{"id":45470,"date":"2017-11-17T16:07:37","date_gmt":"2017-11-17T20:07:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45470"},"modified":"2020-08-04T16:07:47","modified_gmt":"2020-08-04T20:07:47","slug":"life-is-complicated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45470","title":{"rendered":"Life is complicated"},"content":{"rendered":"

I specifically earmarked this particular day to write about how I was about to embark on a vacation back to Korea, with a brief stop in the Philippines, and how excited I was.\u00a0 It was exciting to be going back to the Motherland, because I had such an amazing time when I went for the first time last year, and I was really pumped up about this time going with mythical gf, since she\u2019s such a Koreeb, and it would be fun to kind of witness the excitement of a first visit through her eyes as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is a trip that had been planned for the better part of the entire 2017 year, where lots of money, planning and more money had gone into nailing down travel and lodging in order to get the optimal prices at the optimal times in order to accommodate both our work schedules and allotted vacation times.\u00a0 But it was done a long time ago, and since then, it\u2019s always been the constant milestone to look forward to, the thing we\u2019ve been counting down the months, then the weeks, and then the days, up until today, when we eventually embark.<\/span><\/p>\n

But as its often said, life doesn\u2019t operate in a vacuum, and an infinite number of things exist all around us at any given time.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really know to segue to it in a smoother transition, but based on the title of this post alone, it should be expected that an unfortunate turn is bound to happen.\u00a0 But there\u2019s a medical issue in my family and to cut to the chase, there is an uncertainty on the amount of time this person has left.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As far as I\u2019m concerned, this could not possibly have happened at any worse of a time, but naturally I am not the actual person concerned.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t make it suck any less that a life hangs in the uncertain balance, and I\u2019m in a trapped feeling position of not knowing what I can do, because life isn\u2019t about me, there are others involved, and every choice affects others in a variety of manners.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Basically, I\u2019m in a position of either canceling my entire vacation, likely eating a fuck ton of money in the process, and instead going to be with my family where we can collectively hope for the best despite the fact that the worst is the expectation at this point.\u00a0 The best would obviously be the best, but without the worst, then the full repercussions of all the cancellations are concrete, and there are no refunds on anything, but then that also involves the loss of a life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or, I go on the vacation that I\u2019d planned and been looking so forward to, and always have in the back of my mind wondering if I made the right choice, and constantly be worried about the status of my family while I\u2019m abroad, fearing for the worst.\u00a0 And if the worst should happen, would I want to know or will my family even let me know, knowing that I\u2019m on a vacation?<\/span><\/p>\n

Neither choice is a good one, and I\u2019m aware of how shitty it sounds comparing dollars to the value of life itself, but there\u2019s a lot of internal debate on how unfair life is being at this current juncture, and just how it all feels.<\/span><\/p>\n

By the blessing of the one most involved, I\u2019m still going to go on the vacation, because they\u2019re selfless like me, and really, really doesn\u2019t want me to forfeit living my own life at the sake others, even themselves.\u00a0 Perspective says that I would definitely request similar of others if the circumstances were reversed.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t change the fact that I\u2019m probably not going to really be able to fully enjoy it, out of concern for them, and always wonder if I did the right thing, especially if things take a turn for the worst.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I didn\u2019t have to feel this way right before a vacation, but I kind of hate everything currently.\u00a0 Life is most certainly complicated, and it sure as shit isn\u2019t fair, but we all know that already.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I specifically earmarked this particular day to write about how I was about to embark on a vacation back to Korea, with a brief stop in the Philippines, and how excited I was.\u00a0 It was exciting to be going back to the Motherland, because I had such an amazing time when I went for the … Continue reading Life is complicated<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,71,103,177,68,65,166],"class_list":["post-45470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-famiry","tag-motherland","tag-mythical","tag-tragedy","tag-travel","tag-vacation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45470","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45470"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45470\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45471,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45470\/revisions\/45471"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}