![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/evierussell.jpg\")
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Since starting my new job, things haven\u2019t been easy.\u00a0 I was provided the wrong laptop from the very start, which inhibited my ability to do the core of my work functions from the onset.\u00a0 My household also (likely) contracted the \u2018Rona, which I\u2019ve already said my piece about multiple times already, but I didn\u2019t want to bring that up just when I was starting my new job, fortunately everything\u2019s been remote still to this point.<\/span><\/p>\n Then, there was the bullet I realized that I had avoided from the old job with numerous of my former colleagues and reports getting axed that fucked my head up, because I\u2019ve come to the realization that my shitty old boss knew this was coming and had been planning for this for a while, and I just so happened to have gotten out before the hammer fell, but it doesn\u2019t change the fact that I have survivor\u2019s guilt as well as feel like some of my old reports are accusing me of knowing it was coming and not telling them, which couldn\u2019t be any further from the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n More recently, I\u2019ve found out that my dog has cancer, and until I get an ultrasound, won\u2019t really know the full extent of what we\u2019re dealing with, but given the fact that he\u2019s like 16 years old, things aren\u2019t looking too optimistic right now.<\/span><\/p>\n All while my second child is still a living nightmare when it comes to sleeping, as it\u2019s feeling nigh impossible to put her down for naps while I\u2019m on the clock at work, and I can\u2019t expect my nanny to handle the two under two remotely competently without compromising the care on one of them.<\/span><\/p>\n Needless to say, things have been pretty rough on my side, while I\u2019m on the clock, but the difference now is that I\u2019m the new guy at a job I\u2019ve just started, versus being the guy on his way out of a job I couldn\u2019t wait to get the fuck out of.\u00a0 My flakiness now, I give a shit about, and feel like shit that I\u2019m being flaky, because my head\u2019s not on straight because of all the bullshit going on and\/or my youngest being a gargantuan cockblock for my ability to work, because there\u2019s no way I can concentrate on work when she\u2019s screaming bloody murder instead of taking a fucking nap.<\/span><\/p>\n My new boss is chill, and probably would be understanding to some of the shit I\u2019m going through, seeing as she has children and dogs, and clearly isn\u2019t the micromanager that has it out for me in the first place.\u00a0 But at the same time, I don\u2019t want to unload all this baggage when I haven\u2019t even completed my first month with the company.<\/span><\/p>\n Although I\u2019m sure I would be okay and probably get some leniency and empathy, I just don\u2019t want to be like the emotional vampire from What We Do In the Shadows<\/em>, the girl who was Colin Robinson\u2019s office rival-then-fling, who always had some unfortunate shit happening to her, so she could siphon off the emotional energy of all the people in the office.\u00a0 Because that\u2019s what I feel like I would be, if I would make too much of my bullshit known, and I don\u2019t want to give that off, when I\u2019m still in the stage where I\u2019m still making first impressions everywhere I go.<\/span><\/p>\n But it really does suck just how inhibited I am sometimes while I\u2019m on the clock, because I really do want to hit the ground running and do better than I feel I\u2019m doing now.\u00a0 Ironically, as much as I don\u2019t want to go back in to the office, I feel like my productivity has a ceiling while I\u2019m at home, and if I really want to shine at new job, I think I\u2019m going to eventually have to embrace the need to go back.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Since starting my new job, things haven\u2019t been easy.\u00a0 I was provided the wrong laptop from the very start, which inhibited my ability to do the core of my work functions from the onset.\u00a0 My household also (likely) contracted the \u2018Rona, which I\u2019ve already said my piece about multiple times already, but I didn\u2019t want … Continue reading I don\u2019t want to be an emotional vampire<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,100,37,192,134,69],"class_list":["post-48418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-comparison","tag-job","tag-kids","tag-pets","tag-television"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48418"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48418\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48420,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48418\/revisions\/48420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}