continue reading Negativity<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,104,15,105,77],"class_list":["post-38305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-depression","tag-og","tag-rage","tag-ronery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38305"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38305\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38306,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38305\/revisions\/38306"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}