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WSB<\/a>: Braves\u2019 AA-affiliate Columbus Clingstones announce the name of their mascot \u2013 Fuzzy<\/span><\/p>\n Naturally, I didn\u2019t expect much when I found out that the Columbus Clingstones were seeking out a name for their anamorphic peach mascot.\u00a0 Not that they\u2019re being forced by the Braves like they once used to, but being a Braves affiliate still means they\u2019re not going to do anything remotely interesting or willing to rock the boat.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know, nor did I really care to look into what the other options were,* but considering \u201cFuzzy\u201d won out, I can\u2019t imagine that they were possibly anything competitively intriguing.<\/span><\/p>\n *Fuzzy, Pit, Stoney and Cobbler; yep, nothing exciting<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Fuzzy is the name that a three-year old toddler names their favorite stuffed bear.\u00a0 Or any sort of stuffed thing that comes into their possession that they declare in two seconds that they want to have forever and is already their best friend.\u00a0 I love my kids, but they\u2019re still too young to be coming up with some seriously clever and\/or meta thinking names for the things they want to name yet, but they\u2019re also four and three years old, and I have a hard time believing that of the alleged 675 fan suggestions, they were all toddlers.<\/span><\/p>\n Unsurprising though, considering the lukewarm response to naming themselves the Clingstones, a term that most people outside of the southeast have never even heard of, that they would go with an absolute snoozefest of a name like Fuzzy.<\/span><\/p>\n I was hoping that the Clingstones would\u2019ve carried on a trope started by the AAA-affiliate of the Braves, when they were crowdsourcing for a new name; they came up with four finalists, had a voting period, and when the vote was over, they announced a name that wasn\u2019t even one of the options<\/a> to begin with, the Stripers.\u00a0 In all fairness, the Stripers was way better than all of the available options so it wasn\u2019t all for the worst, and considering what options the people of Columbus had to pick from, it would\u2019ve been both hilarious and productive if the same kind of thing happened here as well.<\/span><\/p>\n Frankly, as much as I like the actual mascot of Fuzzy (what can I say, I\u2019m a sucker for anamorphic food mascots), I hate the name.\u00a0 It would\u2019ve been great if they had their silly little voting period, and then in the end, went ahead and declared that the name of the mascot be Clinger, the Clingstone.<\/span><\/p>\n And with a name like that, it can create all sorts of room for interpretation, but most prevalently the fact that a clinger is an allegory for a little turd that is stuck to a creature\u2019s butt, which seems appropriate for the absolute flop of a naming rebrand the Columbus baseball organization did.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s like, I really like the colors, the mascot, the general aesthetic of the team; but the names Clingstones and Fuzzy the mascot are just colossal whiffs.\u00a0 It\u2019s like I wish the team could borrow the Time Stone from Dr. Strange or Thanos, rewind just far back enough to where they got to the point where the brand kid was complete but didn\u2019t have a name, and just re-did reality to where they might have gone with other names before the Clingstones and subsequently, Fuzzy.<\/span><\/p>\n But at least it served as impetus to create an image of Fuzzy the Clingstone being the clinger that the names of the team are in my opinion, and poop jokes sell, in my little slice of the internet.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" WSB: Braves\u2019 AA-affiliate Columbus Clingstones announce the name of their mascot \u2013 Fuzzy Naturally, I didn\u2019t expect much when I found out that the Columbus Clingstones were seeking out a name for their anamorphic peach mascot.\u00a0 Not that they\u2019re being forced by the Braves like they once used to, but being a Braves affiliate still … Continue reading Fuzzy the Clingstone: as if it were going to be anything remotely interesting<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[196,62,131,66,100,45,64,83,52,58,49],"class_list":["post-50310","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-barves","tag-baseball","tag-branding","tag-braves","tag-comparison","tag-fail","tag-minor-leagues","tag-observations","tag-owned","tag-sports","tag-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50310","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50310"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50312,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50310\/revisions\/50312"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50310"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50310"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}