{"id":51510,"date":"2026-09-13T13:26:04","date_gmt":"2026-09-13T18:26:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=51510"},"modified":"2026-09-13T13:26:34","modified_gmt":"2026-09-13T18:26:34","slug":"i-suppose-when-youre-about-to-be-euthanized-caffeine-may-let-you-live-three-more-seconds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/?p=51510","title":{"rendered":"I suppose when you\u2019re about to be euthanized, no-caffeine may let you live three more seconds"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"ANF<\/a>: Georgia death-row inmate selects last meal, set for execution on September 16th<\/sup><\/span>
\nLet\u2019s just cut to the chase:<\/span><\/p>\n

For his last meal, prison officials said Humphreys requested barbecue beef brisket, pork ribs, a bacon double cheeseburger with fries, buffalo wings, a meat lovers pan pizza and two caffeine-free sodas. For dessert, he chose butter pecan ice cream and peach ice cream.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Honestly, take the whole murdering of two real estate agents out of the equation and journey to death row, and this sounds like an absolute banger of a big back meal, that would be like a final boss-caliber cheat day of eating.<\/span><\/p>\n

The funny thing to me about final meal requests is that these inmates always ask for enough food for entire families, more than likely knowing that they have no chance at finishing everything, and the crazier thing is that the institutions of incarceration always seem to honor them.<\/span><\/p>\n

As far as final meals go, this one does seem kind of tame.\u00a0 Man is basically asking for the entire menu at like Buffalo Wild Wings, with all the barbecue items he\u2019s requesting, as well as cheeseburgers and pizza.\u00a0 About a decade ago, also here in Georgia, there was a woman on death row<\/a> who requested a ton of things that seemed to have a common thread, of buttermilk and eggs, and it seemed to me that she was planning on making herself into a human atomic bomb of toxic gas, fully anticipating that once she died, and believing that the body\u2019s functions cease and evacuate, to make the absolutely most trainwreck of a mess as possible on the way out.<\/span><\/p>\n

This guy isn\u2019t really going that route, even if it is the only real chance that any accused has to get the last word in with their jailers, man just wants a solid Roy Hobbs Day<\/a> on the way out.<\/span><\/p>\n

But why this is a post on the brog is that the devil is in the details, and it\u2019s some of the details that pique my interest and inspire me to put down some words.<\/span><\/p>\n

First, is the fact that he specifically asked for a meat lovers pan <\/em>pizza, and not a whole-ass Pizza Hut Big New Yorker<\/a> with every single meat option slathered on it.\u00a0 I get that there is a culinary difference between the two, what with the pan pizza having those crispy edges that might be a personal preference, but if I\u2019m on my way out, feel any sort of malice or resentment to my jailers or the state of Georgia, and know that the taxpayers are on the hook for feeding my ass one last time, I might pick the more expensive option, knowing that I probably won\u2019t finish it anyway, taking any sort of pyrrhic victories as I can.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, this dude is being quite modest with his request of a diminutive pan pizza, almost as if it were meant to be a dainty side dish to accompany his barbecue train he\u2019s going to run.<\/span><\/p>\n

Next we have the two caffeine-free sodas that he\u2019s requested; I\u2019m going to assume they\u2019re along the lines of a cola or of the dark colored variety, and not like a Crush or Mountain Dew.\u00a0 It\u2019s funny in the sense that he specifically asked for two, and not an entire six or 12-pack, because short of going to a gas station or a Dollar Tree, I don\u2019t even know where you can even get individual cans of soda.\u00a0 More than likely, whomever is in charge of fulfilling this meal request will be stuck with leftover sodas in their possession, knowing that the missing cans were meant for a dead guy.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the coup de grace is the fact that for whatever reason, it was specified that he wanted caffeine-free sodas.\u00a0 Man is about to be put to eternal sleep, and he\u2019s sweating having sodas that have caffeine in it before he\u2019s put to death.\u00a0 And just two \u2013 clearly trying to watch his weight and sodium intake, in spite of the 8,000mg of sodium he\u2019ll already be taking in with his requested final meal.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was a kid, I was so hooked on soda, and in spite of my mom\u2019s general aversion to supporting such a habit, occasionally I could talk her into picking up a case of sodas, provided it were caffeine-free Diet Coke.\u00a0 It\u2019s like being the absolute least offensive of the cola family made it somewhat palatable for my mom to purchase.\u00a0 Plus, the gold cans are kind of baller, and it\u2019s almost a shame that the color gold is treated as like fourth tier in the Coca-Cola hierarchy.<\/span><\/p>\n

I suppose he\u2019s being cognizant of the risk of elevated heart rate that caffeine has on the human body, and seeing as how he\u2019s going to be put down via lethal injection, I suppose keeping his heart rate as low as possible when getting the needle, he might be able to prolong his life by like maybe, three more seconds.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And if he has any inkling of wanting to remain among the living, I suppose every second counts<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ANF: Georgia death-row inmate selects last meal, set for execution on September 16th Let\u2019s just cut to the chase: For his last meal, prison officials said Humphreys requested barbecue beef brisket, pork ribs, a bacon double cheeseburger with fries, buffalo wings, a meat lovers pan pizza and two caffeine-free sodas. For dessert, he chose butter … Continue reading I suppose when you\u2019re about to be euthanized, no-caffeine may let you live three more seconds<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[100,112,120,56,207,30,83,8,52],"class_list":["post-51510","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brog","tag-comparison","tag-crime","tag-fat-people","tag-food","tag-health","tag-justice","tag-observations","tag-ohgeorgia","tag-owned"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51510"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51510\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":51513,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51510\/revisions\/51513"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/totfc.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}