{"id":46558,"date":"2019-04-16T21:06:02","date_gmt":"2019-04-17T01:06:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=46558"},"modified":"2020-08-10T21:10:38","modified_gmt":"2020-08-11T01:10:38","slug":"i-feel-like-a-lack-of-time-is-all-part-of-being-adults","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=46558","title":{"rendered":"I feel like a lack of time is all part of being adults"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever I take the time to write, it\u2019s usually because I\u2019ve built myself a nice little cushion of time to where I can write, fairly uninterrupted, for anywhere from 45-90 minutes.\u00a0 That, has not happened in quite some time, and therefore I have not really taken the time to write, which in itself gives me a little bit of anxiety, because I don\u2019t ever want to fall out of the habit of writing, because writing is important to me, and it makes me anxious when I haven\u2019t done it in a while.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s literally been two weeks since the last time I sat down and did any sort of writing.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t to say that there\u2019s been nothing interesting or worth writing about, although I will say that the usual bullshit that occurs in Atlanta and\/or Georgia itself has been a little on the dull side or a little too darkly serious side, like the prehistoric anti-abortion laws they\u2019re pushing, which are things that I don\u2019t really feel remotely capable of speaking about.\u00a0 I ran in my first-ever official half marathon, the Star Wars half at Disney World.\u00a0 UVA won a national championship in an actual sport (basketball).\u00a0 Women, main evented Wrestlemania<\/em>, with Becky Lynch winning both women\u2019s championships from Charlotte and Ronda Rousey.\u00a0 Tiger Woods won the Masters and proved that winning shit in sports absolves anyone of their personal indiscretions because they\u2019re totally related.\u00a0 Game of Thrones<\/em> embarked on their final season, and the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris almost burned down, because bad shit always tends to happen this time of year.<\/span><\/p>\n

Things, have most definitely been happening all around the world; it\u2019s just that I really haven\u2019t been able to build that cushion that I always tend to want in order to do some writing, because it never seems like there\u2019s ever any time in the day for me do such.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s the increased responsibilities and the seemingly endless parade of little and large tasks that I have at work, meetings after meetings, I barely have the time to have proper lunches on a daily basis, much less be able to eat food and type words at the same time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And then when I get home, whether or not I have to cook dinner or an endless litany of small tasks and daily chores that I feel the need to do in order to have a somewhat kept house, that by the time I\u2019m done with everything, I\u2019m at that awkward point of the day in which I don\u2019t feel like I have enough time to write, or watch anything other than a 30-minute program on Netflix, because I should probably start considering going to bed in order to be a responsible adult and not be tired during work.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

In all fairness, I do prioritize some pretty stupid things when I say a litany of little things and tasks, like making sure I do my daily Fire Emblem Heroes<\/em> missions, or sitting at my laptop and looking at email and doing the rounds of my daily bookmarks.\u00a0 But then there\u2019s all sorts of actual things that need to get done on a regular basis, like spending time with the dogs outside and cleaning up their shit, doing laundry, and some basic spot cleaning around the home that always seems to suck up 20 minutes at a time for each.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then I\u2019m out of time.\u00a0 Wash, rinse, repeat.\u00a0 Get excited when it\u2019s Friday, but then don\u2019t actually relax during the weekend, because there\u2019s all sorts of odd jobs, wedding tasks, or in the case of more recently, freelance work, and then bam, it\u2019s Sunday afternoon, and I\u2019m already thinking about preparing for the week ahead.<\/span><\/p>\n

All while my writing has fallen behind, which is never a far thought from my mind, making me keep count of how many days it\u2019s been since the last time I took the time to write anything.<\/span><\/p>\n

