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If you\u2019re one of my zero readers and have known me for while, you probably know that I don\u2019t make much of a deal of my birthday at all.\u00a0 The lower the expectations I have for them, the less I can be disappointed if they\u2019re not met, so I typically try to treat them like any other day of the year, except people typically try to be a little bit nicer to me.<\/span><\/p>\n However, the one area in which I do have expectations are the litany of companies in which I have accounts with, or they at least have my email address in exchange for offers, news and occasional free shit; when my birthday rolls around, yeah, I am expecting some free shit, in the realm of some free and\/or discounted food.\u00a0 Even if everyone I know makes me feel inconsequential and invisible on my own birthday, I can still usually take solace in the fact that I can wander off and get a free meal or cobble together some free food from all the places where I\u2019ve willingly volunteered some personal information with.<\/span><\/p>\n That is until this year, where it seems like everywhere where I\u2019d hoped to have gotten any sort of offers from, have been circling the wagons and playing defense with free birthday shit.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t to say that nobody\u2019s giving away anything, it\u2019s just the shit that has been offered, if anything at all, have been way less impressive than in previous years, and at this point, it doesn\u2019t appear that I\u2019m going to be able to fill my stomach on free food, unless I want to go into a diabetic coma afterward.<\/span><\/p>\n A few years ago, my favorite burrito joint in the city used to straight up offer up a free burrito on my birthday, one that I always went out of my way to cash in, because fuck who am I to turn down a free Willy\u2019s burrito?\u00a0 A year ago, it was a 50% off burrito, which I still redeemed, because fuck who am I to turn down a discounted Willy\u2019s burrito?\u00a0 However, this year, at the 11th<\/sup> hour I might add, the email finally comes with this year\u2019s offer, and it\u2019s for but just a free side guacamole or side queso, and I\u2019m like wtf.\u00a0 Chips are inconsequential when it comes to my desired burrito meal, and this year there\u2019s no burrito at all attached to the offer.\u00a0 Pass<\/span><\/p>\n Other restaurants where I frequent enough to have apps on my phone, because I embarrassingly order from them frequent enough to warrant it, all I\u2019m getting are offers for free desserts.\u00a0 I mean, I have a ridiculously high status with Chick Fil-A, and they\u2019ve yet to give me fucking anything at all, and I\u2019m wondering if they\u2019re going to spring something up on my actual birthday, as if I weren\u2019t trying to plot out my day to maximize how much free shit I can redeem.<\/span><\/p>\n You know it\u2019s bad when Starbucks<\/em> is the only company to offer up something of decent value, which is the customary free drink, no strings except that it can only be redeemed on the actual birthday instead of the week, or the month of, as it used to be in the past.\u00a0 Of course I\u2019m going to redeem this one, seeing as how this year I have the luxury of my birthday falling on my work from home day, so there is even the remote possibility I might be able to chill at a Starbucks to enjoy my free drink while working remotely.<\/span><\/p>\n Otherwise, all the other companies in which I\u2019d hoped there would\u2019ve been free shit, all fucking fail.\u00a0 I don\u2019t ask for a lot in my life, and I don\u2019t have a tremendous want for any material things.\u00a0 All I really want on my birthday is some free food and not get aggravated too much, because anything else is mostly unreasonable and likely to not happen and disappoint me, and I don\u2019t want to be disappointed on my birthday, no matter how much I try to tell myself to treat it like any other day.<\/span><\/p>\n F for all the companies that I generally pour my money into that won\u2019t give me anything substantial on my birthday.\u00a0 You\u2019re all disappointments with your stinginess.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you\u2019re one of my zero readers and have known me for while, you probably know that I don\u2019t make much of a deal of my birthday at all.\u00a0 The lower the expectations I have for them, the less I can be disappointed if they\u2019re not met, so I typically try to treat them like … Continue reading It\u2019s my birthday, where\u2019s my free shit<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[67,201,100,45,56,83,52],"class_list":["post-49903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-birthday","tag-cash-money","tag-comparison","tag-fail","tag-food","tag-observations","tag-owned"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49903","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=49903"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49903\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49905,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49903\/revisions\/49905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=49903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=49903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=49903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}