{"id":44768,"date":"2017-06-23T23:22:33","date_gmt":"2017-06-24T03:22:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44768"},"modified":"2020-08-01T23:22:58","modified_gmt":"2020-08-02T03:22:58","slug":"this-hulk-wolverine-combination-cant-be-real-can-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=44768","title":{"rendered":"This Hulk-Wolverine combination can\u2019t be real, can it?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll be the first to admit that I\u2019m a long way from the days when I used to really, really follow comic books.\u00a0 When I\u2019m bored at the desk, I\u2019ll often times wander over to Wikipedia and catch up on how absurd comic storylines are getting, and more often than not, I\u2019m disappointed in the direction of where things have gone throughout the years.\u00a0 The separation of Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson<\/a>.\u00a0 The killing of the Joker<\/a>.\u00a0 The killing of Batman<\/a>.\u00a0 Jubilee as a vampire<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Needless to say, there aren\u2019t any storylines that are making it remotely compelling to start seeking out comic books these days, and there\u2019s pretty much nothing I can\u2019t use Wikipedia or the rest of the internet to catch back up with.\u00a0 Television and movies might be bringing a ton of attention to the parent properties, but there\u2019s so much of it, that that\u2019s all that I think people wait for exclusively.<\/span><\/p>\n

But if there\u2019s one current storyline that I think will be safe from adaptation, it\u2019s this one that I saw recently pop up on a social media discussion: a Hulk-Wolverine Hybrid<\/em><\/strong> character<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why?\u00a0 Because it sounds absolutely stupid as shit.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

A combination of the Incredible Hulk, with gigantic mass, super strength, invulnerability and green skin, with Wolverine, with heightened senses, a healing factor which is irrelevant if they\u2019re already invulnerable, and of course, the adamantium-coated skeleton, giving him razor sharp claws.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s just take two of the most iconic, overpowered heroes in the franchise\u2019s history, and just mash them up.\u00a0 It\u2019s like mashing up Elvis Presley with Michael Jackson.\u00a0 Hulk Hogan with John Cena.\u00a0 A Stingray Corvette and a Mustang Cobra.<\/span><\/p>\n

Things that don\u2019t really make sense to combine, being combined anyway.\u00a0 Out of morbid curiosity, I\u2019d like to see what writers do to write themselves out of this concept, and I\u2019d like to know what came first, the concept or the writing?\u00a0 I feel like it\u2019s going to need some really creative writing to ret-con and whip shit up on the fly to create any sort of coherent storyline out of this combination.\u00a0 They\u2019ll need a combination of Mortal Kombat<\/em> storyline wrters along with WCW\u2019s 2001 writing staff to gain those attributes.<\/span><\/p>\n

No seriously, who thought this could possibly be a good idea?\u00a0 Jumping the shark doesn\u2019t describe how absurd this sounds.\u00a0 DJ Tanner Wrestling<\/a> isn\u2019t even sufficient at describing how dumb this sounds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wolverine will forever be entwined in the history of the Hulk, since his first appearance happened in the Hulk franchise, but there\u2019s little reason that they should ever really mix up on a regular basis, much less be combined<\/em>.\u00a0 I can\u2019t say that I\u2019m going to bother going out to find out how this storyline transpires, but I can say that in about a year or so when I occasionally gloss back to things I\u2019ve written in the past, I\u2019ll come across this post, and think \u201cooh, I bet it\u2019s summarized on Wikipedia!\u201d and then go check out of morbid curiosity. [2020 note: it was<\/a>, and it was fucking terrible]<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll see pictures of a giant green Canadian with bad hair and oversized fists, with three tiny adamantium chopsticks sticking out of his knuckles, because I\u2019d really like to see Marvel try to rationalize the expansion of the skeleton when Hulking out.\u00a0 I will cringe harder than a slug getting salt sprinkled on it, and I will undoubtedly laugh ironically.<\/span><\/p>\n

I also bet that somewhere in this bastardized character\u2019s history, Tony Stark and\/or Mister Fantastic will have to be involved, since they\u2019re so absurdly overpowered combined.\u00a0 Ulk and Ulverine will also be unleashed as anti-heroes needed to stop a power-hungry turned bad Hulkerine, <\/em>and in the end, he\u2019ll be captured and banished to The Negative Zone, which is Marvel\u2019s convenient exile for problematic characters, both canonically and metaphorically.<\/span><\/p>\n

Either way, I\u2019d wager money that this idea is one that will be regretted, frowned down upon, and make even Stan Lee chuckle maniacally at the sad bastardization of his original ideas.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ll be the first to admit that I\u2019m a long way from the days when I used to really, really follow comic books.\u00a0 When I\u2019m bored at the desk, I\u2019ll often times wander over to Wikipedia and catch up on how absurd comic storylines are getting, and more often than not, I\u2019m disappointed in the … Continue reading This Hulk-Wolverine combination can\u2019t be real, can it?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[140,45,49],"class_list":["post-44768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-comics","tag-fail","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44768","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44768"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44768\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44770,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44768\/revisions\/44770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44768"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44768"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44768"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}