{"id":49325,"date":"2023-04-19T09:59:17","date_gmt":"2023-04-19T14:59:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=49325"},"modified":"2023-04-21T09:59:25","modified_gmt":"2023-04-21T14:59:25","slug":"the-birthday-post-circa-2023","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=49325","title":{"rendered":"The birthday post, circa 2023"},"content":{"rendered":"

I always get kind of bluesy around my birthday.\u00a0 It\u2019s like in one hand, I don\u2019t make a big deal about advertising it, but at the same time, I want others to know about it and maybe be nice to me for a day, but then again I almost feel more comfortable if people didn\u2019t know and didn\u2019t treat me any differently.\u00a0 Like nobody at work knows it\u2019s my birthday (at least I think) and I just want to go through my normal day without drawing any attention.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think what it really comes down to is the fact that I\u2019m not really comfortable being a center of attention, and that\u2019s typically what happens for a lot of people on their birthdays.\u00a0 It just makes me feel kind of cringey and awkward, and wondering who is coming out of the woodwork on social media to wish my a happy birthday because they mean it, or they feel obligated to do it because, and just how genuine it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

Growing up, birthdays never really meant much to my family beyond a certain age, and it\u2019s evident that I\u2019ve gotten my general ambivalence and weirdness about them from my parents, who never did anything for their respective birthdays during my upbringing, so it kind of stopped being a big deal to me around then, regardless of the fact that I\u2019ve tried sporadically to breathe some life into my birthday throughout my adult years.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also met and have people in my life whom I share the birthday or are close to others, and it\u2019s by no fault of anyone else, I just want to avoid the possibility of being envious of others and the things they do, by trying not to make a big deal of mine in the first place.\u00a0 It\u2019s like I\u2019m happier and more amenable to celebrate the birthdays of others than my own, regardless of the date or proximity to the date.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s the feeling of anticipation of a birthday, and the kind of melancholy disappointment of when it\u2019s passed and in the rear view, and knowing that it\u2019s going to be another year before we can hope for our specific day to come back, and hope that it\u2019s also good.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or maybe it\u2019s the dreading of growing older, and now that I\u2019m 41, I\u2019m still sometimes wondering what I\u2019m doing with my life, and wondering if what I\u2019m doing is good, successful, and has a promising future ahead of it, or if I\u2019ve put my life kind of on hold while I put all my importance on raising my children, because when it really comes down to it, they\u2019re the most important things in my life, and raising them well still takes precedence over everything else.<\/span><\/p>\n

Honestly, I don\u2019t really know what the point of this post is, or if there\u2019s even one at all.\u00a0 It\u2019s my birthday, and I just felt like writing about it, even if it\u2019s not particularly the most exciting, promising, or positive-feeling post I could possibly make.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s not much in the world that I have a want for, physically.\u00a0 Not even any more wrestling blets, because I pretty much have everything at this point.\u00a0 I guess I just want a general sense and feeling of comfort and happiness, and if I can just have a day where I can not get too stressed out, have a good workout, have some Willy\u2019s, and spend some happy time with my kids and wife, then I don\u2019t think I can really ask for much else.<\/span><\/p>\n

So here\u2019s 41 years old, hardly feels that much different than the last few years, but I suppose that\u2019s what life is going to be like until I can look forward to a better retirement portfolio or registering for AARP.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I always get kind of bluesy around my birthday.\u00a0 It\u2019s like in one hand, I don\u2019t make a big deal about advertising it, but at the same time, I want others to know about it and maybe be nice to me for a day, but then again I almost feel more comfortable if people didn\u2019t … Continue reading The birthday post, circa 2023<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[67,83,133],"class_list":["post-49325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-birthday","tag-observations","tag-old-man"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=49325"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49326,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49325\/revisions\/49326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=49325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=49325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=49325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}