{"id":48303,"date":"2021-11-29T13:58:01","date_gmt":"2021-11-29T18:58:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=48303"},"modified":"2021-12-01T13:58:16","modified_gmt":"2021-12-01T18:58:16","slug":"i-dont-really-want-to-shop-this-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=48303","title":{"rendered":"I don\u2019t really want to shop this year"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

In years past, I enjoyed holiday time shopping.\u00a0 <\/span>I would scour the interwebs in advance and come up with plans of shit to purchase for myself, for famiry, for friends and whomever might actually warrant getting a gift for.\u00a0 <\/span>And by the time Thanksgiving rolled up, I would go start going gangbusters on purchasing things from all the retailers that might or might not have had early, Thanksgiving day, or Brack Friday deals.\u00a0 <\/span>By the time December rolled around, I was mostly done with my holiday shopping, save for those closest to me that I\u2019d want to keep getting things for maybe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Obviously, the big variable in those years past was the availability of time, and having the time to do research, think about other people, and to come up with plans, and seeing as how this year can mostly be summed up that as far as time goes, I just never fucking have any, and as a result, I look at holiday shopping and gift giving as something more a nuisance and an obligation, as much as it\u2019s something that I\u2019m feeling enthusiastic and eager to partake in.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes I understand how curmudgeon and shitty that sounds, but that\u2019s where I\u2019m at right now.\u00a0 <\/span>Overwhelmed, overworked, exhausted and perpetually pushed past my limits, that I\u2019m finding it incapable to enjoy things I\u2019ve enjoyed in the past, much less any and most of the little things that might\u2019ve lifted my spirits in the past.<\/span><\/p>\n

Additionally, I\u2019m not working now, as I opted to, and it turned out to be extremely essential, in taking my extended leave of absence from work beyond my normal paid paternity time, but that also means it\u2019s 1.5 months of not getting paid, as my job is secure, but the paychecks stop.\u00a0 <\/span>So I have financial concerns on top of everything else, and I\u2019m wondering what wells in which I should be pulling the necessary funds to make sure my famiry and loved ones can actually have some gifts from me, because we\u2019re all capitalists and all feel obligated to buy shit for one another.<\/span><\/p>\n

As the Thanksgiving week rolled around, my email box was bombarded by e-blasts and messages from retailers that I ordinarily would want to browse through.\u00a0 <\/span>Brack Friday prices now, extended, Cyber Monday, etc., etc., for an entire week.\u00a0 <\/span>Of course I wanted to look through and peruse and hope to find some shit for myself or my loved ones, but with what fucking time?\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t have any.\u00a0 <\/span>By the time I have any time to do anything of the sort, that time is spent cleaning shit and resetting shit for another day of parenting, before I\u2019m too gassed and tired to do anything else.<\/span><\/p>\n

As the week progressed, and in what fleeting moments I might\u2019ve had that I could have done something so frivolous, I was basically at the point where every commercial website I\u2019d go to had countdowns at the tops of their page ticking down the amount of time left that such deals would be in place.\u00a0 <\/span>And I hate working against clocks, much less visible ones, and then I\u2019d remind myself, with what fucking money? And then ultimately just start closing browser tabs, and sink back into my general hole of angst.<\/span><\/p>\n

Believe me, I don\u2019t like admitting all this stuff as much as I am putting it in writing for it to be immortalized, but that\u2019s where I\u2019m at.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s like, I only want to shop for my immediate household, and would like to be alleviated from the feeling of obligation to shop for anyone outside of it.\u00a0 <\/span>Because that\u2019s all my world really is these days, the people within my own walls, and I have no idea what anyone outside of it might want, or needing to exert thoughtfulness, because it\u2019s just adding unnecessary stress and anxiety to me, and I really don\u2019t need it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ultimately, I\u2019m going to just start kicking down doors and demanding ideas for what to get people, because we\u2019re still in a pandemic, I don\u2019t speak or interact with people enough to have ideas of thoughtful observational gifts, and I kind of just want to be done with needing to feel like I have to shop for others.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe, hopefully, in the future years, this\u2019ll go back to being typical slaves to capitalism, where we\u2019ll all be happy to throw our money around at shit nobody really needs, but at least we\u2019ll be in better spirits.<\/span><\/p>\n

Happy holidays!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In years past, I enjoyed holiday time shopping.\u00a0 I would scour the interwebs in advance and come up with plans of shit to purchase for myself, for famiry, for friends and whomever might actually warrant getting a gift for.\u00a0 And by the time Thanksgiving rolled up, I would go start going gangbusters on purchasing things … Continue reading I don\u2019t really want to shop this year<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,116,79,71,101,115],"class_list":["post-48303","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-brack-friday","tag-cashmoney","tag-famiry","tag-holidays","tag-thanksgiving"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48303"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48303\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48305,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48303\/revisions\/48305"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}