{"id":45875,"date":"2018-05-19T09:55:19","date_gmt":"2018-05-19T13:55:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45875"},"modified":"2020-08-07T10:00:12","modified_gmt":"2020-08-07T14:00:12","slug":"the-whitest-weekend-ever-vol-113064","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=45875","title":{"rendered":"The Whitest Weekend Ever, vol. ~113,064"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Every now and then I feel like the world gets a little too oversaturated in white people things.\u00a0 I mean I know white people like to believe that the entire planet revolves around them, and they go through extraordinary measures to keep things feeling that way, but every now and then I feel like the cauldron burns extra hot and the bullshit bubbles over to the point where it needs to be pointed out how excessive they\u2019re being.<\/span><\/p>\n

This past weekend was a good example of just how white things were getting, and how, at least to the eyes of this not-white person, how either frightening, obnoxious, insufferable or all of the above, it feels to be alive in this world while not also white.<\/span><\/p>\n

So Friday<\/strong> kicks off with the very white past time of shooting up a school<\/a>, where I didn\u2019t have to wait for the release of any names to take bets that the shooter was probably white.\u00a0 Sure, he had a very Greek name, but when the day is over, he still fuckin\u2019 white.<\/span><\/p>\n

At this point, there\u2019s really not much else to say about school shootings and gun control.\u00a0 Considering there\u2019s a shooting incident at a school at almost a weekly basis now, after the incident in Florida it wasn\u2019t so much of an if it ever happens again, it was always a matter of when it was going to happen again.\u00a0 After Texas, it\u2019s not a matter of false promises, and the also-very white past time of saying thoughts and prayers; at this point, it\u2019s not if this is going to happen again, it\u2019s simply that the days without incident sign<\/a> just gets reset to zero.<\/span><\/p>\n

Saturday<\/strong> morning featured something that I haven\u2019t seen white people get so excited and hot and bothered about in previous iterations, with the Royal Wedding between Prince Ginger and that chick from Suits<\/em>, one of the few USA Network shows to stand on its own without the WWE crutch.\u00a0 Seriously, it was kind of astonishing to me just how much white people cared about the marriage between two people in England, over absolutely anything and everything happening in the United States, like the high school shooting that occurred less than 24 hours previously, but they really seemed to be making a tremendous deal about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t really remember people talking about viewing parties when Prince William got married, or all the lame desperate housewife morning network shows spending so much time talking about how to get the most out of your royal wedding viewing parties, but then again I cared about as much of that wedding as I did this one.\u00a0 But for what it\u2019s worth, it wasn\u2019t just people on television or the scuttlebutt chatter of people talking about the upcoming royal wedding, it\u2019s people in my workplace, and people heard in public that are interested in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Again, I\u2019m astounded how much people care about people who have zero impact on their daily lives, much less exist on the same continent, but I\u2019m not the least bit surprised that the vast majority of people who do, are white.\u00a0 It\u2019s convenient how the media tends to forget that Harry was pretty much an asshole all through his growing up and through adolescence, and presumably still probably is in more private company, but that\u2019s kind of the benefit of being royally white I suppose.\u00a0 But Megan Markle isn\u2019t as entirely fortunate, and I have to admit I\u2019ve gotten a kick out of just how frequently British media likes to take stabs at the roles she\u2019s portrayed in her acting career, most notably the scene in the shitty 90210 remake<\/a>, where she was giving some Ryan Jones a blowie in the car.\u00a0 Even though it\u2019s a scene in a role, it\u2019s still kind of arousing to think of the newest member of the royal family fellating dudes in cars.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then on Sunday<\/strong>, we had Preakness, which there\u2019s fewer things on the planet that could possibly be whiter than horse racing.\u00a0 Never mind the inhumane nature of horse racing itself, I don\u2019t even have to Google search the phrase to know that the event was an atom bomb of white privilege, where a bunch of Chads and Ryan Joneses paraded around in pastel seer sucker suits and their Trishas and Kierstens took selfies and made duck faces in tacky sundresses and abnormally large white people hats.\u00a0 Everyone got drunk, at least ten women got roofied, and some horses ran in the background which one of them will probably die trying to win the triple crown of white people horse races.<\/span><\/p>\n

Frankly, I\u2019d rather see a foot race between privileged white people than seeing horses race.\u00a0 At least under their own manpower, a footrace between actual people would undoubtedly result in lots of cheating, physical altercations and probably a whole lot more entertainment than watching jacked up horses run while getting mercilessly cropped by some short white guys that don\u2019t classify as little people.<\/span><\/p>\n

But anyway, this was undoubtedly a whitest weekend ever for the ages; Preakness might be an annual event, but it\u2019s not too often that it would sit on the same weekend as a royal wedding.\u00a0 Lord only knows how many more kissing cousins in that inbred family are left for the media to latch onto next.\u00a0 But the cherry on top is the wild card for mass shootings by a white person, that just so happened to fall on the exact same weekend, which most certainly makes this a once-in a whitey kind of weekend, that just goes to show just how insufferably delusional white culture sometimes is.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every now and then I feel like the world gets a little too oversaturated in white people things.\u00a0 I mean I know white people like to believe that the entire planet revolves around them, and they go through extraordinary measures to keep things feeling that way, but every now and then I feel like the … Continue reading The Whitest Weekend Ever, vol. ~113,064<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[83],"class_list":["post-45875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-observations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45875","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45875"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45875\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45877,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45875\/revisions\/45877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}