{"id":50692,"date":"2025-05-17T10:55:39","date_gmt":"2025-05-17T15:55:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=50692"},"modified":"2025-05-23T10:55:43","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T15:55:43","slug":"shitty-game-alert-for-parents-donut-dash-by-goliath-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=50692","title":{"rendered":"Shitty game alert for parents: Donut Dash by Goliath Games"},"content":{"rendered":"

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My kid begged and whined for us to get this game.\u00a0 And seeing as how it was on deep discount at the death row of JoAnn\u2019s, we acquiesced, because nowadays, anything that can occupy and entertain my children for more than two seconds is considered a win, and which is why my house feels like a future episode of Hoarders: Buried Alive<\/em>, is because it\u2019s so full of shit like this.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mythical wife has this funny habit, where she\u2019ll buy things for the kids, but then just kind of hand them off or leave them for me or the au pair to give to the kids, or in some cases, just kind of give the things to the kids and let them tear into the boxes and packages because they love to do that kind of shit.\u00a0 But in most cases, that\u2019s not always the best idea, because games aren\u2019t made to be immediately played right out of the box, now more than ever, and this fucking game, Donut Dash<\/em>, is among the worst I\u2019ve ever experienced.<\/span><\/p>\n

The above image I made pretty much gets right to the point on why this game blows, because there are no batteries included, and worse off, there are a ton of stickers in the box that need to be affixed to very specific things, like the little car, as well as decorating each and every single one of the 22 donuts included in the game.\u00a0 And my kids love fucking stickers, and it took less than 10 seconds for them to start peeling them up and affixing them to absolutely anything but their intended objects, and I spent an inordinate amount of time, obviously annoyed, trying to carefully peel and correct sticker placement onto the bullshit donuts that couldn\u2019t possibly have been bothered to have that kind of shit printed on, on perhaps cardboard instead of shitty plastic.<\/span><\/p>\n

And when I read how the game actually played, I could already see in my head upon reading that the car shot <\/em>the discs out in random directions, that this game wouldn\u2019t last five minutes before we lost one or more of these stupid donuts.<\/span><\/p>\n

That is, if the dumb car didn\u2019t jam immediately, because of the donuts that my kids put stickers on themselves poorly stuck to the inside of the well, clogging immediately, once again requiring parental intervention to fix it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I actually didn\u2019t stick around for the actual play of the game, but when I came back home later in the afternoon, I found at least three donuts randomly on the ground, and I imagine that there\u2019s probably others underneath the refrigerator, under the area rugs, and undoubtedly underneath the couch.\u00a0 And the kids were completely uninterested in it any further, and I opted to just box it back up, and put it away, because as far as I\u2019m concerned, Donut Dash is a colossal piece of shit and a waste of money, even if it was down to just $8.<\/span><\/p>\n

The point is, this is an awful fucking game, not just for the kids who will lose interest in a fifth of the time it takes to properly set it up, but the parents who not only will pay for it, but are also the ones who will be responsible for said proper set up, lest the kids like my own fuck it all up from the on set, which I would highly recommend not allowing to be the case, if one was still so inclined to want to give this turd a try.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My kid begged and whined for us to get this game.\u00a0 And seeing as how it was on deep discount at the death row of JoAnn\u2019s, we acquiesced, because nowadays, anything that can occupy and entertain my children for more than two seconds is considered a win, and which is why my house feels like … Continue reading Shitty game alert for parents: Donut Dash by Goliath Games<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[193,45,192,83],"class_list":["post-50692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-dad","tag-fail","tag-kids","tag-observations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50692"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50692\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50694,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50692\/revisions\/50694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}