{"id":44572,"date":"2017-04-11T20:40:30","date_gmt":"2017-04-12T00:40:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44572"},"modified":"2020-07-31T20:40:41","modified_gmt":"2020-08-01T00:40:41","slug":"id-gladly-take-an-ass-beating-for-a-few-mil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44572","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019d gladly take an ass-beating for a few mil"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

I think that unless you\u2019re living under a rock, most people have heard now about the United Airlines debacle where a passenger had his seat \u201cre-accommodated<\/a>\u201d which was apparently corporate-ese for \u201cphysically removing from aircraft by means of yanking them out of seat, bashing their face into an arm rest and dragging a bloodied body away while numerous other passengers video record the whole incident and let it go viral on social media.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, it\u2019s truly horrific that this happened, yes, United Airlines has found seemingly the worst possible combination of choices in a field of many, and yes, United Airlines is already in the fallout of a lifetime having lost at the time I\u2019m writing this nearly $1.4 billion<\/em> in lost stocks, sales, partnerships and other financial channels, with the number continuing to escalate as the saga continues.\u00a0\u00a0 By now, we\u2019ve seen the videos, we\u2019ve read the crocodile-teared apologies, and seen the endless litany of hilarious memes.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all got our opinions about United Airlines, and our own thoughts on the story that we know of.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most are appalled by United, and probably would make a conscious effort to avoid them moving forward, and that\u2019s completely understandable.\u00a0 Lots of people feel bad for the man, basically targeted, assaulted and basically a sacrificial lamb in this captivating story; it also doesn\u2019t help that he was a minority, although imagine how much worse would this story be if he were black?\u00a0 And just about everyone by now has had a good laugh at a meme about the situation that has probably created way more awareness to the story than there would\u2019ve been from people who simply pay attention to the news.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Personally though?\u00a0 Not only would I not boycott United Airlines, I\u2019m the guy on the hunt looking for cheap airfare through United.\u00a0 They\u2019re going to be in such defensive damage control in light of this situation that they\u2019re going to have to be rolling a red carpet out that may as well be a time machine to when fares weren\u2019t legalized rape, benefits will have to outdo the competition and bags will undoubtedly have to become free again.\u00a0 Fuck, if I had any remote clue how to play the market and had a broker, I would be picking up United shares right now, because they\u2019ve plummeted so far into the earth that Michael Bay is probably considering making a shitty disaster movie about it, because as history has proven, they will inevitably recover and go back up, and I\u2019d make a pretty penny probably.<\/span><\/p>\n

As for the victim?\u00a0 Sure, I feel bad for the guy, and nobody should really want to be a screaming and wailing martyr who is video taped getting physically manhandled and seen by billions, but let\u2019s also consider the very likely reality of the situation as well: he is going to get paid<\/strong>.\u00a0 The question isn\u2019t \u201cis he going to get seven figures?<\/em>\u201d it\u2019s more like \u201cis he going to get eight<\/em>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

United ain\u2019t poor.\u00a0 Fuck no, no operational airline is poor, no matter how much they cry poor in order to justify constantly raising fares and adding fees.\u00a0 United is rich as fuck, undoubtedly, and among the $1.4 billion of potential earnings they\u2019ve just lost, they are without any doubt at all, going to lose a notable chunk more when the Asian guy sues the ever living shit out of them.\u00a0 It will be such a layup that even Patrick Ewing couldn\u2019t miss it<\/a>, and United will undoubtedly be on their hands and knees to beg to settle, and because it\u2019s such an open and shut case, the settlement will have to be Oprah-money in order to be remotely considered.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. Re-accommodated is going to be rich as fuck, very, very soon, make no mistake.\u00a0 As much as it sucked to have gone through such a humiliating ordeal, it\u2019s probably also the best thing to ever have happened to him, because he\u2019s basically been given a golden ticket to a tremendous amount of fuck-you wealth because United was dumb and didn\u2019t know how to handle an easily remedied situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

And honestly, I\u2019m kind of jealous.\u00a0 I would gladly, gladly<\/em> be willing to take a public ass-beating, filmed by many and seen by billions, if I knew I was going to be getting compensated to the amount that would probably set me up for the rest of my life.\u00a0 I\u2019d scream and wail and be fine looking all pathetic as sand-bagged the cops as they dragged me off the plane.\u00a0 If I didn\u2019t have to work in an office or for someone else for the rest of my life as a result, I need to start booking on nothing but United from now on, and hope that they\u2019ll target me<\/em> for re-accommodation, and try not to jizz my pants if they ever identified me as someone who did.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know many people are sympathetic to Mr. Re-accommodated\u2019s public ass-kicking, but I think I kind of hate him now.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be rich as fuck really soon, and I\u2019m not, and for really doing nothing at all but standing his ground.\u00a0 God, I wish that could\u2019ve been me.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think that unless you\u2019re living under a rock, most people have heard now about the United Airlines debacle where a passenger had his seat \u201cre-accommodated\u201d which was apparently corporate-ese for \u201cphysically removing from aircraft by means of yanking them out of seat, bashing their face into an arm rest and dragging a bloodied body … Continue reading I\u2019d gladly take an ass-beating for a few mil<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[117,131,79,45,30],"class_list":["post-44572","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-airports","tag-branding","tag-cashmoney","tag-fail","tag-justice"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44572","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44572"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44572\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44574,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44572\/revisions\/44574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}