{"id":45577,"date":"2017-12-21T21:00:43","date_gmt":"2017-12-22T01:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45577"},"modified":"2020-08-04T21:00:58","modified_gmt":"2020-08-05T01:00:58","slug":"god-bless-rednecks-sometimes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45577","title":{"rendered":"God bless rednecks, sometimes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Bumper Pool has decided to commit to the University of Arkansas.\u00a0 In other news, there is a person whose name is \u201cBumper Pool.\u201d<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Frankly, I would never have come across this story if not for the fact that the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has basically turned into an auxiliary SEC football website.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m a fan of college football as much as the average Georgian male is, but shit Tyrone<\/a>, can we have a flagship newspaper whose website actually covers, the news?\u00a0 Instead of endless articles about college football?\u00a0 And not just exclusive to football in the state Georgia, or to the SEC, we\u2019re getting fucking articles about Arkansas football too?<\/span><\/p>\n

Not going to lie, I\u2019m green with envy when I think about all the major markets in the United States that have large, reputable newspaper companies that actually cover major, relevant local news.\u00a0 The New York Times, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Los Angeles Times; and even sources like the Boston Herald or the Miami Herald have more credibility than the fucking AJC.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I\u2019m sidetracking here (shocker), because if not for the fact that the AJC can\u2019t stop talking about college football, I would never have found a story like this to write about in the first place – a kid named \u201cBumper Pool.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Shocking nobody, this kid was clearly named by rednecks.\u00a0 A cursory Google search<\/a> reveals that Bumper is his actual given name, and that Bumper Pool and his family are from Texas, which is about as surprising as finding out it\u2019s dark at night.\u00a0 But that\u2019s the first thought that comes to mind, on whether or not Bumper is his real name, or if it\u2019s just one of those nicknames that sticks throughout life.\u00a0 But according to dad, Bumper is most certainly his real name, and I have to feel like his dad must be some kind of asshole who really thought it would be funny, cool, trolling or all of the above, to name his kid \u201cBumper\u201d despite the fact that the family name was Pool.<\/span><\/p>\n

Honestly, I would\u2019ve figured that he must\u2019ve been conceived on a bumper pool table or something; after all, we are talking about rednecks here, a story like that would be about as out of the ordinary as the local Wal-Mart actually having ammunition available and ready upon a casual visit.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, in spite of the ironically unfortunate name, it hasn\u2019t stopped \u2018ol Bumper from amounting to something, as he\u2019s clearly grown into a fairly coveted and touted defensive recruit for football colleges.\u00a0 For reasons I don\u2019t care enough to find out, for whatever reason, he\u2019s chosen Arkansas to be where he wants to play.\u00a0 It\u2019s a good thing that the interest is mutual and that they\u2019re willing to take him on, and it\u2019s fortuitous that he\u2019s going to get into an SEC program, which is only going to maximize his exposure and potential to grow<\/span><\/p>\n

But still, Arkansas?\u00a0 Despite being from Texas?\u00a0 Those are some odd allegiances to chase, but as is probably often the case with this guy and his family, his name is \u201cBumper Pool;\u201d who\u2019s really going to question the choices he makes in life?<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever though, good luck to Bumper Pool.\u00a0 Hopefully he\u2019ll amount to something, and maybe one day in the next four years, when I\u2019m watching an SEC game, I\u2019ll see Bumper Pool bust some coverage and let Alabama or South Carolina score a touchdown, and I\u2019ll be reminded of this guy I once bragged about because his redneck family named their kid \u201cBumper Pool.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bumper Pool has decided to commit to the University of Arkansas.\u00a0 In other news, there is a person whose name is \u201cBumper Pool.\u201d Frankly, I would never have come across this story if not for the fact that the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has basically turned into an auxiliary SEC football website.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m … Continue reading God bless rednecks, sometimes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[106,49],"class_list":["post-45577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-football","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45577","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45577"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45577\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45579,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45577\/revisions\/45579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}