![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/atl_airportcrowd.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
No.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n When I saw this article posed by Fox 5 Atlanta,<\/a> my actual reaction was haha no<\/em>, but I thought it would look funnier to just say no without the narrative laughter to put emphasize on how silly of a clown question such a notion was.<\/span><\/p>\n What the City of Atlanta does need is for its existing airport to get their shit together and not suck as much as it does on the regular.\u00a0 For years, I\u2019ve been saying that them claiming to be the busiest airport in the world isn\u2019t something they should be proud of, because in their case, their amount of busy is completely the result of the gargantuan amount of inefficiencies they have in just about every process they have in every square inch of the property.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019ve been to quite a number of America\u2019s airports, and without question, the logistical nightmare that is the parking and dropoff sections of Atlanta Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Nail Salon and Hot Wing Emporium is without argument the worst in the country.\u00a0 Just about every airport built by people with brains uses bridges and\/or multiple levels to circumvent the need for human beings to intersect with cars on the same plane, but not ATL, which still has a billion people crossing roads directed by rent-a-cops who don\u2019t know how to do their jobs, perpetuating a cycle of failure that leads to car buildup which leads to traveler anxiety, which leads to unhinged people meeting motor vehicles, going into an airport, which are already the most stressful places in the world.<\/span><\/p>\n Once inside, if you\u2019re not flying Delta, you\u2019re most likely going to be waiting in a massive carrier line if you didn\u2019t pre-check in to a flight and\/or have actual luggage.\u00a0 And even if you are flying Delta, you\u2019re most likely going to be waiting in a massive carrier line, because every single person who works for every airline and works at ATL, is a miserable power-tripping fuck whom you either get stellar customer service, provided you\u2019re not mouthing off to Your Grace, or you get treated like an asshole, regardless if you\u2019re not mouthing off to Your Grace.\u00a0 There is no rhyme or reason to it.<\/span><\/p>\n Next, worse than a Wal-Mart, they have like 30 TSA checkpoint gates, but at any given time whether it\u2019s the day before Thanksgiving or some rando-Tuesday afternoon, only four of them will actually be open, and at no point of existence does the airport not play down to their competition (travelers) and manage to be in a state of needing four hours advance time in order to make a flight on time.<\/span><\/p>\n Once you get past security, if you\u2019re not flying out of the T gates, you\u2019re going to need to ride the Plane<\/span> Pain Train to get to your appropriate terminal.\u00a0 There used to be trains every 90 seconds, but COVID gave them all the excuse in the world to slash their train operators and run a train every three minutes now, so it\u2019s basically a guarantee that you will board a train almost as full as a Japanese commuter, where nobody gives a fuck if you\u2019re elderly, pregnant or handicapped, you get on by any means necessary, or else you walk to each terminal individually a quarter mile<\/a> apart.<\/span><\/p>\n So now you get to your terminal.\u00a0 Smart travelers usually utilize this time, if they have any, to make sure to take care of things like bathroom needs and\/or food before hopping onto a flight, because neither is a guarantee once in the air.\u00a0 If you arrive to ATL for a 5-7 am flight, nothing is going to be open.\u00a0 If you arrive at 8, you\u2019ll be privileged to watch the morning crew blissfully and deliberately ignore you until 9 am while they blab and socialize instead of possibly opening up and start making money.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And then they\u2019ll work at a snail\u2019s pace the entire day because honestly, it doesn\u2019t matter how hard they work, the line will be wall-to-wall, so they\u2019re never going to give beyond the bare minimum effort.\u00a0 And then by 6 pm, they\u2019ll claim to be out of food for the day, close up shop and be out the door by 7, leaving the only options left usually being the McDonald\u2019s, Qdoba and Panda Express in the E gates, or people ransack the closest Hudson News of anything edible.<\/span><\/p>\n Oh and the bathrooms?\u00a0 Much like the rest of the airport, ATL\u2019s restrooms are most definitely the busiest bathrooms on the planet, and at no point on any day will you ever walk into a restroom and not find every single urinal and stall in use, and the appropriate response is to just hunker down and wait, because there\u2019s absolutely no guarantee it won\u2019t be the exact same result at the next one.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I hope you like your toilet seats pre-warmed by some other person\u2019s ass.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, you arrive at your gate, which will usually be completely packed by the entire world obviously going to the same destination you are, or by people who are over being crowded in their own gates and have come to occupy yours and refuse to yield their seat, because most likely, they are bogarting a power outlet to charge their phones so that they can listen to music or watch video without any headphones on and zero fucks to give to the people around them.<\/span><\/p>\n The gate agent will also be on a power trip, and lord have mercy on your soul if you are flying a budget airline like Spirit or Frontier, where the greatest pleasure of their days, as well as bystanders of higher intellects, are watching and hoping to watch people get caught trying to smuggle a rollaboard onto their flights and claim it to be a personal item akin to a purse or a fanny pack.