![\"\"](\"http:\/\/totfc.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/fourlokos.jpg\")
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WSB<\/a>: Hall County sheriff busted for DUI after blowing a 0.212, revealed that he had been drinking Four Lokos since 6 a.m.<\/span><\/p>\n Under normal circumstances, a story like this would roll off my back, perhaps get an eye roll out of me, knowing that police protect their own, and that regardless of how egregiously drunk the guy was, while in his county-issued vehicle, it\u2019s safe to assume that he\u2019s not going to be getting close to the same kind of punishment that us normal citizens would receive under similar conditions.<\/span><\/p>\n He may lose his job, but considering he\u2019s out there drinking while on duty, he probably doesn\u2019t care in the first place, and he\u2019s most likely not going to be doing any time, or have a suspended license, or be on probation on account of the oft-cliched professional courtesy<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n But what caught my attention and why this is ending up as brog-worthy is the clarity in the headline that this particular pig in question, hadn\u2019t just been drinking since six in the morning, but he had been drinking Four Lokos<\/em> in his cop car:<\/span><\/p>\n Couch told investigators that he had been drinking several Four Lokos since 6 a.m. that morning. Investigators also found two open cans of Bahama Mama that had spilled in his car.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The devil is in the details, and now we\u2019re talking.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Obviously, anyone who\u2019s ever known me might recall my own fascination with Four Loko<\/a> back over a decade ago.\u00a0 I was mystified by the fact that these shitty, $4 tall boys of nuclear race piss were actually killing college bros, dumb enough to be drinking more than like, one, at a time.\u00a0 When the government declared banishment on the drinks, for whatever reason, I felt the compulsion to seek out some of these awful drinks, and managed to procure several cans of various flavors.<\/span><\/p>\n Over the next years, I would bust them out at social gatherings or Dragon*Cons as my drink of choice in order to get a healthy buzz going, and make no mistake, one can of any Four Loko was instant drunk, and anything beyond that was playing with fire.<\/span><\/p>\n Eventually, I would steer away from this dumbass behavior, and the remainder of my hoarded cans would remain ironic collector\u2019s items, that is, until for whatever reason, some of them would spontaneously eat their own cans, leading to some obnoxious messes that I had to clean and eventually realized that I should just chuck them out, thus closing the book on my keepsake cans of Four Loko.<\/span><\/p>\n Back to the present, Four Loko survived government intervention, but they apparently changed the formula somewhat to be less lethal when drank in stupid amounts, and they\u2019re still available at gas stations and wherever shitty booze is sold.\u00a0 And apparently for one Hall County sheriff, it was his go-to drink for when he wanted to get smashed on the job.<\/span><\/p>\n Like I said, if it were just a story of a cop who got blasted on the clock, I probably wouldn\u2019t have given it a second thought beyond knee-jerk disgust and disappointment in the system.\u00a0 But finding out that he had been getting smashed on Four Loko since six in the morning, and he was discovered obliterated five and a half hours later, man clearly had some serious demons in his closet for all this to be transpiring.<\/span><\/p>\n And that 0.212% BAC is pretty frightening, because to my understanding that\u2019s basically saying that over 20% of the blood in his body was tainted with alcohol.\u00a0 I\u2019ve gotten drunk off of Four Loko before (always under slightly more responsible, non-driving conditions), but I have come down from the buzz pretty normally, so I doubt that I was ever remotely close to a 0.212% BAC, so I\u2019m curious to how many cans of the jet fuel he consumed, and let\u2019s not ignore the fact that he had several open cans of Bahama Mama, which is another fruity, race piss-like canned booze, so clearly this hick sheriff was having a one-man party in his cruiser.<\/span><\/p>\n Either way, I\u2019m amused by the brief resurrection of Four Loko into the public lexicon, and the ironic and pathetic circumstances in which they did so.\u00a0 In a way, there isn\u2019t a better way for it to have happened, and 16 years later, Four Loko is running it back with inebriated chaos like it\u2019s 2010 all over again.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" WSB: Hall County sheriff busted for DUI after blowing a 0.212, revealed that he had been drinking Four Lokos since 6 a.m. Under normal circumstances, a story like this would roll off my back, perhaps get an eye roll out of me, knowing that police protect their own, and that regardless of how egregiously drunk … Continue reading It\u2019s the Four Loko that makes this amusing to me<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[97,112,107,45,129,8,52,99,190],"class_list":["post-51107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-booze","tag-crime","tag-dragoncon","tag-fail","tag-nostalgia","tag-ohgeorgia","tag-owned","tag-reminiscing","tag-white-people"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51107"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51107\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":51109,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51107\/revisions\/51109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}