{"id":48300,"date":"2021-11-30T13:59:26","date_gmt":"2021-11-30T18:59:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=48300"},"modified":"2021-12-01T13:59:36","modified_gmt":"2021-12-01T18:59:36","slug":"2-under-2-life-as-an-amputee-074","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=48300","title":{"rendered":"2 Under 2: life as an amputee (#074)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

I did not actually amputate a limb, but I may as well have lost an arm, considering how my life is basically spent handcuffed to #2.\u00a0 <\/span>And frankly, this post could\u2019ve been titled life as a paraplegic, based on how her developing motor functions are teasing the evolution into baby death wish, where your kids actively try to lunge out of your single arm grasp, resulting in me needing two arms more and more often.<\/span><\/p>\n

If it\u2019s not obvious, this post comes from a place of angst and frustration, at just my sheer inability to accomplish, absolutely anything at all, because my entire current existence is primarily spent, metaphorically handcuffed to a 14 lb. baby.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, such is the utmost and most important priority, but I do still have personal goals and daily tasks that I\u2019d like to even have a modicum of a chance at being able to do, but can\u2019t on a regular basis, for the aforementioned reason.<\/span><\/p>\n

But when your kid fights nap time screaming bloody murder for 45 minutes, and then only sleeps for 15, all I can think about is wanting to blow my brains out because I can\u2019t accomplish anything at all because there\u2019s no fucking schedule and just endless chaos and I\u2019m trying to keep up a put-together facade when I\u2019m just feeling so dejected and exasperated inside so I write about it instead since nobody reads my shit so it\u2019s the perfect balance of expressing it but keeping it private still.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Honestly though, I really shouldn\u2019t be this aggravated. It\u2019s not like I have any clue of what to do with my time when not on dad duty anymore.\u00a0 <\/span>Sure, I\u2019d like to write more but it\u2019s hard for me to start if I know I could have 15 minutes or I could have 45, and even the threat of interruptions is usually enough to deter me from even starting.\u00a0 <\/span>Same applies to watching the endless queue of shows and movies that I\u2019d like to watch but probably will never get to because, kids. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So I usually sit directionless unable to start anything that probably needs some attention like Christmas shopping or putting together my own Christmas list for all inquiring parties, but I can\u2019t focus and I can\u2019t get anything done because I\u2019m pretty broken, and since I\u2019m on the unpaid portion of my leave, I\u2019m becoming pretty broke, and I end up feeling all dilapidated and like a failure because I\u2019m caving to my frustration and I\u2019m getting nothing done but bitching about how I think my life is so difficult.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(Written on my phone.\u00a0 <\/span>With mostly one hand<\/i>)<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I did not actually amputate a limb, but I may as well have lost an arm, considering how my life is basically spent handcuffed to #2.\u00a0 And frankly, this post could\u2019ve been titled life as a paraplegic, based on how her developing motor functions are teasing the evolution into baby death wish, where your kids … Continue reading 2 Under 2: life as an amputee (#074)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,193,192,52,105],"class_list":["post-48300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-dad","tag-kids","tag-owned","tag-rage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48300"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48300\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48302,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48300\/revisions\/48302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}