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Frankly, I don\u2019t much feel like writing lately.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been leaning on the crutch of trying to find an intriguing story to me with hopes of sparking some motivation to write, and opting to not force the issue and not writing anything if nothing emerges.\u00a0 Otherwise, I haven\u2019t felt particularly driven to write, and it\u2019s safe to assume that when I\u2019m not busy, have plans or something to do, I\u2019ve kind of been in this depressed state of being, where my life simply kind of feels like it\u2019s on hold and I\u2019m not particularly happy with my life.<\/span><\/p>\n But as far as I can observe, that seems to be a general sentiment felt by many, as 2016 comes to a merciful close \u2013 not particularly happy.\u00a0 Make no mistake, whether you believe a narrative can be conveniently encapsulated within a calendar year, or if it\u2019s coincidental to be insulated within twelve particular months, 2016 was a pretty rough year.\u00a0 Maybe it was because of the litany of celebrity deaths, from Prince, David Bowie to the seemingly endless coverage of Carrie Fisher.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s because of the election of a president that is a known bigot, sexist and racist and the dread of knowing that he will be in charge of the country for at least the next four years.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s the ever-growing dredge and pessimism and \u2018if it bleeds it leads\u2019 mentality of the media and the social shitstorm it brews over social media, leading to this endless cycle of negatively connoted news we\u2019re incessantly exposed to.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s because in our own personal lives, we\u2019ve dealt with loss, bad news, or diminished feelings of hope for the future at the home front.<\/span><\/p>\n Or maybe it\u2019s a little bit of all of the above, or any combination of such.\u00a0 Who really knows, but it goes without saying that for most of the people in my own little world, the negative outweighed the good by a tremendous margin, and that notion in itself is why I\u2019m one of the many that is looking forward to 2016 ending, and hoping that 2017 might just be a little bit better.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sure, I think it\u2019s silly to believe that 2017 has to<\/em> be better simply because it is not 2016, but I also feel that people have taken a tremendous amount of crap throughout the year.\u00a0 If rolling a number up is all it takes for people to regain a modicum of faith and hope that things can get better, I\u2019m all for it, and also bidding adieu and good riddance to 2016.<\/span><\/p>\n It was a year where I witnessed loss from those close around me.\u00a0 To say it wasn\u2019t completely lost on me would be incorrect because although not my blood, it was like losing a second mother, and the sadness I felt and still feel is very much legitimate.\u00a0 Loss is never an easy thing to deal with, and as a person that\u2019s pretty much flawed with empathy, seeing others around me devastated by their losses is absolutely miserable for me to sit around feeling helpless to comfort.<\/span><\/p>\n It was a year in which my career choices came back to bite me in the ass, where chasing dollars and a shorter commute last year resulted in a job I absolutely loathed and tested my resolve on almost a daily basis.\u00a0 Although I can applaud myself for swallowing a little bit of pride and breaking some old professional mentalities and getting out of there and making a change, I can\u2019t deny that I probably took some steps back in title, wage and the fact that I\u2019m on the ground level all over again.\u00a0 I don\u2019t regret the choice one bit, as I\u2019m definitely happier in my day-to-day work life, especially compared to what would\u2019ve been in the previous job, but it does still lend itself to the notion that my life kind of feels like it\u2019s on hold.<\/span><\/p>\n It was a year in which I\u2019ve been witnessing my own family ripping themselves apart.\u00a0 Between a sadistic life\u2019s joke on my sister\u2019s family to watching my own parents unable to handle a divorce without an unnecessary amount of vitriol, I\u2019ve gone to bed far too often at night feeling dejected and miserable at the state of my family.\u00a0 It\u2019s led to roller coasters of frustration and anger over trying to play mediator between individuals who don\u2019t even know what they necessarily want, and this doesn\u2019t even factor in the endlessly maddening language barrier that further feeds into the cycle of frustration of an American living The Korean Story.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been finding it extremely difficult to live out my own life because these are matters pertaining to my own parents, and I don\u2019t feel like I can effectively live my life when their lives are compromised by a gigantic ugly boulder in the path that is most certainly surmountable, but only if I can get them on board with a compromise that they can both live with.