![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/ATLairport5K.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I got this targeted ad for a local 5K run, because apparently one of the things I\u2019m susceptible to clicking are virtual runs that offer medals for completion.\u00a0 But from what I understand it\u2019s a 5K run that takes place on one of the runways of Atlanta\u2019s Hartsfield-Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Wing Emporium and Nail Salon Airport, which is actually really cool if you think about it; running 3.1 miles on an actual airport runway, without having to fear heavily armed security chasing you and then gunning you down for federal trespassing.<\/span><\/p>\n However, there\u2019s an extremely easy, low-hanging series of jokes about this run, seeing as how it\u2019s taking place at Atlanta\u2019s airport, which claims to be \u201cthe busiest\u201d airport in the world as if that\u2019s something to really brag about, but is also one of \u201cthe most criticized\u201d airports in the world as well, with everyone thinking they\u2019re a comedian when it comes to clowning on ol\u2019 ATL.<\/span><\/p>\n Like for example, how no runner should expect to actually start the run on time, but the clock will obviously keep ticking, so this would be the run where the very opposite of a PR would occur, and most runners would undoubtedly be horrendously late when it comes to crossing the finish line.<\/span><\/p>\n Critical sections of the runway will obviously be under construction, because when it comes to ATL, there\u2019s never no construction anywhere, and it\u2019s always in the worst possible places, and in spite of being the size of the entire place, the flow of people traffic will be packed like sardines and make everyone miserable.<\/span><\/p>\n There will be one portable toilet for every 200 runners, to simulate the rest of the airport where no matter what time of the day you\u2019re there, there\u2019s always a line for the restroom, with it being longer commensurate to how badly you have to go to the bathroom.<\/span><\/p>\n And so on and so on, when it comes to the litany of memes that exist when it comes to the topic of Atlanta airport.<\/span><\/p>\n But all things considered, I really am interested in this race.\u00a0 There\u2019s a zero percent chance I\u2019d actually do the live event, because even though it would be cool to run on a runway, ain\u2019t no fucking way I\u2019m trucking down to the airport and not actually going somewhere, because I don\u2019t go anywhere anymore because kids, and it\u2019s going to be a long time before I get to doing any in-person runs.<\/span><\/p>\n That being said, I am leaning heavily towards doing the virtual event, because there is a medal for doing this, and I feel like there\u2019s a lot of jokes to be had if I could get a medal with the ATL airport logo on it.\u00a0 It would be pretty awesome if the corresponding shirt leaned into the jokes, and it really was like Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Space Emporium, but that\u2019s a pipe dream, but it\u2019s alright because all I really care about are medals anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I got this targeted ad for a local 5K run, because apparently one of the things I\u2019m susceptible to clicking are virtual runs that offer medals for completion.\u00a0 But from what I understand it\u2019s a 5K run that takes place on one of the runways of Atlanta\u2019s Hartsfield-Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Wing Emporium and Nail Salon … Continue reading There\u2019s lots of easy jokes about this 5K<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[117,98,79,143,32],"class_list":["post-48916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-airports","tag-bathroom","tag-cashmoney","tag-ohatlanta","tag-running"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48916","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48916"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48916\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48918,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48916\/revisions\/48918"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}