![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/mohamed-danielle-tlc-90-day-fiance-e1415310667839.jpg\")
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During October, while other TV snobs were going apeshit over the impending returns of programming such as\u00a0The Walking Dead<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0American Horror Story: Freak Show<\/em>, I too was getting excited of another showing embarking on a new season.<\/span><\/p>\n 90 Day Fianc\u00e9<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m fucking serious.\u00a0 The most popular shows in the country have some stiff competition as far as I\u2019m concerned with the parade of train wrecks that TLC keeps putting out.\u00a0\u00a0Extreme Cheapskates, My Strange Addiction, My Five Wives<\/em>, I can\u2019t get enough of these terribly entertaining shows.\u00a0 But among those, I\u2019d have to say that 90 Day Fianc\u00e9 might have to be my favorite.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I\u2019m like a hipster when it comes to television, while the whole world is losing their shit over zombies, freaks, Disney characters and amateur singers, I stick with TLC.<\/span><\/p>\n For the life of me, I can\u2019t seem to locate\u00a0on my own brog<\/em>, the post where I talked about it last, but I make no secret that I find this show as guilty of a pleasure as they come.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing like watching people so socially incapable of maintaining relationships with one another, that they all seem to gravitate towards solutions in other countries, so that it\u2019s almost as if they have a convenient excuse for when the shit inevitably hits the fan.<\/span><\/p>\n Anyway, the second season is underway, and I couldn\u2019t possibly be any more excited.\u00a0 Whereas the first season of the show at a 100% success rate in couples getting married, I can\u2019t possibly believe that such is going to be the case with the array of couples in season 2.\u00a0 The best part about season 2 is that unlike season 1, which was all pathetic dudes importing in mail-order brides, this season features two pathetic women, who have imported their men to America to try and hitch them in 90 days.<\/span><\/p>\n That being said, none of them are as golden of a recipe for disaster as Danielle<\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0Mohamed<\/strong>.\u00a0 For starters, Danielle is 41 and is from Bumfuck, Ohio and Mohamed is 26 and hails from somewhere in Tunisia.\u00a0 Danielle has three teenage \u201cdaughters,\u201d and I put that in quotations, because one of them literally looks like the guy who played Ron Weasley in the\u00a0Harry Potter<\/em>\u00a0films.\u00a0 Danielle is an emotionally frail woman who shares her wardrobe with one of her daughters, and Mohamed uses religion as justification to not sleep with Danielle despite declaring her \u201cphysically acceptable.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n If I am a betting man, Danielle\/Mohamed is the one relationship that\u00a0has<\/em>\u00a0to fail.\u00a0 There is no reason that this season needs to have a 100% success rate, and if any one of them has to fail, this is the one.\u00a0 Mohamed couldn\u2019t possibly be any more transparent with his pursuit of a green card, and when the cameras stop rolling, there has to be a zero percent chance that he stays in fucking Norwalk, Ohio.<\/span><\/p>\n Just because I started this, I may as well share my thoughts on the odds of the other couples:<\/span><\/p>\n Danielle\/Mohamed: 99 (fail)\/1 (succeed).<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m banking on this one to end in failure, but I wouldn\u2019t put it past TLC to kind of make sure that it goes through, and then whatever happens off camera, happens off camera, or is mentioned on a website update, or if they do another follow-up special prior to season 3 (if there is a season 3, god I hope there\u2019s a season 3).<\/span><\/p>\n Chelsea\/Yamir: 65\/35<\/strong>.\u00a0 Chelsea is a priss from Bumfuck, Illinois, and Yamir is a popstar from Nicaragua.\u00a0 Undoubtedly, Yamir became enamored with Chelsea, because she was a unique white girl in Nicaragua, and has decided to forego his life as a superstar in his home country, to follow his vapid girlfriend into the United States, because she misses, plumbing.\u00a0 Yamir will become miserable being a nobody in the Midwest, additionally burdened by a language barrier.\u00a0 He\u00a0will<\/em>\u00a0run off with the first relatively attractive girl that also speaks Spanish.<\/span><\/p>\n Brett\/Daya: 55\/45<\/strong>.\u00a0 Brett is a possible homosexual from Suburban Washington State, and Daya is a gold-digging green card hunter from the Philippines.\u00a0 When the very first interaction upon arrival is questioning of choice of flowers and that the engagement ring looks like it could be possibly fake, the word \u201cvapid\u201d flies out the window and an adequate substitute is nowhere to be found.\u00a0 I think failure is a very good possibility either due to Daya\u2019s gold digging behavior, or Brett\u2019s biological daughter completely preventing it, but in spite of the bitchiness, I think Brett still has the upper hand, because it\u2019s pretty clear that Daya wanted out of the lower-class Philippines.<\/span><\/p>\n Danny\/Amy: 50\/50<\/strong>.\u00a0 Danny is a derpy kid from Amish, Pennsylvania, and Amy is a five from South Africa.\u00a0 They\u2019re also the youngest couple in the show\u2019s history.\u00a0 Once again, be it religious, or just the fact that they\u2019re both so derpy, not only are they refraining from sex prior to marriage, they\u2019re not even living together, with Amy shacking up with Danny\u2019s older brother and his wife.\u00a0 So Amy is left isolated in Amish country, while Danny is off working construction.\u00a0 They succeed because they\u2019re young and stupid, or they fail because they hardly see each other, and there\u2019s plenty of time for both to reconsider getting married.<\/span><\/p>\n Jason\/Cassia: 40\/60<\/strong>.\u00a0 Despite being the last couple to be introduced into the show, I think they stand a decent shot at making it through to the end.\u00a0 Cassia has already been painted to be an extremely high-maintenance and bipolar bitch, but Jason has also been established as a pretty dry and mundane man with a military background, which is key.\u00a0 40 is the relationship actually never taking off, because Cassia was being a raging bitch that threatened Jason to not go back to the United States with him, but 60 would be Jason successfully bringing his mail-order bride back to the States, and sitting around and letting Cassia walk all over him on the way down to the aisle, and him liking it.<\/span><\/p>\n Justin\/Evelin: 20\/80<\/strong>.\u00a0 Despite the fact that Justin is a colossal douchebag, I think it\u2019s a pretty foregone conclusion that this is the one couple that stands the strongest chance of making it to the end of the show.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s true love or Evelin wanting a green card, the only thing that seems capable of getting in the way of the aisle is Justin\u2019s misogynistic views towards how women should be treated, that might be somewhat lost in translation when it comes to applying them to a solid eight from Colombia.\u00a0 However, Justin\u2019s willingness to essentially say \u2018fuck you\u2019 to his family when it comes to their judgment is a strength in the pursuit of the aisle, and leads to believe that they just might make it.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" During October, while other TV snobs were going apeshit over the impending returns of programming such as\u00a0The Walking Dead\u00a0and\u00a0American Horror Story: Freak Show, I too was getting excited of another showing embarking on a new season. 90 Day Fianc\u00e9. I\u2019m fucking serious.\u00a0 The most popular shows in the country have some stiff competition as far … Continue reading 90 Day Politically Incorrect Statement<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[15,69,125,49],"class_list":["post-39996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-og","tag-television","tag-tlc","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39996"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39998,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39996\/revisions\/39998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}