<\/span><\/p>\n And it\u2019s been a year in which I\u2019ve begun to say goodbye to my home for the last 14 years.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t to say that I\u2019m leaving Atlanta or Georgia, it\u2019s to say that I\u2019m putting my house on the market, and beginning to look to the future.\u00a0 But this too isn\u2019t without emotion and anxiety, because ultimately it\u2019s a massive change, and I\u2019m just a person that has a tremendous amount of difficultly dealing with change sometimes.\u00a0 Sure, I know there\u2019s a lot of benefit to moving out and living more in-town, but it\u2019s still a massive change that I\u2019m going to have to deal with.\u00a0 It\u2019s been my home for 14 years; longer than I\u2019ve lived in any one place in my entire life, and it\u2019s saying goodbye to a place where I learned a tremendous amount about homeownership, finances, life and endless other things, and I definitely consider the anxiety of leaving as a major point in my year.<\/span><\/p>\n All in all, it all boils down to the notion that 2016 has been a year where I\u2019ve basically put my life on hold, and I don\u2019t necessarily feel like that\u2019s such a good thing.\u00a0 Who likes to be put on hold?\u00a0 But for a lot of reasons that are a little bit out of my hands, that\u2019s kind of where things are.<\/span><\/p>\n Not to mention, nothing seems more a metaphor of things being on hold, than my brog going down in April, and despite of having an objective of getting it back up for 2017, it will remain down for even longer.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Life, of course, and those involved in the upkeep of my brog having their own life issues that take precedence over hovering over computers.\u00a0 But if it\u2019s never been clear to anyone just how important my brog is to me, having it being down for 8+ months is very notable point of contention to my general state of wellbeing and overall happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n In spite of the things that I\u2019ve decided are points of demerit against 2016, this isn\u2019t to say that the entire year has been putrid and completely miserable.\u00a0 Naturally, there have been a few good times, namely some notable trips and explorations.\u00a0 Going on a cruise for the first time in my life, with mythical girlfriend, and sailing across the Aegean Sea, seeing countries I\u2019d never been to in my life like Italy, Croatia, Turkey and Greece was a very good trip.\u00a0 And finally visiting the Motherland and going to Korea with my mom was a memorable experience.\u00a0 And in spite of how blah 2016 may have been, I can still pinpoint the exact moment where I felt tremendous happiness and where for that moment of time, nothing else existed but the happiness, when after my mom and I had just arrived in Seoul, and the fun she was having with an old friend, seeing the smiles, laughter and exuberant joy, melted my heart and I can\u2019t forget it.<\/span><\/p>\n See?\u00a0 Not everything about 2016 was pure shit.<\/span><\/p>\n Anyway, I\u2019m struggling to write all of this out, and my resolve isn\u2019t particularly high.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad to see 2016 come to a close, and I certainly have hopes that 2017 will be better than this year.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired of feeling like my life is in this uncomfortable hold pattern, and I\u2019m hoping I can get back to a point where I don\u2019t go to bed every night feeling depressed and dejected about the situations I\u2019m in.\u00a0 Such will probably require some help from others, but let\u2019s be real here, I\u2019d want to spread the wealth, and hope that everyone around me has better years than the current.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Frankly, I don\u2019t much feel like writing lately.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been leaning on the crutch of trying to find an intriguing story to me with hopes of sparking some motivation to write, and opting to not force the issue and not writing anything if nothing emerges.\u00a0 Otherwise, I haven\u2019t felt particularly driven to write, and it\u2019s … Continue reading The obligatory 2016 year in review post<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,71,121,37,103,177,65,166],"class_list":["post-44324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-famiry","tag-homeownership","tag-job","tag-motherland","tag-mythical","tag-travel","tag-vacation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44324"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46431,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44324\/revisions\/46431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}