All things considered, this isn\u2019t to say that my life is meaningless or going bad; far from it, actually, it\u2019s just that I don\u2019t feel like I have as much time as I\u2019d like to in order to keep up with writing.\u00a0 Frankly, I appreciate being busy, but it\u2019s just that it\u2019s feeling like it\u2019s getting to the point where I\u2019m busy to the point where I simply don\u2019t have a whole lot of time to wind down, and feel like life is catching up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wedding planning, has understandably taken up the vast majority of my time away from work, as it\u2019s the goal of mythical fianc\u00e9e and I to do as much as we can on the front end so that by the time June rolls around, there (hopefully) won\u2019t be such a monumental amount of work to do then.\u00a0 But it\u2019s definitely been a sometimes tiring experience, wrangling people, and trying to get in touch with people, and waiting for people to respond to RSVPs, and basically, dealing with people in general.\u00a0 It makes me understand why there are some people who elope, or just go have courthouse ceremonies.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it\u2019s still exciting all the same, and I\u2019m looking forward to it genuinely, and I\u2019m hoping it\u2019ll be a memorable and fun event for all involved, and aside from the obvious, I\u2019m looking forward to getting a lot of my friends together, because it\u2019s clear we\u2019re all at that age where gathering happens fewer and further between, and a wedding seems like good of excuse as any for it to happen, even if it\u2019s for seemingly the last time for another long period.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, it\u2019s like no matter how much people tell you, and how much expectations we\u2019re told, it never really sinks in until you\u2019re in the thick of things of just how expensive weddings get.\u00a0 I mean I knew it was going to be a lot of money, but I think what isn\u2019t really explained is sure, there are some pretty hard hitting single expenses here and there, but ultimately, I feel like the bigger drag is the nickels and dimes that I feel like I\u2019m constantly bleeding out over the last few months that are kind of the real pain.\u00a0 It\u2019s like, just give me some up-front numbers that I can front or ask my dad to help with, so they can just be put to bed and not have to deal with.<\/span><\/p>\n

That said, that\u2019s why freelance is helping.\u00a0 A year ago, my tax return and freelance projects were basically fuck you money that I spent going towards large expenses, vacations, wrestling belts and occasional frivolous shit.\u00a0 Obviously, I can\u2019t talk about it while it\u2019s still in progress, but I\u2019m excited about the project itself, and the money that is coming in after I\u2019m done will definitely be welcome to help recoup some of the money I\u2019ve been fronting for the wedding.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also, getting back to bad things that tend to happen this time of year, that\u2019s clearly<\/em> because my birthday is this week.\u00a0 I\u2019m turning 37.\u00a0 I actually have stumbled a few times, thinking about this, not exactly being accurate in remembering my actual age.\u00a0 I once thought that I was turning 38, and had to stop and think about it to remember that I had accidentally given myself another unwelcome year.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do with my birthday.\u00a0 I never do.\u00a0 I rarely know what I want, if I want anything, and more often than I\u2019d like to admit, I occasional feel disappointment if the day doesn\u2019t go swimmingly, like I\u2019ve wasted an opportunity to do something cool, but don\u2019t feel like I should have to cash in birthday cards in order for them to happen.\u00a0 So I try to tell myself that it\u2019s no big deal, despite the fact that I wish I could feel like it was, which might actually make the world around me think it was too.\u00a0 But that\u2019s not really me, to demand a spotlight.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever though.\u00a0 I think I feel like I\u2019ve caught things up, up to speed a little bit.\u00a0 In short, the world is most certainly moving all around us, but in my own little world within it, not a whole lot is really going on.\u00a0 I work, I come home and do different types of work, go to sleep, and then repeat the next day.\u00a0 The weekends afford me a little bit more sleep, but unless there\u2019s something planned in advance, there\u2019s not a tremendous amount that different, before the next week embarks.\u00a0 Life is not bad by any stretch of the imagination, and the fact that wedding planning is consuming the majority of the time when I\u2019m not working is not a bad thing, because I\u2019m hoping it\u2019s going to be memorable in all the best possible ways when the day finally comes.<\/span><\/p>\n

But damn would it be nice to have a little bit more time here and there, so I can do nothing with it.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whenever I take the time to write, it\u2019s usually because I\u2019ve built myself a nice little cushion of time to where I can write, fairly uninterrupted, for anywhere from 45-90 minutes.\u00a0 That, has not happened in quite some time, and therefore I have not really taken the time to write, which in itself gives me … Continue reading I feel like a lack of time is all part of being adults<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,67,94,37,41,133,32,69,146,54],"class_list":["post-46558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-birthday","tag-graphic-design","tag-job","tag-movies","tag-old-man","tag-running","tag-television","tag-triggered","tag-wrestling"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46558"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46558\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46560,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46558\/revisions\/46560"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}