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Impetus<\/strong><\/a>: May 27, 2014 is the estimated date in which the DC Metro Silver Line opens up the route to Tysons Corner.<\/span><\/p>\n Knee-jerk reaction<\/strong>: May 27, 2014 is the estimated date in which Tysons Corner begins its new identity as the second coming of Springfield Mall.<\/span><\/p>\n In other words, this is, whether people realize it or not, terrible, terrible news for Tysons Corner, and the surrounding McLean area.\u00a0 A lot of people don\u2019t want to admit it, because it insinuates a hint of racial bias, profiling and other negative connotations, but the demise of Springfield Mall and the commercial death of all surrounding area coincides perfectly with the extension of the blue line and creation of the Springfield-Franconia Metro stop.\u00a0 Like Cinderella\u2019s glass fucking slipper.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n With Tysons Corner now accessible by Metro, it\u2019s not a matter of time, it\u2019s definitive fact, that what happened to Springfield Mall is going to happen to Tysons Corner.\u00a0 Bored, disenfranchised youths of Southeast D.C. get a day pass (if they\u2019re not fare-hopping in the first place), hop aboard a train, take the silver line to Tysons, and loiter and hang out at Tysons I all day long.\u00a0 People will begin throwing words like \u201cgangs\u201d and \u201cthugs\u201d and \u201choodlums\u201d around as their numbers grow when they realize that this nice giant clean mall is accessible.<\/span><\/p>\n Non-existent security measures will begin taking effect to dissuade potential gang activity, like the 2+2 rule where people aren\u2019t supposed to be walking side-by-side-by-side-by-side in lines, blocking walkways and appearing as gigantic cohesive (gangs) groups.\u00a0 The number of bandannas and people walking around in public wearing nothing but wife-beaters will increase.\u00a0 The number of people who look like they\u2019re without a dime in their pocket will outnumber the people who do.<\/span><\/p>\n Smart shop owners will break lease, and get the fuck out of there at the cost of a little bit, before they lose everything.\u00a0 In their place will be shoe stores, shoe stores, shoe stores and baby clothes, much to the ironic accuracy of Chris Rock\u2019s interpretation of \u201cthe black mall.\u201d\u00a0 A DTLR (whatever that means) will replace Brooks Brothers, Foot Locker and Finish Line will see their stores\u2019 sizes triple, and eventually a store with the word \u201cUrban\u201d in the name will prominently be displaying racing jackets, baseball caps with every NBA team logo on it, and counterfeit products.<\/span><\/p>\n MS-13 activity will grow and spread like a plague throughout Tysons I, Tysons II, and the surrounding McLean area, and it\u2019s only a matter of time before the number of automotive break-ins and car-jackings start to increase.\u00a0 Scared white people will reduce their business at Tysons and attempt their best to be off the property when the sun goes down.<\/span><\/p>\n Before you know it, someone will be murdered and decapitated in in the Macy\u2019s parking garage, and those who didn\u2019t realize it, will realize it right then and there that there\u2019s nobody to blame for the degeneration of Tysons Corner but Metro.<\/span><\/p>\n If there\u2019s one silver lining to the depression foreshadowing of the silver line, is that Fair Oaks Mall and Dulles Towne Center are probably salivating at the potential influx of business that\u2019s going to head in their direction, when people realize that neither of them are (yet) Metro accessible, and are still perceived as potentially safe places to waste time and be out in public.<\/span><\/p>\n Either way, mark May 27, 2014 as the day Tysons Corner\u2019s clock begins ticking backward, because \u201cthe rich people malls\u201d are on a downhill path to becoming Springfield Mall 2 and 3.<\/span><\/p>\n Thanks Metro THANKS OBAMA.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Impetus: May 27, 2014 is the estimated date in which the DC Metro Silver Line opens up the route to Tysons Corner. Knee-jerk reaction: May 27, 2014 is the estimated date in which Tysons Corner begins its new identity as the second coming of Springfield Mall. In other words, this is, whether people realize it … Continue reading Preparing for the demise of Tysons Corner<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[112,15,52,27],"class_list":["post-39113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-crime","tag-og","tag-owned","tag-virginia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39113"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39113\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39115,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39113\/revisions\/39115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}