{"id":47573,"date":"2020-12-27T14:24:14","date_gmt":"2020-12-27T19:24:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=47573"},"modified":"2020-12-27T14:24:14","modified_gmt":"2020-12-27T19:24:14","slug":"i-want-a-machete","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=47573","title":{"rendered":"I want a machete"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Actually, I should rephrase that headline: I am getting a machete.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not particularly fond of doing any sort of yard work or landscaping.\u00a0 The idea of having a nice-looking property is, nice, but I don\u2019t particularly want to put forth the effort in doing it myself, and I don\u2019t particularly want to pay what I feel is outlandish rates and be locked into contracts with a landscaping company to have someone else do it for me.\u00a0 So it usually ends up with me doing the bare minimum to have a remotely passable yard, as in the grass remains cut, and the edges are barely maintained, but there\u2019s not much in terms of fresh mulch, neat little accents or any of the small things that make yards look pretty.<\/span><\/p>\n

But when things become what I think are necessity, then I guess I\u2019ll go ahead and put a little more effort into things.\u00a0 I have some shrubs that really need to be tamed, because I\u2019ve literally watched squirrels use them as a springboard onto my physical home and for those that know me, I fucking hate squirrels, and the idea of them infiltrating my home now makes me feel homicidal, so I need to nip this in the butt before it becomes problematic.<\/span><\/p>\n

Furthermore, my property is adjacent to county-owned land, so in some regards it\u2019s nice to not have a neighbor on one side of my house, but in the other hand, the county doesn\u2019t particularly do a good job of maintaining public land, so there\u2019s a good bit of brush and wild growth that has encroached onto my property that needs to be tamed as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

Needless to say, it\u2019s more work than a trimmer and blower would be capable of doing, but I don\u2019t want to spend the money to get some power tools for what is basically amounting to a single job.\u00a0 Frankly, in my mind, a good afternoon with a machete is what I really need, so I went online and ordered, a machete.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019ll be interesting when it gets here, because I\u2019ve never actually used a machete for its intended purpose, and only known of them for fantastical scenarios of killing zombies.\u00a0 In my mind, it\u2019ll be a gratifying, satisfying and a stress-reliever of an activity, hacking away at wild plants and shrubs, while at the same time bringing order to my property and gaining land back from the county.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I know there\u2019s an equally strong chance that I am underestimating the whole task, and that ten minutes in, I\u2019ll find that a machete isn\u2019t that efficient, or that there are some plants that are far too thick for a machete to be of much use, and I\u2019ll be exasperated and disappointed with the results, throw in the towel, and end up springing for some power tool(s), and just be behind on my anticipated timeline of getting this task done.<\/span><\/p>\n

I won\u2019t know until I try though. The machete is en route, and pretty soon we\u2019ll see if it\u2019s everything I hoped it would be, or if I\u2019m going to regret making this decision, and be angsty about the time and money wasted.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Actually, I should rephrase that headline: I am getting a machete. I\u2019m not particularly fond of doing any sort of yard work or landscaping.\u00a0 The idea of having a nice-looking property is, nice, but I don\u2019t particularly want to put forth the effort in doing it myself, and I don\u2019t particularly want to pay what … Continue reading I want a machete<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,121,145],"class_list":["post-47573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-homeownership","tag-zbs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47573","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=47573"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47573\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47575,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47573\/revisions\/47575"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=47573"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=47573"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=47573"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}