{"id":44184,"date":"2016-10-26T21:50:24","date_gmt":"2016-10-27T01:50:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44184"},"modified":"2020-07-27T21:50:47","modified_gmt":"2020-07-28T01:50:47","slug":"quite-possibly-the-most-useless-vehicle-ever-conceived","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44184","title":{"rendered":"Quite possibly the most useless vehicle ever conceived"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Mercedes-Benz getting into the pickup truck market<\/a> serves about as much purpose as Victoria\u2019s Secret getting into power tool production.<\/span><\/p>\n

But before I can really dial up the snark about how yuppies would love this vehicle for hauling groceries back from Whole Foods or how it\u2019s so luxurious, they wouldn\u2019t let day laborers from The Home Depot parking lot ride in the bed, and other inevitable privileged American misnomers, it turns out that Mercedes-Benz doesn\u2019t plan on selling it in America \u2013 yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

I equate the deliberate denial as something of an attempted power move, for Mercedes-Benz to exclude the one country in the world that loves pickup trucks, especially ones that are kind of useless for actual utilitarian purposes.\u00a0 Try to get Americans to be envious and drum up demand for a giant status symbol with wheels, but it has a truck bed, so it would be perfect to haul paint quarts, samples of crown moulding, and meticulously reconstituted wood.\u00a0 Or a litany of yoga equipment from Lululemon.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Really though, I couldn\u2019t think of a more senseless creation than a Mercedes-Benz pickup truck, especially if it\u2019s not being released in the United States yet.\u00a0 Pickups in general are about everything a typical vehicle owner in Europe wouldn\u2019t want, from being too large and space consuming, guzzles fuel, and because people treat their Mercs with kid-gloves anyway, its utility probably wouldn\u2019t even get any use.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seriously, it makes absolutely no sense why Mercedes-Benz would make a pickup truck, when they already make the Sprinter<\/a> van, which has way more utility, can actually transport a large number of people, with a roof for them, and if actually used for actual utility work, materials or cargo can be secured and locked.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever though.\u00a0 Nobody ever said Mercedes-Benz existed to fill needs, they pretty much exist solely to satiate egos and produce status symbols, with their litany of overpriced vehicles that utilize wood finishes, cheap leather and silver trim to create the fa\u00e7ade of luxury, justified by price tags more inflated than Kanye West\u2019s self worth.\u00a0 I can\u2019t imagine the types of people who will actually buy a Mercedes-Benz pickup truck, except for the assumption that they won\u2019t actually ever use the bed for anything that might possibly scratch or ding the body.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mercedes-Benz getting into the pickup truck market serves about as much purpose as Victoria\u2019s Secret getting into power tool production. But before I can really dial up the snark about how yuppies would love this vehicle for hauling groceries back from Whole Foods or how it\u2019s so luxurious, they wouldn\u2019t let day laborers from The … Continue reading Quite possibly the most useless vehicle ever conceived<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[51,45,49],"class_list":["post-44184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-cars","tag-fail","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44184"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44184\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44186,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44184\/revisions\/44186"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}