{"id":44733,"date":"2017-06-13T22:48:40","date_gmt":"2017-06-14T02:48:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44733"},"modified":"2020-08-01T22:48:53","modified_gmt":"2020-08-02T02:48:53","slug":"using-two-lockers-at-the-gym-is-a-dick-move","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44733","title":{"rendered":"Using two lockers at the gym is a dick move"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Seldom does a day go by where at least once, I don\u2019t think to myself how great it would be if I were Luke Cage.\u00a0 A fairly unsuspecting guy who can blend in anywhere he goes, but he\u2019s really practically invulnerable and has super strength and for the most part doesn\u2019t ever have to be afraid of anyone because not just anyone can actually harm him with fists, knives or even bullets.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seriously, if I had the capabilities of Luke Cage, I probably wouldn\u2019t go off and become a Defender and try to be any sort of a superhero.\u00a0 Superheroes get super villains, and then there are a whole lot of superhero responsibilities that come with being one.\u00a0 No, I\u2019d just want to capitalize on the confidence of knowing that I\u2019m pretty much invincible and start doing all the things I think and say in my head, and say them out loud, since all fear of physical retribution is off the table if one were Luke Cage.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I saw someone littering outside, I could actually not be reluctant to call out and reprimand them and then force them to pick up their shit.\u00a0 They could step up all they wanted, and even throw the first punch, but when I\u2019m Luke Cage, their fist would get shattered, and then they\u2019d have to do what I told them, lest I grab them by the collar and personally walk them to some police or something.\u00a0 Or if I\u2019m on public transportation, and someone is blasting music out of their earbuds that everyone can hear, I can tap them on the shoulder and ask them to turn it down, and when they escalate the situation from their rotten defiance, I can wait for them to try and land the first blow and then dominate them without any fear of harm.<\/span><\/p>\n

The list of things that would be great if I were Luke Cage could go on for days honestly, but of all the things that could possibly actually get this particular post off the ground, it would be calling out people at the gym, that for whatever reason it is, feel the need to occupy two lockers in the locker room to store their shit.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Honestly, I get why they do it, because at the case at my gym, people are going during their work lunch breaks, so they\u2019re expected to go back to the office afterward.\u00a0 They don\u2019t want to get their oxford shirts and khaki slacks tainted by being in contact with dirty gym bags or used gym clothing, so they separate their work clothes from their less than clean personal effects in two separate lockers.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, as is the case with my gym, there\u2019s not always enough lockers to begin with, and there are peak times of the day in which finding an open one might not be the easiest thing in the world.\u00a0 And it\u2019s at those particular times where someone utilizing two lockers because they\u2019re germaphobes is a dick move.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now if I were Luke Cage, and I saw someone stuffing their shit into two lockers, I could call them out on it in front others, and see if verbal shaming alone would do the trick.\u00a0 However, if it didn\u2019t, and they try to step up and get all defiant, I\u2019m not sure what I\u2019d do.\u00a0 I\u2019d probably want to goad them into hitting me, so they can break their own hands on my indestructible skin, but if they\u2019re just being passive aggressive and non-physical, I guess I would just proceed to remove their shit from one of the lockers, and hope that they try to physically stop me, in which they\u2019d learn real fast that they couldn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then with their shit in tow, I\u2019d stuff it all into one locker, so that all the dirty effects can touch the office-appropriate attire, and then with my mighty Luke Cage fingers, I\u2019d twist the metal joint so that the locker would be effectively locked shut.<\/span><\/p>\n

The dick would learn their lesson not to take up two lockers, and the world would be a better place for it, thanks to someone like me being Luke Cage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, because I\u2019m not a Luke Cage, I can only brog about fantasies and what-if scenarios, and not actually get in someone\u2019s face to try and change their behavior.\u00a0 The world is full of way too psychotic assholes and passive-aggressive trolls to want to bother getting involved with one another.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I guess since I\u2019m not Luke Cage, I\u2019d have to settle for a different course of action.\u00a0 Maybe instead, if I\u2019m really having a shitty afternoon, and the circumstances are just right, meaning I\u2019m all alone in the locker room when an asshole finishes utilizing two lockers, I\u2019m totally going to wipe off my balls on the collar of their dress shirt.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019ll learn them, and I don\u2019t have to be Luke Cage for that.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Seldom does a day go by where at least once, I don\u2019t think to myself how great it would be if I were Luke Cage.\u00a0 A fairly unsuspecting guy who can blend in anywhere he goes, but he\u2019s really practically invulnerable and has super strength and for the most part doesn\u2019t ever have to be … Continue reading Using two lockers at the gym is a dick move<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[140,29,109,37,83,91],"class_list":["post-44733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-comics","tag-fantasy","tag-gym","tag-job","tag-observations","tag-pf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44733","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44733"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44733\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44735,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44733\/revisions\/44735"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44733"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44733"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44733"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}