{"id":44404,"date":"2017-02-08T11:36:34","date_gmt":"2017-02-08T15:36:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44404"},"modified":"2020-07-30T11:36:47","modified_gmt":"2020-07-30T15:36:47","slug":"discontent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44404","title":{"rendered":"Discontent"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am not happy.\u00a0 I have not been happy in quite some time, to be perfectly honest.\u00a0 It has little to do with the year, or things that are happening around the world, because I feel that the state of my country is going down the shitter in my humble opinion, or that the Atlanta Falcons choked the biggest choke there possibly could be in the Superb Owl.\u00a0 Although, alternate outcomes of either of the last two might have made some days brighter than they\u2019ve been, they are not the reasons to why I am not happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the world immediately around me that\u2019s making me feel brought down lately.\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d feel a little bit of reprieve when some particular events came and went, and would be in the rearview mirror, but I can\u2019t honestly say that things do.\u00a0 I\u2019m relieved of the unburdening of some of the responsibilities, but the fallout and aftermaths of them linger, and they are still far from resolved, and no matter how much I can tell myself that I shouldn\u2019t care, I still do, because that\u2019s what I do, I care, I give shits, even when I don\u2019t want to.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a nutshell, my parents\u2019 divorce is going poorly, my family is basically in shambles and I\u2019m in the process of moving all my shit out of the house I\u2019ve lived in for the last 14 years and dealing with a lot of anxiousness pertaining to changes in life.\u00a0 I do not feel like I have an adequate support system behind me leading me to feel like I don\u2019t have people to really speak to without conflicting interests, and it doesn\u2019t matter where I go, because I don\u2019t really feel like anywhere is necessarily home for me right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m perpetually in a state where it feels like the best I can be sits somewhere in the 90% range any most definitely a far cry from 100%.\u00a0 When I have nothing to do, no objective or task, I feel the most lost, because I think there should always be something productive or indulgent to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Which then leads to the notion that I do not know what I am doing with my life right now, and I\u2019ve come to the recent conclusion that I can\u2019t say it\u2019s because of my family situation and the changes in my living situation.\u00a0 Those are excuses.\u00a0 Because I can\u2019t say that I\u2019d know what I\u2019d want to do with my life once those things are resolved and moved on from<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, my parents will resolve their shit, results of which are no longer my concern, and eventually my house will be empty, be sold, and no longer be my house, and then I\u2019ll do my best to acclimate to a new place and take the necessary steps to make such my new home.\u00a0 Until the concerns of today become, concerns of the past, I exist, a little bit on edge, but it\u2019s also worrisome to think about what\u2019s going to happen once they\u2019re in the past, because I don\u2019t necessarily know what I\u2019d be doing while moving forward, either.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or maybe I\u2019m just having a bad day; who can really tell the difference?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am not happy.\u00a0 I have not been happy in quite some time, to be perfectly honest.\u00a0 It has little to do with the year, or things that are happening around the world, because I feel that the state of my country is going down the shitter in my humble opinion, or that the Atlanta … Continue reading Discontent<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,71,121,77],"class_list":["post-44404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-famiry","tag-homeownership","tag-ronery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44404"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44404\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44405,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44404\/revisions\/44405"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}