{"id":47288,"date":"2020-09-14T09:11:31","date_gmt":"2020-09-14T13:11:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=47288"},"modified":"2020-09-14T09:11:31","modified_gmt":"2020-09-14T13:11:31","slug":"new-father-brogging-020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=47288","title":{"rendered":"New Father Brogging, #020"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

As many parents of babies go through, I change a tremendous amount of diapers.\u00a0 It is nothing that has ever worried me the least bit about impending parenthood, and I don\u2019t really see what the big deal is all about honestly.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking it has a lot to do with the fact that I\u2019ve been a pet owner for the better part of the last 20+ years, and cleaning the pee and poop of animals has conditioned me to where baby human excrement seems like nothing at all, especially since it\u2019s mostly encapsulated inside of diapers.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, what I wanted to new dad brog about today was the fact that over the span of the last six months, I\u2019ve gotten to give some pretty good sampling to several baby wipes varieties out on the market, and I think I\u2019ve become somewhat qualified to be able to rate and impart my opinions on my zero readers, in case the day comes in which they are in the market for baby wipes and decide to use my ratings as a baseline to sway their opinions.<\/span><\/p>\n

I judge based on performance criteria, and not necessarily cost; mythical wife had gone through months of cerebral couponing and deal-hunting to stock up on baby supplies prior to the arrival of our child, so the factor of cost was somewhat irrelevant by the time we got to starting to use all the supplies that we\u2019d hoarded, plus it\u2019s safe to say that at no point have we ever paid full price on any baby wipes.<\/span><\/p>\n

So the things that I judge baby wipes are on:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Thickness<\/em> \u2013 too thin and you\u2019re wearing excrement; too thick and you might as well be trying to wedge a beach towel into the sensitive areas of your baby<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Softness<\/em> \u2013 the softer the better as babies\u2019 skin is delicate and gentle, especially down there<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Moisture<\/em> \u2013 too little and you might as well be using sandpaper, too much and you\u2019re leaving too much moisture which could lead to irritation<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. And most importantly, when your baby has exploded, and you\u2019ve only got one hand free because the other hand is holding their legs up so they don\u2019t dip their heels into feces, how well the packaging dispenses<\/em>, because I\u2019m convinced that they\u2019re all perfectly engineered to sense urgency and make it impossible to pull out anything other than the entire fucking package<\/strong> when all you need is one at a time<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/p>\n

    Dollar General\u2019s Gentle Steps<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    Honestly, I didn\u2019t expect great things from these, as they are a private label brand that isn\u2019t tremendously known for their overall quality.\u00a0 But mythical wife has learned that DG is a couponer\/deal hunter\u2019s holy land, as through enough exploits, app usage and guile, it\u2019s entirely possible to regularly ream them for massive hauls at low costs, and at one point we got some of their baby wipes for basically pennies.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Thickness<\/em> \u2013 they\u2019re super thick which is helpful when cleaning up big poo, but overkill when it comes to average #1s<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. Softness<\/em> \u2013 not particularly soft either, almost like a very good quality pre-moistened restaurant napkin<\/span><\/li>\n
    3. Moisture<\/em> \u2013 they\u2019re moist enough, but combined with how thick they are, you have a very short pot life to use them, as they will dry out quickly<\/span><\/li>\n
    4. Their failure is what actually served to be the impetus to this post, as I\u2019d grown exasperated with how many wipe makers can\u2019t seem to make a good package that dispenses smoothly<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Needless to say, I\u2019m not being stingy with these particular wipes, and won\u2019t be sad to move onto the next package when we finally run through them.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Huggies Natural Care \/ Special Delivery<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

      \"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

      In all fairness, this ranks as low as it does not because they suck, it\u2019s just that I like all the others more.<\/span><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Thickness<\/em> \u2013 pretty thick, almost to a detriment<\/span><\/li>\n
      2. Softness<\/em> \u2013 pretty soft and glides smoothly on a baby\u2019s skin without causing any redness or irritation<\/span><\/li>\n
      3. Moisture<\/em> \u2013 decent moisture, but overall feels like a moist paper towel<\/span><\/li>\n
      4. Also does not perform well on the dispensing test, as when you need to get just one is when the perforations will betray you, and you\u2019ll yank out five sheets<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Huggies Special Delivery is basically the upgraded version of Natural Care, but made with more organic ingredients.\u00a0 Performance-wise, they\u2019re very similar, plus I don\u2019t feel like re-writing the same shit more or less because I\u2019m also tremendously lazy at moments like right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

