{"id":46795,"date":"2020-01-10T21:34:35","date_gmt":"2020-01-11T01:34:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=46795"},"modified":"2020-08-12T21:34:45","modified_gmt":"2020-08-13T01:34:45","slug":"this-car-fucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=46795","title":{"rendered":"This car FUCKS"},"content":{"rendered":"

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A long time ago, there was a guy my then-group of friends knew that got a Subaru Impreza.\u00a0 He was one of those guys that at the time, nobody really cared a tremendous amount about, but nobody really had the heart to tell him to fuck off.\u00a0 Plus, as long as he felt included in the group, he could always be relied upon to bring food and\/or snacks to any sort of arranged gatherings.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, aside from the fact that he bought an automatic transmission, we often passive-aggressively clowned on him for his car, because that\u2019s what a bunch of Initial D<\/em>-inspired auto enthusiasts did amongst each other.\u00a0 Other points of ridicule were how he got his car literally months before the WRX was unleashed, how he got a huge speeding ticket in Pennsylvania for driving like a retard, and the time he wrecked because he thought AWD made him invincible.<\/span><\/p>\n

My favorite method of trolling him was that I often times told him that he made a mistake getting an Impreza, and that the real coup of coolness would\u2019ve been if he had gotten a Forester instead; the Impreza\u2019s dorky but more utilitarian older brother.\u00a0 Sure, the Forester was definitely more of a family car, but it was always fun to glorify the cargo room and the utility of the Forester over his Impreza.<\/span><\/p>\n

The best was when we discovered the existence of a Forester STI, that Subaru released overseas, which was a jacked-up high-performance variant of the Forester, which not only retained all the utility of the original Forester, but had all sorts of performance upgrades that made it like two classes above what this guy got in his automatic Impreza.\u00a0 That\u2019s<\/em> the car he should\u2019ve gotten instead.<\/span><\/p>\n

Needless to say, since then, I\u2019ve always carried somewhat of a positive connotation with the Forester, even if it stemmed from ironic, griefing purposes.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Out at a Singapore car show<\/a>, Subaru unveiled a brand-new Subaru Forester: the Forester Ultimate Customised Kit Specialedition<\/strong>.\u00a0 To which if you\u2019re paying attention the acronym makes it the Subaru FUCKS.<\/span><\/p>\n

Honestly, there\u2019s not much to say about it, in spite of the bold, hard-hitting obviousness of that it\u2019s literally been called the FUCKS.\u00a0 When something is so obvious and blunt, there\u2019s not much to add to it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Subaru claims innocence and no involvement of the name, but I find that hard to believe.\u00a0 Ultimately, this seems more likely to be one of those fake narratives where the name is a marketing ploy designed to create buzz and make people talk about it, because it definitely has the internet looking and talking about the Subaru FUCKS.<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, if the FUCKS were available in America, it most definitely would\u2019ve been put on my short list of cars to consider when I was looking, because I was most definitely looking at cars that were in the class of the FUCKS.\u00a0 And because I basically have the mental capacity of a 14-year old, the simple fact that the car was called a Subaru FUCKS would have definitely given it a lot of weight, and most definitely would\u2019ve kept it in contention, at least unless it test drove horribly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Either way, the main reason I wanted to post about this wasn\u2019t just the fact that I\u2019m basically 14-years old, but it sets up so perfectly the opportunity to make the Russ Hanneman analogy<\/a> that this car FUCKS.\u00a0 Can\u2019t ever pass up the opportunity to make good Silicon Valley<\/em> analogies or references.\u00a0 Mike Judge is so awesome.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A long time ago, there was a guy my then-group of friends knew that got a Subaru Impreza.\u00a0 He was one of those guys that at the time, nobody really cared a tremendous amount about, but nobody really had the heart to tell him to fuck off.\u00a0 Plus, as long as he felt included in … Continue reading This car FUCKS<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[159,131,51,124],"class_list":["post-46795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-advertising","tag-branding","tag-cars","tag-trolls"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46795"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46797,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46795\/revisions\/46797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}