\u00a0 But otherwise, it\u2019s going to be a mess of humanity, which in this case isn\u2019t necessarily the gate agents\u2019 fault as much as it is just an unfortunate process of boarding a plane being a pain in the ass no matter what airline you\u2019re on.<\/span><\/p>\n But yeah, seriously, if ATL could just clear up the legion of inefficiencies that are present infrastructurally, then they absolutely wouldn\u2019t need to even entertain the idea of a second airport.\u00a0 Obviously, that will never, ever happen, so we\u2019ll be subject to silly hypotheticals like this one, but at the same time, it might not be the worst idea in the world, either\u2026 Like if there were a second airport, that were like the size of Richmond International, I\u2019d much rather go there over fucking ATL.\u00a0 But I\u2019m not here to defend the idea, I\u2019m here to shit on it.<\/span><\/p>\n
![a quarter mile<\/a> apart.<\/span><\/p>\nSo now you get to your terminal.\u00a0 Smart travelers usually utilize this time, if they have any, to make sure to take care of things like bathroom needs and\/or food before hopping onto a flight, because neither is a guarantee once in the air.\u00a0 If you arrive to ATL for a 5-7 am flight, nothing is going to be open.\u00a0 If you arrive at 8, you\u2019ll be privileged to watch the morning crew blissfully and deliberately ignore you until 9 am while they blab and socialize instead of possibly opening up and start making money.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nAnd then they\u2019ll work at a snail\u2019s pace the entire day because honestly, it doesn\u2019t matter how hard they work, the line will be wall-to-wall, so they\u2019re never going to give beyond the bare minimum effort.\u00a0 And then by 6 pm, they\u2019ll claim to be out of food for the day, close up shop and be out the door by 7, leaving the only options left usually being the McDonald\u2019s, Qdoba and Panda Express in the E gates, or people ransack the closest Hudson News of anything edible.<\/span><\/p>\nOh and the bathrooms?\u00a0 Much like the rest of the airport, ATL\u2019s restrooms are most definitely the busiest bathrooms on the planet, and at no point on any day will you ever walk into a restroom and not find every single urinal and stall in use, and the appropriate response is to just hunker down and wait, because there\u2019s absolutely no guarantee it won\u2019t be the exact same result at the next one.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nI hope you like your toilet seats pre-warmed by some other person\u2019s ass.<\/span><\/p>\nFinally, you arrive at your gate, which will usually be completely packed by the entire world obviously going to the same destination you are, or by people who are over being crowded in their own gates and have come to occupy yours and refuse to yield their seat, because most likely, they are bogarting a power outlet to charge their phones so that they can listen to music or watch video without any headphones on and zero fucks to give to the people around them.<\/span><\/p>\nThe gate agent will also be on a power trip, and lord have mercy on your soul if you are flying a budget airline like Spirit or Frontier, where the greatest pleasure of their days, as well as bystanders of higher intellects, are watching and hoping to watch people get caught trying to smuggle a rollaboard onto their flights and claim it to be a personal item akin to a purse or a fanny pack.\u00a0 But otherwise, it\u2019s going to be a mess of humanity, which in this case isn\u2019t necessarily the gate agents\u2019 fault as much as it is just an unfortunate process of boarding a plane being a pain in the ass no matter what airline you\u2019re on.<\/span><\/p>\nBut yeah, seriously, if ATL could just clear up the legion of inefficiencies that are present infrastructurally, then they absolutely wouldn\u2019t need to even entertain the idea of a second airport.\u00a0 Obviously, that will never, ever happen, so we\u2019ll be subject to silly hypotheticals like this one, but at the same time, it might not be the worst idea in the world, either\u2026 Like if there were a second airport, that were like the size of Richmond International, I\u2019d much rather go there over fucking ATL.\u00a0 But I\u2019m not here to defend the idea, I\u2019m here to shit on it.<\/span><\/p>\nAlso what\u2019s up with all this nonsense about building a hypothetical second in Dawsonville?\u00a0 What is up with Dawsonville that they think about building a mega venue up there, and tossing the idea of a second airport up there anyway<\/a>?\u00a0 It\u2019s about as proximity to Atlanta as Washington Dulles is to actual Washington DC, which is to say it\u2019s far as shit, but if I had to take a guess, if a second airport comes to fruition regardless of the fact that it\u2019s wholly unneeded, there are probably a bunch of white men who stand to make a whole lot of money in the process.<\/span><\/p>\nThe point remains, back to the original question, does Atlanta need a second airport?\u00a0 Which brings us back to the original answer: no.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"No.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[117,79,100,45,83,143,65,190,49],"class_list":["post-49463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-airports","tag-cashmoney","tag-comparison","tag-fail","tag-observations","tag-ohatlanta","tag-travel","tag-white-people","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=49463"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49463\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49465,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49463\/revisions\/49465"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=49463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=49463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=49463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/f2BCqb5EYlIAAAAd\/fast-and-furious-quarter.gif\"){kind=link}