        WaterWipes<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

        \"\"<\/p>\n

        These are what we started with, as our rationale was to use the most natural-sounding products first, to ease our little baby\u2019s body into the world, and since we have basically two primary changing stations in our house, one of them still exclusively is running WaterWipes until we run out.<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Thickness<\/em> \u2013 pretty thin, but that\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing, as you want agility when getting into the folds of a chonky baby<\/span><\/li>\n
        2. Softness<\/em> \u2013 fairly soft, as they\u2019re more like a fabric and not a soggy towel like all the brands that preceded this<\/span><\/li>\n
        3. Moisture<\/em> \u2013 WaterWipes are soaking wet, and I sometimes feel the need to let my baby air out for an extra minute or two before putting the diaper back on, because I don\u2019t want to trap moisture inside and cause potential irritation, and we\u2019re not powder users<\/span><\/li>\n
        4. Often fails on the dispensing test, and regularly I end up pulling anywhere from 3-5 extra wipes when all I ever want is one<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Pampers Sensitive \/ Pure<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

          \"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

          Like Huggies, I\u2019m consolidating these guys, because they\u2019re basically two levels of quality by the same maker.\u00a0 Sensitive is the regular, and Pure is basically the same thing, but made with higher quality ingredients, allegedly.<\/span><\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Thickness<\/em> \u2013 thin, but like WaterWipes, they\u2019re made of a fabric and not paper, so they\u2019re nimble and easy to use<\/span><\/li>\n
          2. Softness<\/em> \u2013 soft and gentle feeling<\/span><\/li>\n
          3. Moisture<\/em> \u2013 Where WaterWipes is too wet, Pampers goes the other direction, but when the day is over, I\u2019d rather have less moisture than too much, so I\u2019m happier with these than WaterWipes<\/span><\/li>\n
          4. Also does not perform well on the dispensing test, especially when you get towards the end of the package and the weight of their existence has crammed down onto the bottom, leading to more failures the lower you get<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            CVSHealth-branded Baby Wipes<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

            \"\"<\/p>\n

            No joke, these are the best wipes that I\u2019ve used so far.\u00a0 And to think mythical wife picked these up mostly because of expiring Extra Care bucks stacked on top of some other rando coupon she had, making these things cost maybe a quarter.<\/span><\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Thickness<\/em> \u2013 thin, but like WaterWipes and Pampers, are made from a fabric and not paper, which leads to good agility<\/span><\/li>\n
            2. Softness<\/em> \u2013 soft, kind of in between WaterWipes and Pampers in quality<\/span><\/li>\n
            3. Moisture<\/em> \u2013 decent moisture, not too wet and not too dry<\/span><\/li>\n
            4. Is the only packaging that dispenses well from first wipe to the last. Blew my mind at how consistently smooth I could pull for one sheet, and actually get one sheet, and when the shit hits the fan, performance in this area is very welcome<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              And there we have it; CVS\u2019s private label baby wipes beats all the competitors from major baby product manufacturers, and if it were up to me, and were remotely possible, I\u2019d swap out all of our existing wipes in our stockpile, for CVS\u2019s, because I change the vast majority of the diapers in this house, and I should get the biggest say on what we should be using in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

              As many parents of babies go through, I change a tremendous amount of diapers.\u00a0 It is nothing that has ever worried me the least bit about impending parenthood, and I don\u2019t really see what the big deal is all about honestly.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking it has a lot to do with the fact that I\u2019ve been … Continue reading New Father Brogging, #020<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[100,193,192,83],"class_list":["post-47288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-comparison","tag-dad","tag-kids","tag-observations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47288","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=47288"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47288\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47297,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47288\/revisions\/47297"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=47288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=47288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=47288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}