{"id":45351,"date":"2017-09-08T22:27:55","date_gmt":"2017-09-09T02:27:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45351"},"modified":"2020-08-03T22:28:06","modified_gmt":"2020-08-04T02:28:06","slug":"fire-emblem-heroes-sucks-jihadist-balls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45351","title":{"rendered":"Fire Emblem Heroes sucks jihadist balls"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

I just needed to get this off my chest.<\/span><\/p>\n

Much like someone in an abusive relationship, I\u2019m still playing Fire Emblem Heroes<\/em>, much like I\u2019m still playing Pok\u00e9mon Go<\/em>.\u00a0 They\u2019re on my phone, they\u2019re easy to play, and I\u2019m often the type of person who sticks to things for the long hauls, despite my oft-occasional disdain for the games that I\u2019m allowing to suck up my time.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, as far as FEH goes, I\u2019ve made no secret about how I think the game\u2019s gatchapon system is pretty much utter bullshit, and that it\u2019s neigh impossible to get any of the most heralded characters in the game; Takumi, Azura, Hector, etc, etc.\u00a0 Above all else, I covet a Hector, so that I can construct my ideal dream team of tanks with an Effie and a Draug, that can counter from anywhere and can slowly, but surely enclose on enemy units and eviscerate them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But in order to get there, I need a Hector.\u00a0 Who\u2019s basically a unicorn that I\u2019m convinced doesn\u2019t actually exist for players, and that anyone who has him is like a Chinese hacker or something who got him through illegal means.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This hasn\u2019t been any more evident to me than my latest FEH experiment, where I dutifully hoarded orbs for a good bit of time, waiting for a time when Hector would be a \u201cfocus summon,\u201d which is to say that the supposed 3% chance of getting him or any 5-star+ is bumped up to an extremely generous<\/em> 5%.<\/span><\/p>\n

Through studious hoarding and a staunch refusal to use orbs because I\u2019m frankly tired of being disappointed and let down by the game, I got to a point where I had around 250 orbs to use.\u00a0 And I made a rule that I wouldn\u2019t bother doing a full five summons per pull, regardless of the whole notion that it\u2019s more economical to summon all five picks for 20 total, instead of pulling out and trying repeatedly.\u00a0 The game is horrifically imbalanced in color distribution, and the game insists on giving you red units endlessly while being stingier than a joke about Jews when it comes to distributing greens, which naturally Hector is.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, with 250 orbs in tow, FEH rolled out a summoning theme in which Hector was a focus summon.\u00a0 So with my gargantuan 2% chance increase, I decided that it was time to try for my Hector.\u00a0 Surely, with this many chances, I should have better odds right?<\/span><\/p>\n

If you thought \u201cyes,\u201d then clearly you\u2019ve never played a mobile game before.\u00a0 Out of the roughly 50 summons my 250 orbs afforded me, I drew the following:<\/span><\/p>\n