![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/dod_sophieschoice.jpg\")
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Over the last few weeks, I\u2019ve been having some weird dreams.\u00a0 And when I say weird, I really mean more like fucked up, in the sense that in these dreams, there\u2019s killing going on.\u00a0 Someone is out to kill me.\u00a0 So I feel the need to kill them first.\u00a0 People getting killed.\u00a0 Animals getting killed.\u00a0 Guns.\u00a0 Strangulation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And with each time that a dream like these occur, I wake up feeling relieved that they were just dreams, and I don\u2019t even try to rationalize the notion that dreams are our brains trying to tell us things, because in no world do I want dreams about killing things to have any modicum of involvement in how I operate my life.<\/span><\/p>\n But the last dream I had, was also the most vivid one, the one that stood out the most, and the one that prompted actual writing to occur.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m in a zombie game.\u00a0 Basically I\u2019m in Left 4 Dead<\/em>\u2019s interface, but in this particular zombie universe, the rules are slightly different.\u00a0 Mainly, those who become infected, do not immediately have a fairly uniform amount of time before they inevitably turn into zombies themselves.\u00a0 Not all of them.<\/span><\/p>\n In this dream, for those who become infected, there is no uniform amount of time left before someone becomes a zombie themselves.\u00a0 For some people, it might be fairly instantaneous, but for some, it could be a few hours, the following morning, even a week, or even a month.\u00a0 Maybe longer.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Regardless, I imagine anyone could see the complications in such a mechanism there, because in all other forms of zombie literature and media, infection usually has a pretty predictable mortality clock on it, ranging from a few hours to several days, depending on the number of bites they\u2019ve incurred.\u00a0 So corresponding characters typically know that their time with the condemned is limited, and to start making peace with them while they\u2019re still with the living, before having to make the most difficult act ever.<\/span><\/p>\n But what if that predictable timeline didn\u2019t exist?\u00a0 What if when someone was infected, nobody had any idea of when they were going to turn?\u00a0 Could those bitten, simply continue to live their lives among the living until they would spontaneously expire?\u00a0 Could those around the bitten cope with living among bitten people, knowing that they could spontaneously drop and return as zombies and threaten their lives?<\/span><\/p>\n And that\u2019s where this dream had me placed.\u00a0 In a zombie-infested world, among the living, several of whom were bitten, and were, at least in this particular shelter, being allowed to live out.\u00a0 Me wrestling with my own thoughts and concerns over personal safety and the safety of others.\u00a0 Struggling to accept the fact that there were people who were on death\u2019s door, among us, still lucid, still alive, and still helping as best as they could.<\/span><\/p>\n I don\u2019t recall in the dream having to murder a living person, which I suppose is something to be relieved about, but it also didn\u2019t end without me having to pull the trigger a few times either.\u00a0 Someone had dropped and was convulsing, and in a zombie world, decisions need to be made quick, so I brought up my shotgun, and it was the hardest decision in the world I\u2019d ever made.\u00a0 The game itself seemed to have a last second are you sure function that effectively stopped my first trigger pull, forcing me to put something over the person\u2019s head before making a kill shot.<\/span><\/p>\n But because of the way things were, I\u2019m left wondering if I made the right choice.\u00a0 What if they were an epileptic and were just having a seizure or something?\u00a0 What if they weren\u2019t actually turning right then and there?\u00a0 Why the fuck am I having so many dreams lately of killings going on?<\/span><\/p>\n My alarm goes off, and it\u2019s time to let the dog out.\u00a0 Unlike most mornings, I\u2019m not happy to be woken up, but I am relieved to get out of yet another fucking weird killing dream, and hope this doesn\u2019t mean anything in the grand spectrum of things.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Over the last few weeks, I\u2019ve been having some weird dreams.\u00a0 And when I say weird, I really mean more like fucked up, in the sense that in these dreams, there\u2019s killing going on.\u00a0 Someone is out to kill me.\u00a0 So I feel the need to kill them first.\u00a0 People getting killed.\u00a0 Animals getting killed.\u00a0 … Continue reading Don\u2019t even want to consider the meanings behind these dreams<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,137,34,61,83,145],"class_list":["post-48951","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-death","tag-dreams","tag-l4d","tag-observations","tag-zbs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48951","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48951"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48951\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48953,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48951\/revisions\/48953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}