![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/gift_joy_kondo.jpg\")
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I understand that over the last year or two, I\u2019ve been coming off like a tremendous Scrooge.\u00a0 I will be the first to admit that I am suffering from depression in the span of that time, because at the root of everything I feel that my life is very difficult, and largely in part due to the feeling financially insecure, and the gamut of factors why it is as well the results of it.<\/span><\/p>\n In this span, I have been largely incapable of enjoying holidays in the manner in which they really should be enjoyed, because when you\u2019re in a position that I\u2019m in, holidays mean a lot more work, a lot more effort, a lot more money, with the latter variable being largely in part of why I\u2019m often times so anxious and fretting over the most.<\/span><\/p>\n But to the point of the subject of this post, I\u2019m really over shopping for presents, mostly because I just don\u2019t know what the fuck anyone and everyone wants, but I feel obligation to provide gifts to a lot of these people, because it\u2019s the most efficient way of demonstrating that I care and I really do care and I really do want to show my appreciation, but the truth of the matter is that I just don\u2019t know what people want and\/or I do, but it\u2019s something that\u2019s ridiculously expensive and I don\u2019t have the means to get it and that\u2019s a whole result of sucking as well.<\/span><\/p>\n Anyway, I have a list of people whom I want to get something for, and the vast majority of it is blank currently, because I just don\u2019t know what to get anyone.\u00a0 These days, or maybe that it\u2019s always been the case, people are capable of getting what they want, when they want, to a degree that by the time the holidays roll around, there\u2019s nothing left to ask for.\u00a0 And not knowing what to get someone seems like the worst possible outcome, because if I knew what to get everyone, I wouldn\u2019t be typing up this conversation piece in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n Yet I feel obligated to get things for everyone because I know that the most of them will be doing the same for me.\u00a0 Honestly if it were up to me, there would be no gifts shared, so that neither party feels obligated to exchange gifts and go through the time, effort and finances to demonstrate with gifts the importance of one another to each other.\u00a0 I try to do that for others by giving them time, effort, favors when called upon, or being there in times of need.<\/span><\/p>\n But the point is, I\u2019m sick of gifts.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry if that sounds horribly crass and blunt and really curmudgeon but that\u2019s where I\u2019m at right now.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired of not knowing what anyone wants because I don\u2019t have the capacity to be around everyone that matters to me to pick up hints and ideas for what I can provide for them, and it\u2019s driving me insane sitting in front of my computer and trying to rack my brain fruitlessly for ideas of gifts that will inevitably end up being shitty because the rationale for them will be so convoluted and stretched that they\u2019ll suck and people will try their hardest to be nice and try to not feel in the backs of their minds that they were given a stinker.<\/span><\/p>\n I want nothing, so that I can be absolved of the feeling obligated to return the favor, so that I can spend my sparse time, shits to give and money on more important thing than gifts, which is exactly what I\u2019d really like the most.\u00a0 There is a direct correlation with my depression and those things being in more copacetic places than they are now, and I just don\u2019t know what to do to improve things and this is not how I want to be feeling at a time of the year where people are expected to be happy, festive and grateful for things.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I understand that over the last year or two, I\u2019ve been coming off like a tremendous Scrooge.\u00a0 I will be the first to admit that I am suffering from depression in the span of that time, because at the root of everything I feel that my life is very difficult, and largely in part due … Continue reading I am so over shopping for presents<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,79,45,101,121,52,110,146,49],"class_list":["post-49718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-angst","tag-cashmoney","tag-fail","tag-holidays","tag-homeownership","tag-owned","tag-tradition","tag-triggered","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=49718"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49720,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49718\/revisions\/49720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=49718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=49718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=49718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}